Guidelines for Effective Resolutions

Let’s face it, practically all of us set New Year’s resolutions every year, and practically every year they don’t come true. Sure, we work hard on them for a week or two, and sometimes even a month! Slowly but surely, though, we forget all about them and our life returns to the way it was before. This doesn’t mean we should eliminate resolutions all together, because they can certainly be powerful tools in creating change in our lives. However, I’d like to suggest a different way we could go about setting resolutions this year, which will make them more effective and more likely to come true!

Here are some suggestions you might try implementing in 2010:

1) Set an intention: Instead of calling them New Year’s resolutions, try calling them New Year’s intentions. Sure, it sounds like the same thing, but there’s a slight difference. So many of us have set resolutions in years past and have been unsuccessful. Therefore, just hearing the word “resolution” has a negative connotation to it. In fact, those people who don’t set New Year’s resolutions say they don’t do it because they know they’re sure to fail! A resolution means you resolve to do something, and therefore if you aren’t successful you automatically assume you’re a failure. By calling it a New Year’s intention instead, you are signaling to yourself and the Universe that you are intending to create a change in your life and will do everything you can to make that change come true. However, because it’s an intention and not a resolution, you don’t have any excuse to beat yourself up if you're not successful. You still may not follow through as much as you would like, but at least you won't be so harsh on yourself!

2) Learn to love yourself: Instead of intending to do the same things you’ve probably tried in years past (like losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.), why not make this the year you finally learn to love and accept yourself, AS IS, once and for all?! So many people want to create change in their lives because they think that will finally make them happy. Without true self-love, however, you will never achieve the level of happiness and security that you think weight loss, making more money, finding your life partner, etc. will bring you. Start by learning to love yourself once and for all, and not only will you feel better as a whole, but all those other things you are hoping to achieve will manifest much easier in your life! See my last blog post for an exercise that will help you do just this.

3) Celebrate your successes: Be sure to acknowledge and reward yourself for all the great effort you put forth in 2009 and everything you accomplished, whether you set out to or not. Most people are so focused on what they want to change in 2010 that they completely forget to give themselves credit for what they achieved in 2009! Sit down and make a list of everything that went right in the past year. Celebrate yourself for all the successes you had, no matter how big or small. Not only will this help you reflect on how productive your last year really was, but doing this will fill you with a sense of accomplishment and lots of positive energy and motivation as you head into 2010!

4) Practice gratitude: Finally, be grateful for the resolutions you set in 2009 that didn’t pan out exactly the way you had hoped. There’s always an upside to every situation, and the sooner you can find it the better off you’ll be! Rather than beating yourself up for not having lost that ten lbs. last year, find the payoffs you gained from that situation. For example, maybe you were able to spend more time with your children because you weren’t spending so much time in the gym. Or maybe you didn’t get the job you were hoping for last year, but in turn that allowed you to start a successful online business instead. Even if the payoffs aren’t immediately obvious, keep looking and you’re sure to find them! The Universe always has your best interests in mind, so if you didn’t achieve something last year that you were hoping to it just means there was a bigger and better plan for you.

Here's to hoping that 2010 is your best year yet! If I can help you in any way or support you in achieving your dreams, you are always welcome to contact me.

2010: The Year of Self-Love!

As 2009 winds down and 2010 is rapidly approaching, I’m sure that everyone is rushing to finish their holiday shopping and trying to come up with resolutions for the year ahead. Instead of setting the same old New Year’s resolutions as the year before, however, and probably the year before that, I’d like to suggest a different sort of resolution for 2010 that most people probably overlook. Instead of planning to finally lose that dreaded last ten lbs., or find your soulmate, or make more money, or quit smoking, etc. why not make 2010 the year you finally learn to love yourself, faults and all and make it the year of self-love?!

We’ve all heard that loving yourself is essential if you want to live a truly rewarding life, but how many of us can actually say we love ourselves deep down, exactly as we are. You may have even reached a place where you are able to love and accept yourself most of the time, but there are still a few areas where you are struggling to appreciate yourself day in and day out. Let's make this year where we finally make peace with every single place in ourselves, good, bad, and ugly! Not only will you feel a lot better as a whole, but all those other things you’re hoping to achieve will fall into place so much easier if you just love and accept yourself as you are.

Here’s an exercise I tried recently, and it is extremely powerful in getting you to a place of releasing shame and making peace with yourself as a whole. I found it in Byron Katie’s book, I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead and instantly recognized its potential and possibilities for increasing self-love. I encourage you to try this, and the more uncomfortable you are with it, the better!

First, take out a sheet of paper and think of someone in your life that you hide things from. It could be a spouse, parent, child, friend, etc., or even the planet as a whole! Now, imagine that you are writing a letter to this person (or people) and start out the letter by saying, “What I don’t want you to know about me is…” Then, list everything you would be ashamed of or embarrassed about if that person discovered these aspects about yourself. Things like, “I have cellulite on my thighs, I rarely pay my bills on-time, I can be really evil when someone crosses me, I act like I am holier than thou but usually I’m not, I often say no to plans with friends because I don’t really like them and would prefer to be by myself, etc.” You get the point. Anything you would not want this other person to find out about, include it in your list!

Once you’ve come up with a complete list, you’re going to turn it around and write a letter that starts out with, “What I do want you to know about me is…” and then list everything you listed in the first letter. So using the example above, it would look like this: “What I do want you to know about me is that I have cellulite on my thighs, I rarely pay my bills on-time, I can be really evil when someone crosses me, I act like I am holier than thou but usually I’m not, I often say no to plans with friends because I don’t really like them and would prefer to be by myself, etc.” List everything you listed in the first example, but this time approach it from a stance of wanting to share this information with the other person. (Don’t worry, you never have to share this letter with anyone if you don’t want to! This is just an exercise to help *you* in loving yourself.)

This can be an easy or difficult exercise, depending on how much you currently accept yourself and how in touch with your “darker” places you are. Some of you may have several things to list, whereas others of you may just have a few places inside that you haven’t fully come to terms with yet. If uncomfortable feelings come up while you do this exercise (which is completely normal!), then just take some time to simply be with yourself and be with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that arise. You may find yourself thinking things like, “I would be horrified if he ever knew that about me! He would leave me in a heartbeat.” or “There’s no way I could ever tell her I did that. She would never look at me the same again.” Simply notice the thoughts passing through your mind and the sensations you feel in your body. You don’t have to do anything with them except notice them. If you meditate then you know the power of watching your thoughts and feelings float by and not getting caught up in them.

After you’ve taken some time to simply be with yourself, and with the thoughts and feelings that arise from doing this exercise, I think you’ll feel much more at peace with the aspects of yourself that you previously thought were so unlovable. You may even actually find yourself loving them and appreciating them! Let's all learn how to love ourselves once and for all, and make 2010 the year of self-love.

Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

I’m currently reading the book If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path
by Charlotte Kasl, which is a great read for anyone trying to introduce more love and spirituality in their life. She has a version for married couples, as well. I’ve been wanting to read this book for awhile now, and I'm glad I picked it up!

