Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Being Seen for Who You Are
“Your intent should pour out of you. It should emanate from every cell of your being so that you attract the people and circumstances that can support you in manifesting your desires.”
~ Dianne Collins
This is a bit of a follow-up to the last post I wrote, but it’s such an important topic that I figure we can never get enough of it! I’m reading a good book right now called Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships,which came highly recommended by a friend of mine. I’m only about halfway through it, but so far I’ve really resonated with one of the concepts in it: that of being seen, or telling the truth about yourself and who you are.
The premise of the book, at least from what I’ve read so far, is that the lack and emptiness that most of us feel in our lives comes from an absence of being unconditionally loved. Deep down, what we are all craving is a deep sense of unconditional love and acceptance, for being exactly who we are. Problem is, most of us have never experienced this because our society is not really set up this way. Instead, we are usually taught to hide who we really are in order to achieve success as society has determined for us. The author of the book, Greg Baer, says that being seen is one of the ways of finally obtaining this elusive unconditional love that we are all seeking.
Being seen means expressing the truth of who you are, without fear of rejection or concern for what other people will think of you. It means authentically being who you are deep down, even when telling your truth might not be the easiest or most comfortable thing to do. The author says that in order to feel unconditionally loved, you have to express yourself, ALL of yourself, and ultimately be loved and accepted, even for those parts of yourself that may make you seem flawed or less than perfect. His point is that by showing these parts of yourself that you normally don't let others see, there will inevitably be people in your life who will love you, in spite of these "flaws," and then you will not be ashamed of these aspects of yourself anymore. Instead, you will feel unconditionally loved!
I really like the quote at the top of this post because for me it represents what it means to truly be seen and to show yourself to others. Who you are should radiate from you so much that people can get a real sense of you, without even asking! If someone were to meet you and spend just five minutes with you, could they get a good sense of who you are and what you are about? Even if you can't discover specific details about someone in five minutes, you can usually tell if they are happy, angry, friendly, joyful, annoyed, optimistic, hopeful, etc., just by the way they carry themselves. Are you expressing who you truly are on a daily basis?
I know before I started my www.selfhelpgoddess.com website, I was definitely not authentically expressing myself! I was expressing part of who I am, but there was this whole other side of me that I was basically hiding from others. I had never really met others with such a deep interest in personal growth, so I just didn’t bring it up in conversations or share that part of myself with friends.
I took my first step towards really being seen last year when I went to the Breakthrough to Success conference with Jack Canfield. I had no idea what to expect, but I was so surprised when I discovered that there are a TON of other people out there, just like me! It was as if I was coming home. :) I met all these fabulous people who have the same interest in improving themselves, becoming the best they can be, and making all their dreams come true, just like me. Now that I’ve started my website, I get emails almost on a daily basis from others who have been to my site and can relate to my story or resonate with what I’m trying to do. I wish I would have started showing this side of myself sooner!
Of course, you want to be careful in who you choose to start expressing yourself to, especially if you’ve made it a habit of hiding your true self from others your entire life. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with your new openness about who you are. You can start out with baby steps, though, and make larger strides as you go along.
It's also especially important to remember that if you do allow others to begin seeing more of you and they react in a negative way, it's NEVER about you!! It's always about them, period. It's just an indication that they are not entirely comfortable with who they are yet, and are still hiding parts of themselves from others.
Are there areas in your life where you could start allowing others to see more of who you really are?