I must say, I’ve been having a lot of fun with this and have already noticed changes within myself that I think came directly from this adventure. I’ve included some pictures this week, so you can see what I’ve been up to. (To see what I had to say about part one, go here.)
Below is a picture of my actual journal, and as you can see it’s already well on its way to being destroyed… ;) Here I've ripped the cover, cut through several layers of pages, cracked the spine, and written on the side of the book opposite the spine.
The instructions for the page below said to "Scribble wildly violenty with reckless abandon"... and I did! It's hard to see in the picture, but I actually tore the page because I was scribbling so violently. Haha.
Finally, here's the picture I'm most proud of... This page instructed me to draw lines with either a pen or pencil, then lick my finger and smear the lines. For some reason, this provoked so much anxiety in me that I decided to REALLY GO FOR IT! So instead of smearing pen or pencil marks, I decided to smear chocolate syrup and mustard on the page!! And let me tell you, it was gross and fun all at the same time:) One of the future instructions is to sleep with the book in your bed, so I may need to re-evaluate that after this last wrecking.
EWWWWW!
Other things I did this past week to wreck my journal:
• Stood up high and dropped the book
• Ripped a page out and crumbled it up
• Cut one of the pages out, made a funnel with it, and drank water from it
• Bent and tore several of the pages
I have to admit, I really am starting to feel more liberated and am noticing changes within myself. I seem to be more accepting of my "flaws", or things I didn't necessarily like about myself before. For example, I think I'm going to be posting an introduction video of myself on my website soon! Up until now this just made me feel entirely UNcomfortable. Now I tell myself, "Eh, there are lots of people using video on their sites these days, and there's no reason I can't."
Another thing that I am really proud off is that I ripped up pictures of an ex-boyfriend! I had been hanging onto these for YEARS, but the other morning I just woke up, and rip, rip, rip! Just like that:) And afterwards I felt so much lighter and open to new experiences and people... I've also noticed that I've been throwing out other things around my place that I've been hanging onto for entirely way too long.
It's funny because as I'm doing the exercises in the journal, I definitely feel a knot of anxiety or just uncomfortable tension in my chest that does not feel good at all. Once I do the exercises, though, the tension dissipates and I'm finding that the anxious tension I feel in my life as a whole is dissipating. I've noticed I'm easier on myself and not so demanding that everything be perfect. I'm allowing myself to be ME... and that is a great feeling :)
Here's to breaking the addiction to perfection once and for all!
In case you're wondering, it's not too late to join in on the fun! To join the group of us going through this together or to just follow along with how others are wrecking their journals, go here.
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