This is not your typical dating book that describes how to attract someone by acting according to certain rules, dressing a certain way, or playing a particular part. Instead, the basis of this book is that the only way to ever truly attract a genuine spiritual partnership into your life is to love and accept ALL of yourself (yes, even those parts that you don’t particularly like!) and allow your partner to love and accept those sides of yourself as well. With the divorce rate being as high as it is today, I would venture to say that most marriages and relationships are NOT founded on this premise! Instead, relationships are usually more about finding someone to "complete you," to fill up the holes in your life, and to take the blame if you're not happy. What about taking responsibility for your own happiness, though?

I’ve been in my fair share of relationships where both of us did our best to show the other person how desirable we were, while blatantly hiding and denying any “negative” characteristics of ourselves that might find their way into the relationship. And if we did ever expose any “dark” sides of ourselves, it certainly wasn’t our fault! It was always the other person’s fault for causing us to act in such an ugly way. Ultimately, though, relationships like these never work because sooner or later the less-than-perfect aspects of ourselves always show up, whether we like it or not. At that point, either person A begins to run away so person B doesn’t see their "dark" places, or person B pulls away because they are uncomfortable with the dark places person A is showing (not accepting, of course, that they have their own dark places as well!).

I’ve known since I was a very little girl that I don’t want just any marriage. I want a deeply spiritual, life partnership, in which I am free to be me, ALL of me. Obviously, this also means that I will support my partner in being all that he is, good, bad, and ugly! Sure, we’d all love to live in a perfect world where we're always happy, constantly loving and kind, faithfully living our true purpose, etc., but most of us are not living in that world on a daily basis, myself included. I have very up days, and I also have very down days, very scared days, and very angry days. I’d love to have a partner who sticks by my side and supports me, even on the “off” days. Personally, I find it very attractive when a man can admit he’s scared or feeling weak or powerless, no matter how macho he may appear on the outside!

In light of the recent Tiger Woods saga, it seems especially important to remember what’s important in keeping a solid relationship together. Even with all the money in the world, good looks, unmatched career success, and a beautiful wife and kids at home, Tiger’s life and marriage is obviously not all it’s cracked up to be. I wonder how much of his situation comes from a reluctance to show and admit weaker sides of himself because he's trying so desperately to present an image of perfection to the world. I definitely remember seeing photos of his wedding and thinking to myself, "Wow, he really has it all!" It seems that in his quest to uphold his image of a perfect life, something went seriously wrong.

It takes a lot to open up to those parts in ourselves that may be particularly scary or painful. In fact, some of us may have hidden those parts of ourselves so deeply inside that we begin to uncover emotional scars still lurking from when we were five years old! It can be a bit startling to realize that something that happened to you when you were five years old is sabotaging your current relationships. The trick is in learning to practice compassion and kindness for yourself, and accepting yourself for being human. We all have good points and bad points, strengths and weaknesses, and successes and failures. Learning to make friends with all the various places in yourself and accepting them will not only allow you to develop a much stronger relationship with yourself, but will help you in attracting a spiritual partner who will also love you for all your good points and bad points!

How Do You See Yourself?

"Do not wait for the proof that you can be, do, or have what you want. BE it now in your mind." ~Eva Gregory

Let me ask you a question: How do you see yourself? No, I don’t mean when you look in the mirror or see a picture of yourself (despite the picture above!), but when you really look inside and see yourself in your mind's eye. If you were able to look down upon yourself from somewhere up in the sky, would you see yourself as happy, elated, and living the life of your dreams? Or do you see someone who’s angry, miserable, and can never catch a break? How you answer that question has a lot to do with the current circumstances of your life and the results you experience on a day-to-day basis!

If you see yourself as someone who always succeeds and makes things work, then you’re probably more open to taking risks and have a way of making things happen in your life. However, if you see yourself as more of a victim for whom things never work out, then you’re probably less likely to take chances or if you do, you might subconsciously sabotage yourself so that things always end up looking like a failure.

Try the following exercise and see what happens:

Find a quiet spot where you can sit or lie quietly undisturbed for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths, and allow yourself to completely relax and release all tension from your body. Next, imagine yourself flowing out of your body and looking down upon yourself from somewhere up in the sky. Just use your imagination for this, and pretend that you can look down on yourself. Pick a few different scenes from your daily life and observe yourself from above.

What do you see? Are you happy and filled with joy as you go about your life, or sad and lonely? Are you open and welcoming to others, or closed off and hiding behind layers of emotional walls? How do you look and act in different scenarios and surrounded by different people? Be sure to “observe yourself” from above especially in those areas where you regularly experience difficulties in life, i.e. work, relationships, family, etc.

Remember, whatever vibe or energy we send out into the world is multiplied by the law of attraction and creates the results we experience in our lives. If you’ve been having difficulty with a particular situation for awhile now, see if this exercise helps you see what vibe you are sending out to the Universe. Sometimes the way we are seen by others and the Universe as a whole is completely different than how we perceive ourselves (both in good ways and in bad!).

David Cameron Gikandi says, “Life is images of the mind, expressed. What this means is that Life, The Source, uses your thoughts, your mental images, as the instructions by which to create your reality in the material world. Life expresses your mental images into physical reality.” Whatever you are focused on in your mind and how you see yourself determines what you create in your existence.

The good news is, if you don’t like the way you see yourself or if your self-image doesn't line up with what you are trying to create in life, you can easily change it! Instead of seeing yourself as someone who can never make a relationship work, hates their job, and can never get ahead financially, use the power of your imagination to see yourself as someone who is married to your perfect partner, succeeding in your dream career, and making more than enough money to take vacations to exotic locales (or whatever appeals to you). For even faster results, visualize yourself living your ideal life for 15 minutes a day and in no time at all you'll be living a brand new life!

To learn more about the power of visualization be sure to check out my ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life. You will learn why visualization is so crucial in creating a life that makes you excited to jump out of bed every single morning!

Dissolving Your Blocks to Success

I participated in a personal growth workshop recently and one of the exercises we did was a guided visualization, in which we were asked to visualize receiving a gift or important message that we particularly need at this time. While I didn’t see anything during the visualization in terms of an actual, physical gift, the following four words came to me repeatedly throughout:
Allow, Embrace, Include and Integrate. Obviously these words could mean entirely different things to different people, but for me these words spoke really clearly to me in terms of dissolving blocks to success.

I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to the blocks that each of us have that get in the way of achieving success (whatever that looks like for you: wealth, ideal career, self-confidence, etc.), most of us would do anything we can to get rid of these blocks. We figure that the block is what's holding us back from getting what we want, so we must eliminate and destroy it at all costs!! There are a TON of ways we do this, but the goal is always to label the block as "wrong" and try to wipe it out completely.

But what if instead of trying so desperately to get rid of these blocks or get them out of the way, we actually invite them into our awareness, thereby allowing them, embracing them, including them and integrating them into our experience. Rather than doing everything in our power to destroy them, what if we acknowledge and accept them, explore them, and even consider learning from them!

