Part Four: Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

Here we are at week four of the Wreck This Journal adventure! (To see my previous entries, go here for week one, here for week two, and here for week three.)

My main activity for this week was taking my book in the shower with me (pictures coming soon). At this point, I’ve already done so much to “wreck” my journal that it’s starting to feel pretty normal to me! In fact, after I had taken the book in the shower with me I decided I had done such a good job with that “task” that I may as well take things to the next level and submerge the book in a bathtub full of water!! I'm wondering if the book will be dried out enough next week to do any more wrecking in it... ;)

What’s really interesting to me about this whole experience, though, is the connection I’ve found between wrecking the journal and being a lot cleaner than normal in my living space. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this past week, trying to figure out if there’s an explanation for it, and I think I’ve figured it out!

Because I’ve been allowing myself to express my creativity through wrecking my journal, I haven’t felt the need to ‘express my creativity’ in my home. I’ve been making a mess in my journal, and therefore haven’t needed to make a mess in my condo.

Wrecking my journal throughout this experience has given me “permission” to do things I normally wouldn’t do, like rip and burn pages, smear condiments on the pages, and write various things all over the pages. Normally I treat books with so much reverence that doing these things to a precious book is just unheard of! Throughout this experience, however, I’ve been allowing myself to break out of my shell and bust through the walls of perfectionism that are usually held around me very firmly in place.

I think that by me leaving clothes and dishes lying everywhere around my condo (my normal routine) I am in a sense “rebelling” and showing the world that I don’t have to abide by the rules of keeping a clean house. I'm saying, “It’s socially acceptable to pick your clothes up off the floor and put the dishes in the dishwasher, but watch this! I’m going to leave clothes and dishes scattered all over the floor, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!” I didn’t rebel much as a teenager, well not at all really, so I think this is my subtle form of rebellion.

Since I’m enjoying having a clean place to live in and would like to keep it that way from now on, I’ve learned that I need some sort of creative outlet where I can regularly express myself however I want to. In essence, allow myself to make a mess so that I don’t feel the need to make a mess in my living space!

Some ideas I came up with to start doing on a regular basis:

• Finger painting
• Playing with food
• Rolling around in the mud (not sure I really want to do this!)

Any others?

I’m curious, has anyone else noticed that they’ve been more clean and tidy than normal while doing this experience?