Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend! Here in the US it was Memorial Day on Monday, and most of us had the day off work and an extra long weekend. I hope you took advantage of it!
As for me, I was grateful for the beautiful weather we had here in Washington, DC and spent a lot of time in a park I recently discovered near my home. It’s a wide open park surrounded by gorgeous trees, as well as a lovely running creek which I was fortunate enough to stumble upon when I was too hot and needed to find a place to sit in the shade!
I took a seat on the edge of the creek and watched as the water flowed effortlessly downstream. Even if there were rocks and sticks in the creek, the water continued flowing downstream and didn’t let anything stand in its way. While I sat there and listened to the water all around me, I was reminded of the flow of abundance that always surrounds us in life. Just like with the creek, it is always there and always flowing towards us. However, it is up to us to actually step into the flow and allow all that abundance, love, and prosperity to come into our lives.
I just finished reading the ebook Get the Money! Get the Money! Get the Money! by Tom and Penelope Pauley, and they also talk extensively about the endless flow of abundance that is always present in our lives. They describe a visualization exercise where you actually visualize yourself in a river or similar body of water, and let the water surround your body and fill you up as if it were eternal abundance. I tried doing this visualization while I was sitting on the edge of the creek, and it was actually more difficult than it seems!
(Try this exercise for yourself right now: visualize the picture of the creek at the top of this page as never-ending abundance and love that is flowing into your life and into your chest or heart. It will never, ever stop and just keeps flowing into your life and surrounding you from head to toe. Can you keep yourself open to all this love and abundance, or does it feel uncomfortable like it did for me?)
The truth is, we all have the potential to create endless abundance and miracles in our lives on a daily basis. Yes, it’s true! Unfortunately, most of us have been trained since very early on in our lives that life is difficult, is meant to be a struggle, and that miracles don’t really happen very often, if at all. We are conditioned to believe that things don’t come easy, that we have to work really hard to (maybe) make things work in our life, and that abundance usually appears as a sporadic trickle rather than an endless stream.
Think about it. If someone came up to you out of the blue on the street and offered you your dream job, no strings attached, would you actually take it?? Some would, most people would not! They would think, there’s gotta be a catch because this is too good be true. What if someone offered you a $50.00 bill just for being you? Would you take it? Finally, what if someone walked up to you tomorrow at Starbucks and told you were the most beautiful man or woman they had ever seen in their entire life? Would you accept the compliment graciously, or think they were crazy and try to get away from them as quickly as possible?
If you're familiar with the law of attraction, Abraham-Hicks says that all the desires we want to manifest in our lives are downstream (as opposed to upstream). They tell us to metaphorically take our oars out of the water, drop all struggle, and go with the flow, thus allowing all of our wants and dreams to come to us naturally and effortlessly. Can you imagine how easy life would be (not to mention fun!) if all we had to do was stop struggling to achieve what we want, and just open ourselves up to receiving those things? That's how life can work, if we let it!
Life is meant to be easy. Even the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be answered." (Matthew 7:7) Some people don’t seem to like easy, though. It makes them uncomfortable and they would prefer familiar struggle and challenges to unfamiliar ease and comfort. I actually know quite a few people who have had the same jobs since they graduated college and don’t particularly care for them. They stick with them, though, because it’s familiar and it’s what they know!
Always remember that abundance, love, prosperity, and anything else you may possibly want in your life are available to you now, right this very second. The only thing required is for you to let your guard down, open the gates, and let all that abundance and love in!
Are you open to receiving?
UPDATED: If you're looking to practice your receiving muscles and allow more wealth and abundance into your life, check out the upcoming Wealth Consciousness Boot Camp from Elizabeth Grant and Cindy Ashton. It starts June 1st, so you'll want to get in on the action quickly! I LOVE Elizabeth's daily Quantum Power Sessions and listen to them every morning. Be sure to check out this life-changing course if you want to change your relationship to money permanently!! It really works:)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I published the article below in my latest newsletter and thought it was a good article to repeat here. I don't normally repeat articles, but I think the message of having fun is a critical one that is often overlooked when we are trying to create our ideal lives. Enjoy!
(If you'd like to sign up for my free bi-monthly newsletter, sign up in the pink box to the left of this page).