If you subscribe to my newsletter, then you know I’ve been on a self-love kick lately. What better way to increase our self-love than to love ALL of ourselves, blocks and all! Try out this exercise the next time you feel stuck and let me know what you think. I think you’ll really like it:)

Think of something you are currently trying to achieve in life, but are having trouble accomplishing. It could be your ideal relationship, your desired weight, a promotion at work, anything that is important to you right now. Got something? Now imagine that whatever is holding you back is an actual feeling in your body. Even if you’ve never thought of it this way before, do so now. This means that you can’t blame your stuckness on the economy, or a stubborn spouse, or an ignorant boss. Go ahead and imagine that whatever is holding you back from achieving your desire is an actual feeling or sensation in your body, and figure out where in your body that feeling is.

Once you’ve located that feeling, take some time to really get in touch with it and get to know it as best as you can. For example, how big is it? Does it have a color, and if so, what it is? What texture is it? Does it feel heavy and dense or light and airy? Does it change shape and move around while you observe it, or stay stationary in one spot? Keep exploring this feeling and learning as much about it as possible! Instead of trying so hard to completely destroy this block, see what happens if you take some time to familiarize with it and find out what it’s all about.

Next, take this one step further and see if you can reach out from within you and actually give this feeling a hug! This can feel a bit strange since it’s just a feeling and not a concrete person or thing, but try this anyway and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel once you make friends with your block. You may even want to try imagining that you’re taking your block for a walk in the park, or that you’re on a swing set swinging back and forth with it.
Have fun with this!

Instead of running away from feelings that seem uncomfortable or burdensome, we can learn to make peace with them and accept them as they are. Once this happens, not only will you feel a lot better as a whole, but you’ll probably find that the feeling you were trying so desperately to get rid of actually dissolves all on its own! You may go looking for it and find that it's no longer anywhere to be found! "Whatever we resists persists,” so when we resist something we keep our attention focused on it and keep it stuck firmly in place. When you stop resisting something, however, and make friends with it or simply allow it to be there, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that it usually takes a hike all by itself. Once that happens, your success is right around the corner. :)

"Money Mojo Magic"

Ever since I started my website, the two questions I’m constantly asked are, “How do I create more money in my life?” and “How can I find my ideal partner?” I’ve got several relationship resources listed on my site (including a few new ones), but if you’re looking to increase the amount of cash flowing into your life, look no further! Occasionally I’ll be highlighting specific resources on this blog that I think are particularly effective, and this is one of those times.

Money Mojo Magic, by Jeannette Maw, is one of the best products I’ve seen in a long time for attracting money into your experience, and I’ve seen a lot. I literally started making more money the exact same day I read the ebook! (It’s a quick read, so it won’t be long before you start noticing results, too). Even though I've been studying this stuff for years, somehow this program helped me grasp money creation in a whole new way. And it's a lot easier than we've all been told!

Jeannette is a highly-regarded master law of attraction coach, and as a result this program comes entirely from a law of attraction stance. Therefore, just to be clear, this is not a program that talks about the actual steps to take in the real world to increase money, like investing in the stock market, or saving a certain amount every month. There are plenty of resources out there for that! Instead, this product addresses the real cause of all your money struggles or successes: your mindset and your overall vibe regarding money.

The truth is, until you get your beliefs and energy lined up with attracting more money into your life, all the “real-world” actions you take just won’t help. Any money you might make will eventually slip through your fingers and you’ll be right back where you started! This explains why professional athletes and lottery winners typically lose all their money within two years of receiving it. Until you've prepared yourself internally for large amounts of money, you won't see large amounts of money on the outside, no matter how many jobs you work, how much you save, or how much you invest.

I’ve been actively practicing the law of attraction since way before the movie "The Secret" came out, and I can tell you that it works. Whenever I start putting more energy, attention, and focus on creating more money, my bank balance increases. Conversely, when I start worrying about losing money or not making enough, that’s exactly when unexpected expenses pop up or I find myself shopping more than normal! Money Mojo Magic helps explain the upper limit phenomenon, which is at the heart of this problem. You'll also love this product because it shows you how to use the law of attraction to create other things in life besides money, like your ideal relationship, more energy, great health, your dream home, etc.

To learn more about how to change your results with money once and for all, go here. A workbook is included to help you uncover your current patterns, as well an hour-long audio. You will love Jeannette’s high energy and infectious laugh!

Self-Love Saturdays!

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know that a few weeks ago I initiated a new tradition called Self-Love Saturdays! I’ve been on my own self-love kick the past couple months, and have been participating in the seven-week Self-Love Studio teleseminar series (there's still a few weeks left to participate). The addition of Self-Love Saturdays to my life has been a perfect complement to everything else I've been doing, and I'm highly considering making it a weekly occurrence!

For me, this basically means setting aside an entire day, just for me! I have the whole day to do whatever I like, no questions asked. On these days I’ve intentionally not made any plans, so I have the entire day for me, tending to and nurturing myself however I see fit. I’ve been doing things like napping, taking long baths, meditating, attending yoga classes, doing the mirror exercise, reading, watching movies by candlelight, listening to peaceful music and soothing visualizations, etc. You get the idea! Obviously, depending on what you like to do, these things may or may not appeal to you so feel free to substitute other activities.

The point of having a self-love day is to create some time and space for YOU, and indulge in whatever your heart desires. For me, it is rest and relaxation. For others, it is going for a long run or playing a game of tennis that they can’t normally fit into their schedule. Some people (not me!) might feel better running tons of errands and checking things off their to-do list. Whatever calls to you, that’s what you do on your self-love day.

By setting aside an entire day for yourself (or even an hour if that’s all you have), you are signaling to both yourself and the Universe that you are important and that you are making yourself a priority. Remember, the way we treat ourselves is the way the world around us will treat us, so the higher we value ourselves the higher everyone else will value us! If you have a family or children it may be unrealistic to dedicate an entire day to yourself, but I still encourage you to slip away for an hour or two if you can and devote that time to yourself. An on-the-go yoga class or a quick walk in the park will do wonders for your soul!

Above all, it’s important on your self-love day to periodically check in with yourself to make sure that what you’re doing is what your body needs at the time. You may have set aside time to take a nap or read a book, but then realize that what your body actually needs is a walk outside in the fresh air. Be flexible and open to changing your plans! Again, this is all about you and giving yourself whatever you need. No questions asked and no guilt allowed. :)

For additional resources to help increase the amount of self-love in your life, be sure to go here.

Writing a Letter from Your Future Self

I’m always looking for fun and effective self-help tools and techniques that will allow me to create my ideal life and manifest everything I could possibly desire, and I recently stumbled upon the exercise below. This is a variation of an old tool I’ve heard of before and I think you’ll have a lot of fun with this! Thanks to Apryl Jensen at www.creatingconsciously.com for this fabulous idea.

The instructions are simple, but don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this exercise. This is powerful stuff that can truly help you create the life of your dreams!

You’re going to write a letter to a friend or family member from ten years in the future, as if everything you are hoping will come true in the next ten years of your life has already come true. You're not going to actually send this letter (although you can if you want!), so pick anyone you feel comfortable with that you want to address this letter to. Once you've selected that individual, write a letter to them as if you haven't seen them in the past ten years and want to catch them up on everything wonderful that has been going on in your life. Tell them about all the amazing success you've had and all the goals you've accomplished since you last spoke with them.

