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Friday, June 26, 2009

Part Four: Addicted to Perfectionism?
"Wreck this Journal!"

Here we are at week four of the Wreck This Journal adventure! (To see my previous entries, go here for week one, here for week two, and here for week three.)

My main activity for this week was taking my book in the shower with me (pictures coming soon). At this point, I’ve already done so much to “wreck” my journal that it’s starting to feel pretty normal to me! In fact, after I had taken the book in the shower with me I decided I had done such a good job with that “task” that I may as well take things to the next level and submerge the book in a bathtub full of water!! I'm wondering if the book will be dried out enough next week to do any more wrecking in it... ;)

What’s really interesting to me about this whole experience, though, is the connection I’ve found between wrecking the journal and being a lot cleaner than normal in my living space. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this past week, trying to figure out if there’s an explanation for it, and I think I’ve figured it out!

Because I’ve been allowing myself to express my creativity through wrecking my journal, I haven’t felt the need to ‘express my creativity’ in my home. I’ve been making a mess in my journal, and therefore haven’t needed to make a mess in my condo.

Wrecking my journal throughout this experience has given me “permission” to do things I normally wouldn’t do, like rip and burn pages, smear condiments on the pages, and write various things all over the pages. Normally I treat books with so much reverence that doing these things to a precious book is just unheard of! Throughout this experience, however, I’ve been allowing myself to break out of my shell and bust through the walls of perfectionism that are usually held around me very firmly in place.

I think that by me leaving clothes and dishes lying everywhere around my condo (my normal routine) I am in a sense “rebelling” and showing the world that I don’t have to abide by the rules of keeping a clean house. I'm saying, “It’s socially acceptable to pick your clothes up off the floor and put the dishes in the dishwasher, but watch this! I’m going to leave clothes and dishes scattered all over the floor, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!” I didn’t rebel much as a teenager, well not at all really, so I think this is my subtle form of rebellion.

Since I’m enjoying having a clean place to live in and would like to keep it that way from now on, I’ve learned that I need some sort of creative outlet where I can regularly express myself however I want to. In essence, allow myself to make a mess so that I don’t feel the need to make a mess in my living space!

Some ideas I came up with to start doing on a regular basis:

• Finger painting
• Playing with food
• Rolling around in the mud (not sure I really want to do this!)

Any others?

I’m curious, has anyone else noticed that they’ve been more clean and tidy than normal while doing this experience?


  1. i've noticed that it's becoming easier for me to wreck my journal too. it's becoming more fun too!! can't wait to see your pics!

  2. and actually i have noticed i am keeping the house a little more tidy. hmmm, connection...maybe.

  3. Yes! I totally agree. How fantastic you've decided to incorporate "mess" into your life in a way of your own mindful choosing.

    (and I would totally love to play in mud!)

  4. great analogy! i have not experienced it yet, but i've not gotten really messy with my journal yet either. time will tell . . .

  5. Interesting and come to think of it, but I've been a little neater everywhere BUT my journal. I need to go and find a new one for Aug/Sept, a blank book this timte! This experience is opening me up to a whole nother way of journaling.

  6. Wow, wish I was having the same side effect to wrecking that you are. Mine is going the opposite direction - wrecking journal, wrecking housekeeping. One big mess!!!

  7. The more we allow ourselves to enjoy wrecking, the more we could bring that freedome to our other work. Wreck On! :)

  8. I've noticed that the things I find that I'd like to keep for some unknown project (slips of paper for example) I have just stuck them in the journal. I usually don't use the things I keep for someday, so this has been a lot of fun actually SEEING the things in the journal. I have not become a better housekeeper, but I haven't lost my scissors in two weeks! So maybe I am getting better. LOL

  9. What a fascinating relationship between the journal and your space. So interesting! Ensuring you always have an outlet for your creative rebellion - what a great idea!

  10. just got this book! i HOPE i am better about keeping my apt tidy as it's been a disaster as of late!

  11. i am off to the bookstore for another copy.. and I am uninhibited about this wrecking,, hope I dontget carried away .. before I BUY the books

    enjoyed your incite

  12. Such a life-changing thing to notice -- an outlet for messiness, an outlet for rule breaking, an outlet for ??? cretivity ???!

    Keep on wrecking!!!!

  13. Having a place to wreck means having a cleaner living space? Interesting. We'll call that a perk! Happy wrecking!

  14. What a great perspective and useful insight. Thanks for sharing it!

    Fan the spark!

    John Soriano