As I was trying to think about what to write in this week’s newsletter, I decided that instead of writing an in-depth article about how to improve your life, I would write about having fun! Memorial Day is coming up on May 25 here in the US, and most of us have the day off work and a three-day weekend. What a perfect opportunity to take a break, kick back, and have some good old-fashioned fun!
I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t always have as much fun as I could. I’m so committed to creating my ideal life and what that means for me, that I tend to feel guilty if I’m not constantly learning new things and finding ways to apply that my life. It’s hard for me to truly let go and just have fun!
Having fun, though, is often what’s missing when we’re trying to create our dream lives and things just don’t seem to be falling into place. Sometimes we push and push, and do more and more, and just do anything we can to try to create better results in our life. We figure that if we just work harder and take more action that eventually things will fall into place. Sometimes, however, all this pushing is actually what is holding us back!
Taking action towards our goals definitely has its place and its benefits, but too much struggle and not enough fun will leave you tired, exhausted, and maybe even depressed. At a certain point you may get frustrated from working so much and just give up on your goals entirely! Action is good, but you definitely want to create room in your life for fun so you avoid burnout.
Not to mention, if you are a follower of the law of attraction you know that your thoughts and feelings are creating your future. Therefore, if you’re feeling exhausted and worn out from doing too much now, that will just lead to more feelings of exhaustion in the future. However, having fun and creating good feelings now means more fun and more good feelings in the future!
After all, life is meant to be enjoyed! Be silly and act like a five-year old if that makes you feel better. Run through a lawn sprinkler and get your hair wet. Play with a pet in the grass and just let yourself enjoy the moment. Even if there are things you would love to change about your life, you still want to practice being grateful for where you’re at now, making peace with what it is, and at times letting loose and just having fun!
If you need suggestions on how to have fun, just observe young children. They can have fun just by playing with a piece of paper! They are always in a constant state of fun and enjoying life, and we would be wise to follow their lead more often.
I hope you will take time this weekend to really let yourself have some well-deserved fun. :-)
If your idea of fun consists of reading, or if you’re just looking for some good recommendations for reading over Memorial Day weekend, check out my previous blog post titled, “My Reading List”. I give reviews of the current books I’m reading, as well as a list of what’s coming next up on my reading list! Lots of good book recommendations in a variety of areas (relationships, finances, home, etc.)
COMING SOON: Also, if you’d love to be able read all the latest self help books but just don’t have the time, you’ll want to stay tuned for my upcoming ebook! I will be releasing my first ebook VERY SOON, and it will focus on what I have learned about creating your ideal from reading hundreds (maybe thousands!) of self help books over the years. I've already read all these books, so you don't have to! I’m basically doing all the work for you. ;) Stay tuned for more details.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Have you been wondering what the Self Help Goddess is reading? Several of my followers on Twitter ask me regularly what I’m reading, so I’ve decided to start making my reading list available here on my blog from time to time. I will let you know what I’m currently reading (usually a mix of about 5-6 books at a time!), my reviews of what I’m reading, and what’s coming up next on my reading list.
I read a TON of self help books because that is my true passion, and one of the ways I love spending my free time. If books are particularly helpful to me or have brought me significant insights or results in my life, they are then added to my website.
So, without further ado, here is my current reading list! Drumroll, please… :-)
1) Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together, by Kathryn Alice.
I had not heard of this book until recently, but I’m so glad I stumbled upon it! Kathryn is a spiritual teacher at the Agape Church in LA, run by Michael Bernard Beckwith, and approaches the topic of finding your soulmate as if it is a given for everyone. This book contains 9 love magnets to implement that will help you attract your soulmate to you (by doing things like releasing old relationships, making a soul call to your future partner, etc.). What I particularly liked about this book was the way it seems to change your beliefs about relationships, even without you consciously realizing it! No matter what type of relationship history you've had, this book will make you feel like your soulmate is just around the corner and that they will be even more amazing than you ever expected.
2) Get the Money! Get the Money! Get the Money!, ebook by Tom and Penelope Pauley.