For example, if you’re hoping to be married with children, write the letter as if you are already married with children and give the names and ages of your children. If you’re hoping to open a business or be financially free, write the letter from the standpoint of those things having already come to pass in your life. You might write about your booming business and describe all the fabulous vacations abroad you've taken!

Not only will this allow you to get in touch with what your goals and dreams are, but by writing them down you are actually increasing the odds that they’ll manifest in your reality! Research has shown time and time again that people who write down their goals are much more likely to achieve them than people who don’t.

If you already have a ten-year plan and know what you hope to achieve in the next ten years, great! You can go ahead and get started on your letter right away. If you’re like me, though, and haven’t put much thought into your five and ten-year plans, you may want to spend some time in meditation or do some journaling to get in touch with your deepest desires and uncover what you hope to see happen over the next several years of your life. Deciding what you want to happen is actually the most difficult part of the exercise. Sitting down and writing it is the fun part!

The key to this exercise is to use as much detail as possible and really get into it. It’s okay if you don’t know all the details of what you want to happen, just allow yourself to have fun with this. Start with what you already know and new ideas will surely come to you once you begin writing. Describe who will be in your life, where you will be living, what sort of career you have, what your financial situation is like, what you do for fun, etc. Be sure to include anything and everything that is important to you!

If the thought of writing this letter seems a bit daunting to you, you’re in good company. This exercise is actually a little frightening to me, because I know how effective this sort of tool is! Anyone who has done any pray rain journaling knows how quickly goals come to pass when you write them down as if they have already happened. Don’t be surprised if in ten years everything you wrote in your letter has come to pass exactly as you said it would. ;)

Keeping a Love Journal

One of my favorite techniques for creating my ideal life and making things happen is keeping an evidence journal (see #7). This is a journal in which you record evidence that whatever it is you are desiring is on its way to you. Not only does this help you keep your thoughts and feelings positive and in a good vibration, but it also speeds up your manifestation because it keeps you focused on what you are trying to create!

I have so much fun keeping evidence journals that awhile back I decided to create an evidence journal with a twist... I started keeping a love journal! Instead of listing all the evidence that a particular goal or thing is on its way to me, I list all the ways I am loved. And let me tell you, I have more love in my life than I ever realized!

To keep a love journal, all you need is a journal, a pen, and the willingness to open yourself up to more love then you ever imagined was possible! Every day at the end of the day, preferably right before going to bed, take out your journal and list 5-10 things that demonstrate how loved you really are. Not only will this show you how much love is already present in your life, but thanks to the law of attraction it will also allow you to start attracting even more love into your life! (Remember, whatever you focus on expands...)

Although you can certainly list ways that you feel loved by your significant other, you also want to focus on other ways you feel loved in general. Have fun with this and really let your imagination run wild with all the various ways you are loved. You can list ways you feel loved by individual people, your pets, random strangers, the Universe, God or your Higher Power, life as a whole, etc.

Some examples might be:

• That person at the bank let me go in front of them today.
• My significant other brought flowers home unexpectedly.
• My dog gave me sloppy kisses at the end of the day.
• I got a raise and promotion at work!

To really amp up your self-love, be sure to list ways you love yourself as well, like:

• I allowed myself to indulge in a warm bubble bath after work.
• I didn't beat myself up for missing my workout this morning.
• I did the mirror exercise every day this week.
(see article here for description of the mirror exercise)

Again, really allow yourself to get creative with all the different ways you are loved. Also, feel free to decorate the cover of your journal if it helps you get in the spirit!

Keep doing this exercise regularly and I think you will be astonished by how loved you really are, no matter what is currently going on in your life!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Take Back the Reins!

It’s official, folks… I’ve been feeling seriously overwhelmed lately, so I’m taking back the reins and taking back control of my life!! Who’s with me?

I started my website back in January and it was the fulfillment of a dream I've had for several years now. I’ve always wanted to have an on-line business where I compile and recommend the best self-help resources I’ve found over the years to create my ideal life. I love self-help books and could honestly spend hours upon hours reading them, and I wanted to create a place where I could share what I've learned with others. So I was super excited when I finally took the plunge and created my site, and even more excited when people really seemed to resonate with what I was doing!

At some point along the way, though, my website has started feeling more like a job than a creative and fun outlet for me. Writing blog posts and publishing my bi-weekly newsletter used to be rewarding and exciting for me, but now they just feel like extra tasks to add to my already lengthy to-do list. I find myself not wanting to get word out about my ebook, even though I know the information it contains can truly change lives and allow others to fulfill their wildest dreams!

As part of my plan to use fall as a time to reconnect with myself and my dreams, I took some time this weekend and curled up with my journal to figure out what’s really going on with me. I made some interesting discoveries, and I think what I discovered may help you, too!

I realized that I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed lately because I’ve lost touch with and control over my vision for my website. Initially I saw my site as a place where I would list products I had discovered along my journey and had received value from. Lately, though, people have been coming out of the woodwork to pitch products and resources they want me to list on my site! And while I am *extremely* grateful and appreciative that people want to be involved with my project and support what I'm doing, I’ve also realized that I’m losing control of what I envisioned for my website in the very beginning. Rather than being able to enjoy my on-line business as a means to explore my passion of self-help and personal growth, I feel like my website has turned into a means for other people to promote their products and put their interests first, while little old me is kind of getting pushed to the side!

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely happy to help others promote their materials (if they are worthwhile), but I don’t want to lose sight of my initial goal for my website. I think that part of what makes my website different than others, and special, is that I've been reading self-help books for years and can spot the real thing a mile away while weeding out the fluff. I don't want to take away the integrity I've been striving so hard to establish on my site.

So, all that to say I’m taking back the reins and I encourage you to do the same!

Are there areas in your life where you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe even burnt out?

Check in with yourself to see if your needs and wants are still getting met, or if you are just existing to make others happy. Are the actions you're carrying out still in-line with the overall vision you have for your life (or your business, your relationship, etc.)? Are you still getting a sense of joy or exhiliration from the activities that used to make you happy? If not, find ways to reconnect with your larger desires and what you're trying to achieve. I'm going to be implementing some new practices with respect to my website that ensure that my needs and wants are still being seen and heard!

A good reminder is what they say on airplanes: Put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child’s oxygen mask! After all, we have to be able to breathe and flourish if we are going to be there to help others breathe and fully flourish.

Using Fall as a Time to Reconnect with Ourselves

I published this article in my last newsletter, but I thought it would be a good post to repeat here. (Be sure to sign up for my newsletter here!)

It’s just recently turned fall where I live (in Washington, DC) and I can definitely say that fall is my favorite time of the year. Time to put away the shorts and tank tops, and get out the jeans, comfy sweaters, and blankets to snuggle under while reading a good book! I love the colors of the changing leaves, the cooler temperatures, and just the overall slower pace of life (maybe that’s just me) as we prepare for winter.

Maybe one of the reasons I like fall so much is because the changing weather is a great excuse for me to stay in, catch up on my reading and to-do lists, and reconnect with my vision for myself and my life. I’d like to invite you to do the same, even it’s not the fall season where you live!

