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Monday, January 25, 2010

Being Gentle on Yourself

Every once in awhile I feel zero inspiration to write a blog. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas, it’s just that nothing in particular is screaming at me this moment to become a blog. Actually, this week might be a special case because I’m attending the “Conscious Living” retreat with Gay & Katie Hendricks in Ojai, CA, and I’m going through so much growth and expansion that my brain is fried when it comes to writing blogs. But I thought I’d take this opportunity to re-emphasize how important it is to be gentle on ourselves and practice self-love, even in these moments when the wheels just don’t seem to be turning.

Whether or not you have a blog, I’m sure everyone is familiar with what I’m talking about. You have something that needs to be done, and it might even be something you
know is good for you. However, for some reason you just can’t summon the energy or motivation to do it!

So, what to do when this phenomenon strikes? See below for some helpful hints.

1) No judgement allowed: First and foremost, please remember that beating yourself up or judging yourself for the lack of activity is not going to help. In fact, it’s just going to end up making matters worse! You may think you’re just giving yourself a healthy kick in the butt, but judging yourself or criticizing yourself is *never* a good idea. Instead, try reinforcing some positive self-talk by reminding yourself of all the projects you HAVE successfully completed in the past.

2) Forget about it for awhile: Take a hot bath, or a walk, or even a nap! Just forget about it for awhile, and trust that when the time is right you’ll be back up and running with the right amount of energy and motivation. Unless it’s a life or death situation (and how often is that truly the case?), your project will wait for you while you’re recharging your batteries. Sometimes even five minutes of pure unadulterated time to yourself will do wonders!

3) Dive into your feelings: Are you sure you’re just not feeling motivated, or is there something else going on? Is there some deeper reason why you might be procrastinating? Maybe you’re scared of failure, or even success! Maybe you’re scared of failing, or that your work will be judged as being not up to par. If you identify any issues lurking under the surface, dive into those feelings and bring awareness to them. Really go into your body and explore what’s going on inside. Try making friends with your feelings and you’ll be surprised at how quickly they can subside.

4) Make a move: Sometimes all you need is a good old-fashioned push to get yourself back in the game, and who better to give yourself that push than yourself! Take a step, any step, just to get the energy flowing again. For me it was deciding to write a blog on the topic of not knowing what to write! But hey, I got a blog out of it, didn't I? ;) Maybe for you it’s doing ten jumping jacks, which will convince you that going to the gym is what your body really needs right now, or writing an introductory paragraph for the memo that your boss is waiting on. It doesn’t have to be a huge step, just something to get you moving in the right direction.

Finally, when all else fails:

5) Write a love letter to yourself: This is my new favorite self-love technique, and I can’t encourage you enough to get into a regular habit of celebrating yourself. Every time I do this, I realize more and more things to love about myself! Not only does this allow you to send yourself love and acceptance despite your inactivity, but it will also remind you of all your fabulous qualities. This will fill you with a sense of confidence which may be just what you need to get moving again!

I hope these suggestions have helped you. I'd love to hear about your experience with any of the above tips!


  1. I like the love letter idea! Not only is it a great way to celebrate yourself and brighten your mood, but it also begins to attract that kind of love to you. Thank you for the suggestions!


  2. At the moment I'm trying to reprogramme my brain to think of exercise as a treat rather than a chore, and it's not going all that well - but what I do know is that, once I've got myself out of the front door and into the street, I'm much more likely to go for a good long walk, so some days all I aim to do is get to the garden gate - then when I get home an hour later after a really good walk, I've over-achieved, which feels great!