I've been wanting to purchase this ebook for literally years now, but for some reason just felt the inspiration last week. I'm glad I finally took the plunge! This ebook is actually a transcription of a four-hour call Tom and Penelope did on various techniques for attracting money into your life quickly and easily. This definitely has a spiritual bent to it, and focuses mainly on attracting money to you through spiritual means (ex. visualization) as opposed to "real-world" techniques. The main point of this ebook which really stuck with me is that in order to attract more wealth into our lives, or anything for that matter, we have to be open to receiving it! Easier said than done. ;)
3) Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life : How to Use Feng Shui to Get Love, Money, Respect and Happiness, by Karen Rauch Carter.
I’ve always heard about the benefits of Feng Shui, but have never used it in my life. I picked up this book because the reviews said it was not only informative, but also a lot of fun… and I agree! I haven’t even gotten to the end of this book and I’ve already noticed results. The chapter on creating more prosperity in your life mentioned putting a large chunk of purple amethyst (crystal) in the prosperity corner of your home. The other day I came across such a crsytal in a store and decided to purchase it for my prosperity corner. The amethyst started working the minute I purchased it, because when I took it up to the counter to pay for it the shop owner immediately decided the price was too high and he knocked the price down by $12.00! Now I'm convinced that Feng Shui principles work and I'm focused on getting the rest of the corners in my home lined up properly.
4) Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity, by Stacey Hall and Jan Brogniez.
I’ve had this book on my bookshelf for awhile now, but was just inspired to pick it up and read it through to the end (I read a few chapters several months ago). When I first started reading it I hadn’t yet started the SelfHelpGoddess website, but now I am reading it from a new perspective and I LOVE IT! It talks about discovering your purpose or mission for running a business or website, and determining who is your perfect customer or client that you are trying to attract to your business. The authors talk about creating a Strategic Attraction Plan, which serves as a sort of blueprint for attracting your perfect customer. The principles of this book are based on the law of attraction, but this is an inspirational and informative business book that all business owners can get into (not just spiritual-based entrepreneurs).
5) Hip Tranquil Chick: A Guide to Life On and Off the Yoga Mat, by Kimberly Wilson.
OK, so technically I've already read through this book a few times, but right now I'm using it as sort of a reference book to keep me on track! I keep it by my bedside and refer back to it every couple days or so because it is just such a fun read, not to mention it is packed with great information. This book is a sort of "lifestyle guide" for being a hip, tranquil chick in today's busy and modern society. It has chapters on creating a consistent yoga practice, pursuing your dream career, keeping your finances on-track, maintaining a self-care practice, and managing a busy social life, among others. I know Kimberly personally and she definitely embodies the modern hip, tranquil chick! This is a book you will love so much you will keep referring back to it for inspiration, as I do.
As you can see, I read books and ebooks on a variety of subjects! Basically, I read anything I can get my hands on that has to do with creating your ideal life, in all different areas (love, money, home, business, etc.). I believe that we all have the right and potential to be living our ideal lives on a daily basis, and I love finding those resources that bring us all one step closer to our dream lives!
Up next on my reading list:
1) Making Room for Mr. Right: How to Attract the Love of Your Life, by Robin and Michael Mastro.
2) The Power of Focus: What the Worlds Greatest Achievers Know about The Secret of Financial Freedom and Success, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Les Hewitt.
3) Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life, by Gary Chapman.
4) How to Attain Your Desires by Letting Your Subconscious Mind Work for You Vol.1, by Joe Vitale and Genevieve Behrend.
5) Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand: (. . . When you learn that it is better to receive than to give) The Superwoman's Practical Guide to Getting as Much as She Gives, by Laura Doyle.
What about you? What are you currently reading? I’d love to hear any suggestions you have for future books I can add to my list, or any comments you have about the above selections!
COMING SOON: If you'd love to know what all the above books say, but simply don't have the time to read them all... keep your eyes peeled on this space! I'm going to be releasing my first ebook VERY SOON, which will be all about creating your ideal life using the knowledge I have gained over the years from reading hundreds (maybe thousands!) of self help books. If this is your thing, you will not want to miss out! I'm doing all the work for you. ;)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
“What true patience is, is knowing that you want it and knowing that it's coming and actually enjoying the unfolding along the way. Understand that you never get it done. So you might as well be patient. You never get it done, because every time you want and receive, you also receive a new perspective from which to want. Life is a constant unfolding of new desires and then a constant alignment to those desires.” ~ Abraham-Hicks
The above quote was one of the daily quotes I received this week from Abraham-Hicks. For anyone who is familiar with the law of attraction or simply curious about what it is, I highly recommend signing up for these daily quotes! They always help me start my day off with the right mindset.