Let’s be honest, any time is a great time to reconnect with ourselves, check in on how we’re doing with our goals, and plot a strategy for the upcoming months before year’s end. Many of you may have set goals that you wanted to accomplish in 2009, and now’s a perfect time to monitor your progress on them and make any adjustments or changes to your goals if needed.

I’m not normally a “set measurable goals” type of person, although I’d like to become one! It's been said that the best goals are the ones that are specific, quantifiable, and measurable, so that you know exactly what you’re going after and will know exactly when you’ve achieved them. Normally I’m more of a “go with the flow” type of person, but I’m going to take some time this fall to come up with some measurable goals that I can go after before year’s end and also in the upcoming year. Heck, maybe I’ll even set goals for my five-year and ten-year plans! It’s never too early (or too late) to come up with a vision for your future and start pursuing it.

It’s also a good idea to periodically check in with yourself and see how you’re doing in the self-care arena. Summer is a time when a lot of people are outdoors all the time and extremely active. It’s easy to neglect ourselves and our bodies during the summer, so the fall is a great time to reconnect with our self-care practices. I’m going to make a firmer commitment to do yoga twice a week, and meditate as often as I can (even just for 5-minute stretches!). Sleep is always important to me, so I want to make sure I’m getting enough every night and on the weekends. What are some self-care practices you can recommit to in the coming months?

I also just signed up for a Conscious Loving & Living retreat with Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks at the beginning of October, which I am super excited about! I’ve been huge fans of theirs for years, and I can’t wait to learn from them first-hand. Personal growth conferences are also really restorative times for me because I get to connect with like-minded people, absorb as much information as possible, and just really get in touch with my authentic self. Are there any vacations you can take or retreats you can attend before winter arrives to help you reconnect with your authentic self?

I know some people don’t particularly like the fall because the leaves are falling off the trees, winter is quickly approaching, and it reminds them more of death or dying than possibility or opportunity. However, for me the fall is a great time to reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our plans for the future, and take some time to be less active and go inward to find out what our latest inner yearnings are. I hope you’ll take some time to really enjoy the changing seasons, no matter where in the world you are!

Self Help Best Practices

I read A LOT of self help books and participate in a ton of self help programs, but trust me when I say it can be overwhelming (not to mention exhausting!) to implement all the advice and suggestions that are out there. Much of the stuff I come across is spot-on and has helped me create really fantastic results in my life. However, some of it is just so-so and hasn’t produced any results for me at all.

In an effort to help you sort through the myriads of self help techniques and information that exist in our world today, I've compiled a list of some my favorite self help practices that I’ve come across over the years (and used successfully). I've featured resources on my website for several of the techniques mentioned below, so if you would like additional resources be sure to click on the pink links!

Here's my list, in no particular order: (drumroll, please!)

1) Pray Rain Journaling: This is a simple, yet highly effective, technique whereby you keep a journal and write in it daily (or as often as you can) as if whatever you are trying to manifest in your life has already come true. The more imagination and details you can use in your journal entries, the better. The story goes that by the time you’ve finished your journal, your manifestation will either have already arrived or be well on its way to doing so! I use this technique in my own life and have created several amazing outcomes with it.

2) The Mirror Exercise: Learn how to love yourself once and for all with this exercise, which even some of the top self help gurus use in their own lives. Look in the mirror every night before bedtime, and flow as much love, acceptance, and compassion to yourself as you can. Also, be sure to acknowledge yourself for all the things you accomplished throughout the day. This may feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward the first few times you try it. Before you know it, though, you will be feeling extra great about yourself!

3) Visualization: I cannot recommend this method highly enough. Use your imagination to create pictures in your mind of what your ideal life looks like, or ideal scenarios you'd like to bring to fruition. Add as much detail to the pictures as you can, just like if you were watching a movie in your mind. Make sure to put yourself in your visualizations, and imagine yourself enjoying the presence of whatever it is you are trying to create. Do this even for just five minutes a day, and you will notice results in no time! For extra power, while doing your visualizations, really feel the feelings in your body that you would be experiencing if your manifestations had already come true.

4) Gratitude Journal: This is a particularly effective strategy to use if you notice yourself feeling like things just aren’t going well for you. Every day, record all the things you are currently grateful for in your life, no matter how large or small. You will be amazed at how much you really do have to be grateful for, even before all your dreams have manifested. You want to also list things you are intending to create in your life, but which haven’t arrived yet. Expressing gratitude for these things in advance, before they make an appearance in your reality, actually speeds up their arrival!

5) Meditation: If you have a particularly busy mind (and really, who doesn’t?), then this technique is a must-do. Even just five minutes of meditation a day can really change your life! Find a quiet spot in your home or office where you will be undisturbed and can have some time to yourself. Bring your focus inward, and take a few deep breaths to relax. Once you feel centered within yourself, bring your attention to your breathing. Just observe your breaths as you inhale in and out. If your mind wanders (which it will), just gently bring your attention back to your breath. Do this regularly and notice how much more calm and relaxed you feel!

6) Positive Aspects Journal: This idea comes from the original law of attraction teachers, Abraham-Hicks. This will help you turn around your thoughts about a “negative” situation or relationship in no time! Simply choose something that is bothering you, let’s say your significant other, and list as many positive aspects about him or her as you can. Only focus on the positive qualities of that individual, not the negative ones. Doing this on a regular basis has turned around many a relationship, and caused people to fall in love with their spouse or partner all over again! You can also use this technique on a particular situation that you feel badly about. List all the benefits you are actually experiencing from the so-called “negative” situation, and before you know it your situation will have completely turned around!

7) Evidence Journal: I love this technique! If there is something specific you are trying to create (a new relationship, new career, weight loss, etc.), it can often be frustrating if it seems like it’s not arriving fast enough. Start keeping an evidence journal, though, and you will notice that whatever it is you desire IS on its way to you, much faster than you realized! Record all the evidence you notice that your dream is coming true and that you are on the right path. Often times we overlook all the evidence that shows us our dream is just around the corner. By focusing on the evidence, not only will we feel better about our situation, but we actually speed up our particular manifestation!

Finally, if you're intrigued by the techniques above and would love to learn even more of my favorite self help practices, be sure to check out my new ebook! My ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life: Everything I've Learned from Reading Hundreds (Maybe Thousands!) of Self Help Books Over the Years, has an abundance of tips, techniques, and resources that will have you leading your ideal life in no time! To read reviews and learn more, go here.

Being Seen for Who You Are

“Your intent should pour out of you. It should emanate from every cell of your being so that you attract the people and circumstances that can support you in manifesting your desires.”
~ Dianne Collins

This is a bit of a follow-up to the last post I wrote, but it’s such an important topic that I figure we can never get enough of it! I’m reading a good book right now called Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships,which came highly recommended by a friend of mine. I’m only about halfway through it, but so far I’ve really resonated with one of the concepts in it: that of being seen, or telling the truth about yourself and who you are.

