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Friday, May 1, 2009

An Exercise in Loving Others

I continue to be amazed that my article entitled “A Powerful Self-Love Exercise!” is getting so many hits on www.ezines.com. I published it awhile back along with some other articles not related to self-love, and to this day it still receives five to ten times more hits than the other articles I published! The message is clear: with today’s economic uncertainty, people are relying more and more on the power of love to survive these tough times.

Here’s another powerful love exercise for you, although this one is more focused upon loving others. Don’t be fooled, though. You will be sending love to others as part of this exercise, but the rewards you will receive personally will be tenfold! Remember, whatever you send out into the Universe always comes back to you times ten (money, love, kindness, etc.).

Think of a situation that is troubling you right now, that involves other people in some way. Maybe you’re trying to win back a former significant other, or trying to collect on a debt that is long overdue to you, or trying to get along with a neighbor who seems intent on making your life as difficult as possible. Once you’ve selected the situation you’d like to improve and the specific person (or people), take a seat somewhere and spend a few minutes getting comfortable and relaxing. You’ll want to do this exercise alone and without distractions, so make sure you’ve chosen a quiet spot. Inhale a few deep breaths, tune out the world around you, and spend a few minutes in silence focusing on your breath.

Once you’ve relaxed and have taken your mind off the outside world, picture the person who is giving you a hard time and visualize them sitting in a chair on an empty theatre stage. (It could be a group of people if that works better for your scenario). When you see the person sitting on stage and can really see the image clearly, add yourself to the picture and watch yourself walk up to the person. You are both on the stage, about to have a conversation with each other. Actually, you will be doing most of the talking in the conversation while the other person will be listening to you.

OK, here’s the good part! You are going to visualize a conversation between the two of you, where you discuss the situation you are experiencing with them, but you are NOT going to express your anger, frustration, etc. to this person. Instead, you are only going to express LOVE to them. Up until now, you have probably been flowing “negative” feelings to this person, like fear, anger, sadness, etc., and no matter justified your feelings may be, they are not helping the situation. However, flowing love to someone (even if you are absolutely convinced they don’t deserve it!) can shift even the most painful and difficult of situations. Ultimately this exercise is for your benefit and so that you will feel better, so focus on creating more happiness within yourself rather than focusing on whether or not the other person actually deserves love. The point of this exercise is to change the way you think about this person and the feelings you flow towards them, because the way you think and act about someone influences the way they think about and act towards you.

So imagine a conversation between the two of you about the problem at hand, and express love to the other person in the words you speak, the gestures you make towards them, even the way you look at them. This may be extremely difficult depending on the circumstances of your situation, but do whatever you can to get into a place of being able to flow love towards this person. Remember, you are using your imagination here so can act loving towards them even if it seems impossible to do in real life! If it helps you, imagine flowing pink or golden light to this other person to really surround them in a feeling of love.

Here’s an example: Say you’re trying to collect money that someone borrowed from you a long time ago. You’ve asked them several times for the money back, but haven’t received a dime. When you think of them your thoughts are probably filled with anger or being taken advantage of, but you’re going to shift that to love with this exercise. So picture you and this person who owes you money sitting on the stage, and visualize a conversation between the two of you. You could be saying things to the other person like, “I just wanted to check in with you regarding the money you owe me. I know times are really tough right now and I understand that you are going through financial difficulties in your family. I’m so glad I was able to help you out and loan you the money you needed. I hope you were able to use it for what it was intended for. If you are ready and able to repay it to me now, I am open and willing to receive it. I’m sending lots of love to you and your family and hope you get back on your feet soon.”

Here’s another example: If you are trying to win back a significant other who has pulled away or left you for someone else, visualize the two of you on a stage having a loving conversation. You can say things to them like, “I wanted to let you know that even after all we’ve been through, I still love you more than ever. Our time apart has made me realize that I genuinely love and care about you, and always will. Ultimately I want you to be happy, so if that involves you being with someone else who is a better fit for you, I will understand because I truly want you to be happy. However, if it turns out that I am the best partner for you, I am open and willing to receive you back into my life now. I love you.”

The key is to make these conversations as loving and positive as possible, i.e. free from the anger or sadness you may be feeling in response to the situation in the real world. Flowing those feelings has not worked for you up until this point, so try flowing some love towards the other person! You do not need to tell the person about this exercise in order for it to work. They will sense a shift in the way you are treating them or thinking about them, even if they live far away. Remember, everything and everyone is energy and we are all connected.

Feel free to use this exercise as a starting point and tailor it in a way that works better for you. For example, if you’d rather see the other person sitting on a beach rather than an empty stage, try that! Or if you want to use this exercise to practice having a conversation with someone that you know is going to be difficult, feel free do that as well. The whole point of this exercise is to get you into a place of flowing positive, loving feelings towards the other person, rather than any negative feelings you may currently be flowing towards them.

Once you’ve tried this exercise, watch for changes to start occurring all around you, especially if you do this on a consistent basis. You’ll notice people going out of their way to be loving and helpful towards you, even people you didn’t use the exercise on! Most importantly, don't be surprised if all of a sudden the person who owes you money "magically" comes up with the money to finally pay you back, or your former significant other comes to the realization that you are The One for them after all. ;)

Happy Manifesting!


  1. I love reading your posts on love, Mary (LOL!) I am more and more convinced that every "issue" we have in our lives is related to us withholding love from ourselves. Even when we appear to be withholding love from others, we are actually withholding it from ourselves, because the "issue" we are having with the other person is reflecting back to us something we are not loving about ourselves.

    I just started reading Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman, where he talks about how most of us don't have the "habit" of loving others. He identifies 7 qualities we need to consciously cultivate to be our most loving selves. I am enjoying it very much so far :)

  2. Hi Karen! Your comment makes me think about the practice of Ho'oponopono, which basically says that everything we create in our lives is an extension of ourselves... and therefore we only need work on loving ourselves more to resolve issues in our outer world. It's hard to wrap your head around at first, but I agree with what you said about everything originating from a lack of love within ourselves. ARGH!

    Ohhh, I actually have that book! I just haven't read it yet:) But you've inspired me to make that one of my next reads.

    Thanks for stopping by, and your comment!