This quote in particular really resonated with me because there’s quite a difference between knowing about the law of attraction, and actually practicing it day in and day out. It’s one thing to know the steps of the law of attraction: you decide what you want, you ask for it by feeling your desire for it, and then you let go of it and allow the Universe to deliver it to you in the best way possible, much like you would place an order for your favorite meal in a restaurant! It takes a much deeper level of commitment, however, to consciously practice the law of attraction and use to create the results you want.
In order for the law of attraction to work, you have to feel the way NOW that you will feel once you have whatever it is you want (the new job, the new relationship, the new home, the hot body, etc.). You decide what you want, and then start thinking and feeling as if that thing was already in your life. Trust me, this is easier said than done! Especially if you look around and see no evidence whatsoever of what you’re trying to attract. But if you want to use the law of attraction consciously to create your ideal life, this is our job!
For many of us, when we think we’re focused on something, we’re actually focused on the lack of it. We might be thinking about money, for example, but we’re thinking about how we don’t have as much as we would like! When you think about money, are you basking in the feelings of having a million dollars or worrying about how you’re going to pay your rent this month? It doesn’t count if you think to yourself, “I’d really love to have more money,” and then your next thought is something along the lines of “I really hope they don’t turn off my electricity!”
The quote at the top of the page helped me realize how much time I spend in the feelings of “asking” for something, but not enough time in those feelings of receiving that thing into my life. Asking the Universe is easy, because all it requires is for you to notice something you want and feel a yearning or desire for it. Once you’ve expressed a desire, the Universe hears your request and immediately gets to work preparing whatever you’ve asked for. Our job then is to forget about it, know that it’s on its way, and enjoy our life as much as possible while we wait for that thing to arrive into our life! What usually happens, though, is the majority of us (myself included) have a hard time letting go and forgetting about it. Instead, we constantly wonder when that thing will arrive and ask what’s taking so darn long!
It’s the difference between wanting and having something. I was at a conference with Jack Canfield last year and he asked the question: “Would you rather want something, or actually have it?” You’d rather have it, of course! However, sometimes we get stuck in the feeling of wanting it (or not having it), which just leads to more of the same, i.e. not having what you really want.
Our job as deliberate creators is to feel things into existence in our lives. If we can feel it now, it has to come into our lives. It has to, because that’s what the law of attraction says… and it is law! Decide upon something you want to create in your life, get into the feeling place NOW of what it would be like to already have that thing in your life, and feel that way as often as possible. Especially when you start to notice you’re getting frustrated that it hasn’t arrived yet, immediately shift your focus and start feeling the way it will feel to have it!
What does this look like? For example, if you just started a coaching practice and are hoping to attract an abundance of new clients, your focus may be on the fact that your phone isn’t ringing and you have no new clients or leads on the horizon. If that’s the case, shift your focus to thinking and feeling what it would be like to have your phone ringing off the hook with new clients wanting to hire you, checking your inbox and seeing tons of emails from potential new clients, and even imagine a conversation with a friend about how well your coaching practice is going and how much fun you are having with it! This will feel extremely strange at first, you may even feel like you’re “lying”. But if you keep at this, you will soon start to see changes in your situation and then you will want to keep doing it!
So here’s your recipe for success: Ask for your desire, know that it’s on its way, and enjoy the ride! Whatever you’ve asked for will be here before you know it. You will have been having so much fun in the meantime, though, you won’t even notice you missed it!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I read a TON of books on creating your ideal life and manifesting your desires. In fact, that’s the whole reason I started my website, so I could track down the best resources to help myself and others create our ideal lives! There comes a time, though, when you’ve got to stop just dreaming about making things happen and actually start taking action. Many of us fantasize about creating change in our lives and improving our circumstances, but are you really ready for success?
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who constantly complain about the way things are going in their life, but never take action or do anything about it. Trust me, things aren’t just going to fall from the sky! There is, however, a tool you can use to speed up your manifestations and increase the chances of success happening in your life. That tool is preparing for your success, even before it gets here.