The premise of the book, at least from what I’ve read so far, is that the lack and emptiness that most of us feel in our lives comes from an absence of being unconditionally loved. Deep down, what we are all craving is a deep sense of unconditional love and acceptance, for being exactly who we are. Problem is, most of us have never experienced this because our society is not really set up this way. Instead, we are usually taught to hide who we really are in order to achieve success as society has determined for us. The author of the book, Greg Baer, says that being seen is one of the ways of finally obtaining this elusive unconditional love that we are all seeking.

Being seen means expressing the truth of who you are, without fear of rejection or concern for what other people will think of you. It means authentically being who you are deep down, even when telling your truth might not be the easiest or most comfortable thing to do. The author says that in order to feel unconditionally loved, you have to express yourself, ALL of yourself, and ultimately be loved and accepted, even for those parts of yourself that may make you seem flawed or less than perfect. His point is that by showing these parts of yourself that you normally don't let others see, there will inevitably be people in your life who will love you, in spite of these "flaws," and then you will not be ashamed of these aspects of yourself anymore. Instead, you will feel unconditionally loved!

I really like the quote at the top of this post because for me it represents what it means to truly be seen and to show yourself to others. Who you are should radiate from you so much that people can get a real sense of you, without even asking! If someone were to meet you and spend just five minutes with you, could they get a good sense of who you are and what you are about? Even if you can't discover specific details about someone in five minutes, you can usually tell if they are happy, angry, friendly, joyful, annoyed, optimistic, hopeful, etc., just by the way they carry themselves. Are you expressing who you truly are on a daily basis?

I know before I started my www.selfhelpgoddess.com website, I was definitely not authentically expressing myself! I was expressing part of who I am, but there was this whole other side of me that I was basically hiding from others. I had never really met others with such a deep interest in personal growth, so I just didn’t bring it up in conversations or share that part of myself with friends.

I took my first step towards really being seen last year when I went to the Breakthrough to Success conference with Jack Canfield. I had no idea what to expect, but I was so surprised when I discovered that there are a TON of other people out there, just like me! It was as if I was coming home. :) I met all these fabulous people who have the same interest in improving themselves, becoming the best they can be, and making all their dreams come true, just like me. Now that I’ve started my website, I get emails almost on a daily basis from others who have been to my site and can relate to my story or resonate with what I’m trying to do. I wish I would have started showing this side of myself sooner!

Of course, you want to be careful in who you choose to start expressing yourself to, especially if you’ve made it a habit of hiding your true self from others your entire life. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with your new openness about who you are. You can start out with baby steps, though, and make larger strides as you go along.

It's also especially important to remember that if you do allow others to begin seeing more of you and they react in a negative way, it's NEVER about you!! It's always about them, period. It's just an indication that they are not entirely comfortable with who they are yet, and are still hiding parts of themselves from others.

Are there areas in your life where you could start allowing others to see more of who you really are?

Loving Yourself: What Does It Mean?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne WilliamsonYou’ve probably heard it before, but it bears repeating here: self-love is the key to everything you could ever possibly want in life. Sounds great, right? But what the heck is self-love and how do you love yourself, especially when we’ve been taught our whole lives that love is for others?

Loving yourself means that you value and appreciate yourself, exactly as you are. It means recognizing that you are worthy of all the good things that life has to offer, just for being you! You are aware of all your strengths and positive aspects, and use them to your advantage. You are also mindful of your weaknesses and flaws, but you treat yourself kindly in spite of them. You realize that these are just qualities that you’re still working on and developing. :)

Above all, to me, loving yourself means expressing yourself, your entire self, authentically and without reserve, whether or not the world around you agrees with you. It means sticking to your path, even if you’re the only one currently on it. It means being the person you know deep down you are meant to be, even if the people around you would rather you be someone else entirely! Sure, there are times when fully expressing yourself is not appropriate to the situation at hand. On the whole, however, I believe it is extremely important to authentically be yourself as much as humanly possible.

Deep down, all of us have these amazing gifts, talents, and passions that we were born with and are meant to bring to the world. In fact, we have actually been given these specific passions and special gifts because we are *supposed* to be expressing them in our lives! So many of us stifle our self-expression, though, and just stick to the daily grind, doing the same thing day in and day out, and then wonder why things aren’t working out for us.

Here are some ways you can start loving yourself more today:

• Indulge in your passions, even if your family and friends don’t understand them or agree with them;

• Find a way to make money doing what you love, so you can ultimately pursue a career that truly gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment;

• Say no to activities that you really don't feel like doing, and instead spend the time at home relaxing or doing something you do feel like doing;

• Stop spending time with people you have nothing in common with, and start cultivating friendships with people you do share comment interests with;

• Surround yourself with friends who not only love and appreciate you as a person, but encourage you to go for your biggest dreams;

• Only entertain romantic relationships in which you are allowed to be the best possible version of yourself and shine your light freely, rather than having to hide who you truly are or play small to accommodate the other person.

These are a just a handful of suggestions to start loving yourself, but even implementing a fraction of any them will bring huge changes to your life! Not to mention, as explained in the above quote from Marianne Williamson, loving yourself and expressing yourself fully actually gives people around you permission to do the same. Rather than a world where everyone tries to play small to fit in and be liked by others, wouldn't the world be a much better place if we were all allowed to shine our light brightly, authentically be who we truly are, and freely use our unique gifts and talents to create lives we are truly passionate about?

I think so! :)

For more self-love tips and resources, be sure to check out the
self-love page of my website.

Telling a New Story

The process of telling a new story is a highly effective technique for creating quick change in your life. In essence, everyone is always telling a story about how their life currently is, i.e. “I’m in a relationship that’s just not working, my friends are all moving away, I don’t really like my job, and overall my life is just okay right now.” Of course, stories can be positive, too! For example, “I absolutely love my life because everything always works out for me, no matter what happens. I’m pursuing my ideal career, and success comes to me at every turn. I’m in a rewarding and fulfilling relationship with my soulmate, and things just keep getting better and better, every single day!”

If your story about your life tends to sound more like the first one described above, have no fear! In order to create better results in your life, it’s as simple as changing your story to reflect one that is more like the second story described above (substituting whatever it is you really want to attract).

In order to change your reality or whatever you are currently experiencing, you need to start telling a new story. Whether you realize it consciously or not, right now you are telling a story of how things *are* in your life. To bring about change, you'll need to start telling a new story about the way you want things to be. Don’t focus on the way things are going now, focus on how you WOULD LIKE your life to be!

Not too long ago I heard about a couple that had won the lottery multiple times. Each time before they won their prize, they had actually been telling anyone who would listen that they had already won the lottery! They would tell the man behind the counter at the gas station, the waitress at their favorite restaurant, etc. Not long after they started doing this, they won the lottery, not once, but twice!

Currently, I am working with a lovely coaching client who is in the process of creating a new living situation because she wants to move out of the home she is living in. I encouraged her to start telling a new story, and actually begin looking at apartments and telling the rental agents she's looking for a new place to live! Even though she’s not quite ready to move just yet, she can still begin attending open houses and speaking to others as if she is currently in the market. Try this out in your own life, and before you know it your new reality will have arrived right before your eyes!

• If you're single, start telling a brand new story about how you're married to your one and only.

• If you're ready for a new job, tell others about how you just landed the career of your dreams.