By preparing yourself in advance for what you want to happen, you are sending a signal to both yourself and the Universe that you are ready for changes in your life and that you are confident they are on their way. This actually paves the way for good things to happen and increases their likelihood of showing up. Rather than just going through life haphazardly and hoping you achieve what you want, you can actually plan for your success and increase the odds of it happening. Sometimes just taking little action steps in advance opens the door for bigger things to come your way.
I’ve read in several books on relationships that if you’re single and want to attract a new relationship, you should clean out your closet and empty drawers in order to make space for a partner in your home. Feng Shui experts tell you to make sure you have a night stand on both sides of your bed, not just your side of the bed. These actions may seem strange if you don’t currently have a significant other, but by taking these actions you are increasing the chances that a partner will soon show up. This is because you are taking concrete action to express your commitment to having a new relationship in your life.
If you’re hoping to attract a new job, do you have a suit all ready to wear when you land an interview for your dream job? Is it dry-cleaned and at the front of your closet, so you can easily access it when the time comes for your interview? I remember a few years back I was in a job that I didn’t particularly care for. I knew that eventually I wanted to start looking for a new job, but I wasn’t quite ready to start reading job openings and sending out my resume. One day, however, I was shopping for clothes and came across a really nice suit that was perfect for interviews. I knew I didn’t plan to go on interviews for a few months and I already had a suit at home I could wear, but I decided to go ahead and purchase the suit anyway in order to pave the way for upcoming interviews. Not long after, I quit my job that I didn’t like and started applying for new jobs. Right away I was called for two interviews, and of course I wore my new suit. I received offers for both positions, and the job I ended up taking was actually offered to me on the spot!
I only started my website a few months ago, but it’s already taken off much faster than I ever imagined it would! I didn’t expect to have so many newsletter subscribers so soon, or to have so many people reading my blog (thank you!!). Recently I’ve put some time management systems in place to better prepare for the future, so I can keep up with regularly publishing my newsletter and posting to this blog.
The key is to prepare for your success now as if it is already a given, rather than waiting to see if your success arrives and dealing with it then. Not only do you increase your chances of success by preparing for it beforehand, but you insure that you’ll be equipped to handle it if and when it does arrive! I have a friend who is self-publishing a book and was only going to print 100 copies or so and see how that went. I told her she would be better printing off more than that, because 100 copies goes fast once you factor in all your family and friends who will buy copies. She shouldn’t publish more than she can afford, but I told her to stretch herself a little further than she normally would and plan to sell 200 books instead of 100!
Take a look at your list of goals and see if there are concrete ways you can prepare for your success now. If you’re hoping to attract more money, do you have bank accounts and financial advisors in place to help you deal with your money? If you’re hoping to lose a significant amount of weight, do you have a few clothing items you will be able to wear when you drop the weight without having to go shopping? By taking steps and putting these things into place now, you are sending a strong signal to both yourself and the world around you that you are indeed ready for success.
Once you do that, your success is virtually guaranteed!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
On Sunday night I listened to a Breakthrough to Wealth class with Denise Coates, one of my favorite law of attraction coaches. Denise has recently started teaching this class every Sunday night, and I had been wanting to participate for awhile. I’m so glad I did! Keep reading to find out some of the wealth creation tips I learned.
During the class, Denise worked one-on-one with two people and I volunteered to be one of the lucky two. Before doing an intuitive reading on my money situation (which was spot-on, by the way!), Denise asked me two questions. I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you the same two questions:
1) What is your ultimate dream or goal with respect to money?
2) What do you think is holding you back from achieving that?
The first step in creating anything we want in life is to decide exactly what we want and be able to describe that in detail. Saying that you want a lot of money just won’t cut it! Exactly how much money do you want? Once you have this money, what will you do with it? What sort of lifestyle will you be leading? Don’t just say you’ll be leading a wealthy lifestyle. Actually take some time to get in touch with the way you'll be living once you achieve your money goals. What sort of vacations will you take? Which hotels will you stay in? Will you buy your clothes in fancier stores, or shop at the same stores as you do now? Really take some time to figure out what your life will be like once you’ve started attracting more money.