• If losing weight is your goal, begin telling a new story about how you finally lost those stubborn last ten lbs. and you're feeling better than ever!

Tell this new story about how you want your life to look to anyone who will listen. If you have a friend, family member, or significant other who will play along, tell them your new story about your dream life as if it has *already* happened. If a telemarketer calls, go ahead and tell them your new story! They’ll never know the difference. If you don’t have anyone you trust or feel safe telling your new story to, be sure to at least tell this new story often in your own mind. Take a walk and talk to yourself about how wonderful your life is, how fulfilled you are, how well everything is going, how much money you have, etc.

**If you want to join a small, intimate group of like-minded creators who will be telling their new stories, creating their ideal lives, and having a TON OF FUN, sign up for my 4-week telecourse, which begins Tuesday, September 1. More details here.

Here's to some serious storytelling fun!

Relationships As Mirrors

Have you heard that what you don’t like in others is actually what you don’t like about yourself? Ouch!! I remember when I first read about this several years ago in Debbie Ford's book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams.I was taken aback, but also felt like I had stumbled across something that had huge potential to change my life and my relationships (romantic and otherwise).

When people first hear this, typically their reaction is something along the lines of: “There’s no way that’s possible. I can’t stand that person, so how can it possibly mean I am just like that person?!” If you dig deep enough and really look within yourself, though, eventually you can always see that whatever you are disliking in someone else can also be found somewhere within you. In fact, it is actually a part of yourself that you have disowned or not accepted, maybe years ago without your conscious awareness, and it is now trying to gain your approval and acceptance. Because you have not owned it within yourself, you have projected it onto someone else where it is more “acceptable.”

Here’s how this works: Say you have a boss or colleague at work that is SERIOUSLY getting on your nerves. This is probably not too hard for many of us to imagine! You probably know every last thing about them that annoys you on a regular basis. Instead of letting them get to you and giving them power over you, though, I encourage you to take back power over yourself!

The next time they irritate you, rather than just automatically getting annoyed and muttering to yourself how x, y, or z they are, identify what it is you don’t like about them and turn the mirror to look within yourself. Can you see within yourself that sometimes, in certain situations, you have a tendency to act like they act when they are being especially annoying? Can you think back to an occasion where you exhibited the same sort of behavior that they are currently exhibiting? Even just one time?

Once you’ve found that quality or characteristic within yourself (and it's there!), the next step of the process is to begin accepting yourself, in spite of having that characteristic. Hey, we are all human so there’s no use beating yourself up for it anymore! Begin to accept and own that quality within yourself, regardless of whether or not you think that particular aspect of yourself is a good or bad. Self-love is the name of the game folks, so just make a commitment to owning all the different parts of yourself, no matter what judgments you may have about them! Even if you ultimately want to change that aspect of yourself, you first have to accept it before you can ever truly change it.

What happens next is really amazing! Don’t be surprised if all of a sudden the person disappears from your life completely or just drops the behavior that was bothering you, sometimes instantly. The minute you accept that quality within yourself, either a) it won’t bother you so much in the other person because you realize that you have the same capacity to act in the same way at times or b) they will literally just stop exhibiting the behavior all together or will simply cease to exist in your life! It seems truly magical when this happens, but in fact it’s not magic at all. It's a process that works time and time again if you let it. Sometimes it may take owning and accepting those qualities within yourself a few times before you notice results in the outside world, but stick with it and things *will* change!

I recently read another book that I highly recommend, which reminded me of this “relationships as mirrors” phenomenon: John English's The Little Book on Relationship: How to Guide Your Life With Meaning, Purpose and Power.This book reminded me that using relationships as mirrors is not only helpful in mending relationships with others, but also as a tool for more deeply knowing ourselves. By taking back and owning the various parts of ourselves we have projected onto others through the years, we get to know ourselves as whole and complete human beings who have a variety of qualities that make each of us unique!

This phenomenon also works in reverse, i.e. if we notice positive characteristics in others, we get to take ownership of those as well! For example, say you have a friend or even a public figure that you admire to no end. They are successful, sophisticated, poised, gracious, etc. Guess what? The reason you are so drawn to those specific characteristics in them is because they exist within you!! You admire that person because you know you have the same potential as they do; you just haven't fully tapped into it yet. In the same way as described above, if you notice yourself admiring or praising someone else, shine the mirror within to see where you exhibit those traits as well. Trust me, they're there!

Are You Accountable?

In honor of doing my very first podcast last week (woo hoo!) on the topic of Accountability Partners, I’ve decided to devote this blog to the topic of accountability partnerships and being held accountable for our goals in general. Get more info about the podcast below, which I did with my real-life accountability partner, Ana Ottman, from Creatuitive Coaching.

For starters, do you know what an Accountability Partner is? Have you heard this term before? Basically, just like it sounds, an Accountability Partner is someone who holds you accountable for achieving your goals and dreams! You meet with them regularly (usually weekly or bi-weekly), and they help support you and keep you on track in making progress towards those things you are trying to achieve. You can meet with them in-person, over email, or on the phone, but the key is consistency and meeting with them regularly to keep them updated on your progress.

I know when I was completing my ebook , having an Accountability Partner was a huge reason I finished it when I did! Knowing that I would be meeting with Ana and reporting to her on what I had accomplished since the last time we met was a huge motivating factor for sitting my butt down and finishing my book. It was especially motivating on those days when it was 80 degrees and sunny outside and the last thing I wanted to do was stay inside and type away on my computer! No matter how motivated and excited you may be to accomplish a certain task you’ve set for yourself, I know first-hand how difficult it can be when you're distracted by the TV, your family and friends, the phone, social invitations, the weather, etc., not to mention those pesky little voices that sneak into your head and tell you you're not good enough, you'll never get this done, and on and on and on. Can you relate?

If you don't already have one, having an Accountability Partner could be the step you've been missing all along. Trust me, not wanting to appear "lazy" or "not serious about your goals" in front of another person can be a HUGE motivating factor to take steps you might not normally prioritize high on your to-do list. If you know you're going to be checking in with a partner regularly, there's a very high chance you will take action rather than run the risk of looking bad in front of the other person! Like it or not, winning other peoples' approval is still something most of us continuously strive for.

One of my friends on Twitter, @vibejourney, listened to the podcast and thought that Inspiration or Visionary Partners was a better term for this, and I tend to agree! Although Accountability Partners are in place to hold you accountable for doing what you say you will, I think the best partners are the ones who do so much more. For me, I think it’s also extremely important to find someone who will provide you with support, motivation, inspiration, and guidance, in addition to giving you a gentle but firm nudge if you get off track and need help finding your way back. It can also be helpful, although not necessary, to have a partner who's in a similar field as you so they can give you advice and suggestions based on their own experience. Most importantly, you want to find someone who can serve as a sort of cheerleader for when you finally experience success and your dreams come true! In essence, these individuals are there to inspire you and help you along your journey to creating the vision you have for yourself and your life.

I’m curious, have you used Accountability Partners before and if so, what was your experience like? Also, which term do you like better, Accountability Partners or Inspiration/Visionary Partners? I'd love to hear your responses below!