After deciding what your financial dreams consist of, see if you can uncover anything that may be preventing you from achieving the wealth you would like. Do you blame it on the economy? Or maybe you think that if only your boss would give you that raise you’ve been wanting, then you would finally have more money! Perhaps you think that you can't make any more money until the stock market rebounds and your investments go back up. It’s easy to blame outside circumstances for our lack of money, especially in today’s economy, but if you’re reading this blog you probably know that it goes a little deeper than that. :-)
If we’re not achieving our money goals, or anything for that matter, it is usually because we are holding some limiting beliefs that are getting in our way. Sure, almost everyone says they would love to have more money, but it's possible you made some decisions about money a long time ago that are keeping you from creating abundance today. For example, another woman on the call the other night said that she wanted more money to be able to pay her school tuition, but was worried that her family wouldn’t like her if she had a lot of money. I’m sure a lot of people have this problem! Deep down you may have a hidden fear that others will not like you if you have a ton of money. Therefore, in order to keep your friends and family close, you find ways to keep money away from you (even if it's all subconscious). If you believe that others will leave you if you start to have too much money, it’s very possible that you will choose your family over having more money!
Some other common limiting beliefs with respect to money are:
-Money is bad.
-Rich people are greedy.
-I don’t deserve to have a lot of money.
-I’m not smart enough to have a lot of money.
-Making money is hard and requires a lot of work.
Do any of those ring true for you? The list could go on and on and is unique to every individual. For example, do you believe that making a lot of money requires hard work? I used to believe this, but it's just not true in today’s society! There are a TON of Internet millionaires out there today who make money while they take extra long vacations. If your money situation isn’t where you’d like it to be, take some time to figure out if there are any limiting beliefs standing in your way.
Once you’ve cleared out any negative beliefs, always bring your attention back to what you are trying to create. In fact, the more time you can spend focusing on what you want (even if it’s not here yet), the better! One of my favorite products for doing this with respect to money is The Vibrational Millionaire program from Denise Coates, which goes along well with the Breakthrough to Wealth Class I mentioned above. The Vibrational Millionaire program is a series of audios you listen to daily in order to get into the feeling place of being a millionaire and having all the money you need. There are also written reports to help you think and feel as if you have all the prosperity in the world. Remember, as you think and you feel, you create! Therefore, the more time you spend visualizing what it is like to have endless abundance, the more likely it is that it will come to pass. I like this product so much I wrote a review of it on my site, if you're interested.
Another thing I learned about money recently is to treat your relationship with money as if it were a relationship with a real person. Obviously this requires a little imagination on your part, but if money were an actual person, would it like the way you treat it? Do you get upset with it when there’s not enough, or neglect it by not depositing it in the bank? Do you forget to keep track of it and spend way more than you have? If money were a person, they probably wouldn't be feeling the love! On the flipside, those who have a positive relationship with money feel thankful for their money every time they sit down to pay their bills, keep track of their money and stick to a budget, and always have faith that more money is on its way, i.e. they treat their money with a little more respect! I'll go into more detail about this in another blog posting, but it's something interesting to start thinking about now. :-)
Sending you all thoughts of wealth and abundance!
Friday, May 1, 2009
I continue to be amazed that my article entitled “A Powerful Self-Love Exercise!” is getting so many hits on www.ezines.com. I published it awhile back along with some other articles not related to self-love, and to this day it still receives five to ten times more hits than the other articles I published! The message is clear: with today’s economic uncertainty, people are relying more and more on the power of love to survive these tough times.
Here’s another powerful love exercise for you, although this one is more focused upon loving others. Don’t be fooled, though. You will be sending love to others as part of this exercise, but the rewards you will receive personally will be tenfold! Remember, whatever you send out into the Universe always comes back to you times ten (money, love, kindness, etc.).
Think of a situation that is troubling you right now, that involves other people in some way. Maybe you’re trying to win back a former significant other, or trying to collect on a debt that is long overdue to you, or trying to get along with a neighbor who seems intent on making your life as difficult as possible. Once you’ve selected the situation you’d like to improve and the specific person (or people), take a seat somewhere and spend a few minutes getting comfortable and relaxing. You’ll want to do this exercise alone and without distractions, so make sure you’ve chosen a quiet spot. Inhale a few deep breaths, tune out the world around you, and spend a few minutes in silence focusing on your breath.
Once you’ve relaxed and have taken your mind off the outside world, picture the person who is giving you a hard time and visualize them sitting in a chair on an empty theatre stage. (It could be a group of people if that works better for your scenario). When you see the person sitting on stage and can really see the image clearly, add yourself to the picture and watch yourself walk up to the person. You are both on the stage, about to have a conversation with each other. Actually, you will be doing most of the talking in the conversation while the other person will be listening to you.
OK, here’s the good part! You are going to visualize a conversation between the two of you, where you discuss the situation you are experiencing with them, but you are NOT going to express your anger, frustration, etc. to this person. Instead, you are only going to express LOVE to them. Up until now, you have probably been flowing “negative” feelings to this person, like fear, anger, sadness, etc., and no matter justified your feelings may be, they are not helping the situation. However, flowing love to someone (even if you are absolutely convinced they don’t deserve it!) can shift even the most painful and difficult of situations. Ultimately this exercise is for your benefit and so that you will feel better, so focus on creating more happiness within yourself rather than focusing on whether or not the other person actually deserves love. The point of this exercise is to change the way you think about this person and the feelings you flow towards them, because the way you think and act about someone influences the way they think about and act towards you.
So imagine a conversation between the two of you about the problem at hand, and express love to the other person in the words you speak, the gestures you make towards them, even the way you look at them. This may be extremely difficult depending on the circumstances of your situation, but do whatever you can to get into a place of being able to flow love towards this person. Remember, you are using your imagination here so can act loving towards them even if it seems impossible to do in real life! If it helps you, imagine flowing pink or golden light to this other person to really surround them in a feeling of love.
Here’s an example: Say you’re trying to collect money that someone borrowed from you a long time ago. You’ve asked them several times for the money back, but haven’t received a dime. When you think of them your thoughts are probably filled with anger or being taken advantage of, but you’re going to shift that to love with this exercise. So picture you and this person who owes you money sitting on the stage, and visualize a conversation between the two of you. You could be saying things to the other person like, “I just wanted to check in with you regarding the money you owe me. I know times are really tough right now and I understand that you are going through financial difficulties in your family. I’m so glad I was able to help you out and loan you the money you needed. I hope you were able to use it for what it was intended for. If you are ready and able to repay it to me now, I am open and willing to receive it. I’m sending lots of love to you and your family and hope you get back on your feet soon.”
Here’s another example: If you are trying to win back a significant other who has pulled away or left you for someone else, visualize the two of you on a stage having a loving conversation. You can say things to them like, “I wanted to let you know that even after all we’ve been through, I still love you more than ever. Our time apart has made me realize that I genuinely love and care about you, and always will. Ultimately I want you to be happy, so if that involves you being with someone else who is a better fit for you, I will understand because I truly want you to be happy. However, if it turns out that I am the best partner for you, I am open and willing to receive you back into my life now. I love you.”
The key is to make these conversations as loving and positive as possible, i.e. free from the anger or sadness you may be feeling in response to the situation in the real world. Flowing those feelings has not worked for you up until this point, so try flowing some love towards the other person! You do not need to tell the person about this exercise in order for it to work. They will sense a shift in the way you are treating them or thinking about them, even if they live far away. Remember, everything and everyone is energy and we are all connected.
Feel free to use this exercise as a starting point and tailor it in a way that works better for you. For example, if you’d rather see the other person sitting on a beach rather than an empty stage, try that! Or if you want to use this exercise to practice having a conversation with someone that you know is going to be difficult, feel free do that as well. The whole point of this exercise is to get you into a place of flowing positive, loving feelings towards the other person, rather than any negative feelings you may currently be flowing towards them.
Once you’ve tried this exercise, watch for changes to start occurring all around you, especially if you do this on a consistent basis. You’ll notice people going out of their way to be loving and helpful towards you, even people you didn’t use the exercise on! Most importantly, don't be surprised if all of a sudden the person who owes you money "magically" comes up with the money to finally pay you back, or your former significant other comes to the realization that you are The One for them after all. ;)