To hear the podcast and learn more tips about selecting the right person to be your accountability partner, as well as how to address any potential issues that may arise, go here.

Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life

At long last, I'm proud to announce the release of my very first ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life! It has been a dream of mine for several years now to write my own ebook, and I'm extremely happy with the way it turned out. I plan to create more products in the future, but I'm pretty confident that anyone who reads this ebook and implements the suggestions found within can make HUGE strides in making changes in their life and creating their ideal life!

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a huge passion for dreaming big and making all of my wildest dreams come true. I believe that all of us have the capacity to make our dreams come to fruition in our lives, if we implement certain tools and techniques on a consistent basis. You will find these tools and techniques in Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life, and I know that they work because I've used them to create great success in my own life!

After years of reading countless self help and personal growth books, I've implemented a TON of self help tools and techniques in my life. Some have worked with remarkable consistency, others have not worked for me at all. This ebook will tell you about the ones that work, and I've written it in a way that is very easy-to-understand and complete with several real life examples that will really resonate with you. Not to mention, I've actually included space in the ebook to do some of the exercises I've included. This is much more than a regular ebook; it's more like your personal workbook or manual for creating your ideal life!

Here is just a small sampling of what you will learn in this powerful ebook:

Secrets to Creating
Your Ideal Life
1. Learn How to Use the Law of Attraction Effectively to Get Results in Your Life ONCE AND FOR ALL.

2. Discover a Powerful Self-Love Exercise That Even Self-Help Gurus Like Jack Canfield Use in Their Own Lives! (I personally learned this exercise from him.)

3. Be Guided Through an Exercise That Can Help You Win Back a Former Significant Other or Collect a Long-Standing Debt That Is Owed to You.

4. Find Out How to Make Even the “Worst” Situations Work Out to Your Advantage Every Single Time.

5. Get In Touch with Even Your Wildest Dreams, No Matter How Long Ago You May Have Forgotten About Them or Given Up on Them.

6. Learn Fun Tools & Techniques That Even the Most-Respected Authors & Coaches Out There Use In Their Daily Lives to Make Their Dreams Come True.

7. Prepare for Your Success In Advance So That It’s a Given.

8. Finally Be Happy, No Matter What Is Going On in Your Life.

9. Uncover Several More "Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life."

*To see the complete Table of Contents right-click here and select 'Open.'

As you can see, I have included a lot of valuable information!! I am truly passionate about helping others create their ideal lives and am committed to sharing the knowledge I have learned over the years with as many people as possible. Everyone should have access to this information!

For more information (including my personal story) or to purchase your copy of this ebook and start living out the life of your dreams, go here now.

Aren't you ready to start jumping out of bed every morning with a sense of fulfillment and excitement about the day ahead?

I know I was! :-)

Patience is a Virtue

If you’ve checked here in the past few weeks hoping to see a new blog post, you’ve surely been disappointed! I normally try to write two new posts a week, but in addition to coming down with a bad cold I’ve also been super busy finishing my first ebook. (Be sure to check back next week to get your copy!)

As I’ve been putting the finishing touches on my ebook, I’ve been reflecting over the journey that has led me to this point. I’ve wanted to launch my website and create an ebook for a few years now, but my website just came into being this past January and my ebook is just now coming to fruition. I remember beating myself up last year because deep down I knew that I wanted to have a website, but I just couldn’t get my butt up off the couch to do anything about it! Even though I knew what I wanted to do, I just couldn’t make it happen.

As everything has come together, though, I see that it has all come together perfectly in its own timing. If I had started my website a few years ago when I initially wanted to, I wouldn’t have had the resources or the knowledge that I do now that has helped it be successful. People I’ve just recently met in the past year have been really instrumental in helping me create my website.

Have you noticed this in your life? It can be easy to beat ourselves up when things don’t seem to be going the way we want them to. Say you’re interviewing for a new job, but the job you’re dying for was just offered to someone else. Or you’re in the market for a new home, but the offer you just made on what you thought was your dream home was completely turned down without even a counter-offer!

Our natural reaction is to get frustrated when this happens, but if you look carefully at your life you’ll see that usually these things lead to even better things in the future. Like you’re eventually offered an even better job than the one that you were initially hoping for, or you end up with a new home that has even more of the qualities you were looking for. Oprah’s life coach, Martha Beck, says to look back at all the “negative” things that have happened to you in your life and find a way that each of those things actually led to a great thing that happened in your life. That’s pretty powerful!

Sometimes being patient and just letting things unfold naturally can be a good thing. I’m not recommending not taking action towards your goals and just expecting everything to show up on your doorstep. But if you’ve done everything you can do and things don’t seem to be panning out right now, try taking that as a sign that the timing is not quite right yet. The Universe sees the bigger picture and will deliver your desires to you at exactly the right moment, no sooner and no later. You can rest assured that when the timing is right for your desire to be delivered, it will be.

Part Four: Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

Here we are at week four of the Wreck This Journal adventure! (To see my previous entries, go here for week one, here for week two, and here for week three.)

My main activity for this week was taking my book in the shower with me (pictures coming soon). At this point, I’ve already done so much to “wreck” my journal that it’s starting to feel pretty normal to me! In fact, after I had taken the book in the shower with me I decided I had done such a good job with that “task” that I may as well take things to the next level and submerge the book in a bathtub full of water!! I'm wondering if the book will be dried out enough next week to do any more wrecking in it... ;)

What’s really interesting to me about this whole experience, though, is the connection I’ve found between wrecking the journal and being a lot cleaner than normal in my living space. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this past week, trying to figure out if there’s an explanation for it, and I think I’ve figured it out!

Because I’ve been allowing myself to express my creativity through wrecking my journal, I haven’t felt the need to ‘express my creativity’ in my home. I’ve been making a mess in my journal, and therefore haven’t needed to make a mess in my condo.

Wrecking my journal throughout this experience has given me “permission” to do things I normally wouldn’t do, like rip and burn pages, smear condiments on the pages, and write various things all over the pages. Normally I treat books with so much reverence that doing these things to a precious book is just unheard of! Throughout this experience, however, I’ve been allowing myself to break out of my shell and bust through the walls of perfectionism that are usually held around me very firmly in place.

I think that by me leaving clothes and dishes lying everywhere around my condo (my normal routine) I am in a sense “rebelling” and showing the world that I don’t have to abide by the rules of keeping a clean house. I'm saying, “It’s socially acceptable to pick your clothes up off the floor and put the dishes in the dishwasher, but watch this! I’m going to leave clothes and dishes scattered all over the floor, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!” I didn’t rebel much as a teenager, well not at all really, so I think this is my subtle form of rebellion.

Since I’m enjoying having a clean place to live in and would like to keep it that way from now on, I’ve learned that I need some sort of creative outlet where I can regularly express myself however I want to. In essence, allow myself to make a mess so that I don’t feel the need to make a mess in my living space!

Some ideas I came up with to start doing on a regular basis:

• Finger painting
• Playing with food
• Rolling around in the mud (not sure I really want to do this!)

Any others?

I’m curious, has anyone else noticed that they’ve been more clean and tidy than normal while doing this experience?