Self Help Goddess Blog

An Ocean of Abundance

2010-06-08T12:04:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been receiving a ton of coaching requests for people who want to work on attracting more money into their lives. Not surprising considering that money is typically one of people's biggest concerns! Lucky for me, I have a pretty good grasp on my money vibe and I'm able to show others how to attract it quickly and easily. (For more details about coaching with me, go here.)

One of my favorite ways for increasing the money flow in my life is doing the exercise below on a regular basis. This particular description comes from Louise Hay's newest book, Modern-Day Miracles, but I've actually spoken about this before ("Are You Open to Receiving?").

From Louise Hay:

Your prosperity consciousness is not dependent on money; your flow of money is dependent upon your prosperity consciousness. As you are able to conceive of more, more will come into your life.

"Visualize standing at the seashore, looking out at the vast ocean and knowing that it reflects the abundance that is available to you. Look down at your hands and see what sort of container you’re holding. Is it a teaspoon, a thimble with a hole in it, a paper cup, a glad, a tumbler, a pitcher, a bucket, a washtub—or perhaps you have a pipeline connected to this ocean of abundance? Look around you and notice that no matter how many people there are and no matter what kind of container they have, there is plenty for everyone. You cannot rob another, and they cannot rob you. And in no way can you drain the ocean dry. Your container is your consciousness, and it can always be exchanged for a larger container."

Do this exercise often to experience feelings of expansion and unlimited supply.

Now let me ask you:

How did you feel doing that exercise?

What sort of container did you see yourself holding?

Were you able to really feel the abundance pouring into your body and your life, or did you notice yourself trying to push it away and resist it?

I've been having great success using the pipeline image, but don't beat yourself up if you're not there yet. I tried a similar exercise a year ago, and didn't feel comfortable accepting that much abundance into my life. The more often you do this exercise, the more comfortable you'll get holding a larger container, which will lead to larger and larger amounts of money and abundance flowing into your life!

The truth is, there is already a constant flow of money and abundance in our world, which surrounds us at all times and is ready to be tapped into. However, WE are the ones who are preventing it from reaching us, by our constant preoccupation with not having enough and our focus on lack.

Remember, what we focus on is what we create!

Therefore, the more you focus on not having enough money, worrying about how you'll pay your bills at the end of the month, anticipating that you'll run out of funds, etc., the more you will continue to create that in your world.

Trust me, though: You can experience abundance at all times, no matter what the economy is doing, no matter what type of job you have, etc., by keeping your attention on HAVING abundance, rather than lacking it. This is easier said than done, but by spending time visualizing unlimited prosperity and really feeling like there is always enough to go around (like you did in the exercise above), you will begin to manifest that exact same scenario in your life!

You can also use this exercise with respect to love, if that's something you'd like to see more of in your reality. Rather than imagining an ocean of abundance, simply imagine an ocean of love that is overflowing, unending, and just pouring into your life. As long as you are open to accepting it, it will be yours!

For a really great resource on attracting more money into your life, I highly recommend Money Mojo Magic, by master law of attraction coach, Jeannette Maw. This is a super affordable resource that explains exactly how to change your energy in order to quickly create more wealth in your life. And it really works: I literally started making more money the exact same night I finished the ebook! Get more details here.

Are You Playing Small?

2010-06-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."
~Marianne Williamson

I think it’s fair to assume that most people on the spiritual path (and several people not on the path) have heard or read the above quote by Marianne Williamson. I love it so much that it appears in part at the top of the homepage on my website, because I want everyone who visits my site to see it!

However, it’s scary for some of us to shine our lights as brightly as we are capable, and I’d even venture to say that the majority of people out there struggle with this issue at some point in their lives. In fact, I’ll even go so far as to say that a lot of the unhappiness and dissatisfaction in the world today comes from an unwillingness or inability to shine one’s light and truly express the greatness that we each are. We hold ourselves back from being all that we can be, and yet inside we are growing more and more unhappy because we are not expressing our potential and pursuing our passions.

If this resonates with you at all, I’d like to suggest trying the exercise below.

It might just be the thing you need to feel more comfortable shining your bright light and expressing your true gifts and talents to the world!

Here's the exercise:

Think of a particular area in life where you seem to struggle to get ahead. It’s probably an area where you know you have a lot of potential and have huge dreams, but even after months or years of effort things just don’t seem to be going the way you want them to.

Now, ask yourself this question: Who do you worry will feel upset or uncomfortable if you grow too "big for your britches?"

(This question comes from this blog post by Kendall SummerHawk.)

Next, jot down the first answer that comes to mind, even if it doesn’t make any sense. It might be a parent, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker, etc. Write down all the people that come to mind when you ask yourself this question. At first you might not see the connection, or you may totally see the connection. Either way, the reason why you’ve been holding yourself back should begin to make sense!

If you’re struggling in a particular area where you’ve been trying to get ahead, you may be subconsciously holding yourself back because you fear that someone (often in your past) will be resentful of you or react negatively if you succeed or show your true brilliance to the world. Even if it doesn’t consciously make sense to you, or even if the person is not consciously trying to hold you back, at some point in time, on some level, it's possible you decided that in order to avoid resentment or negative feelings on their part, you would play small.

Once you've identified someone in response to the question above, see your answer begins to shine some light on the issue. This may be enough to shift the issue right then and there. Can you see how you've been holding yourself back to avoid discomfort or resentment on the part of someone else? Or maybe you simply don't want to outshine a parent or sibling, who you think might be left behind if you pursue your dreams and achieve success. Or maybe you're scared that a spouse or romantic partner may not adjust well to your new, brighter identity.

In fact, there are a variety of reasons why you may not want to grow too "big for your britches" because you're scared of the reaction of someone else, and the answer will vary with each person who tries this exercise. The key is to do the exercise and see what comes up for you. Sometimes just the awareness is enough to create resolution, but if not you may have to dig a little deeper. Regardless, the answer lies within you, and once you find it you are well on your way to shining your light in the world and creating the life of your dreams!

For more tips and techniques like the one above, be sure to check out my ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life. It has been called "one of the most useful self-help books I have read" and "an amazing resource for anyone who wants to make big, positive changes in their life." More details here!

Keeping a Gratitude/Evidence Journal

2010-05-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

This is a great new technique I recently came up with, although I certainly can’t take all the credit for it. It’s a combination of a few popular techniques which I’ve heard about from different sources over the years, and I’ve simply combined them into a fun and easy tool to assist you in raising your overall vibration and quickly manifesting your desires.

You’ve probably heard of gratitude journals (you might even keep one!), in which you list things in your journal every day that you are grateful for in your life. Oprah made these popular awhile back when she admitted that keeping a gratitude journal was the single biggest practice that changed her life. You may have also heard of positive evidence journals, which are popular in law of attraction circles, and used to track evidence that something you are desiring to manifest is on its way to you now.

Rather than keeping two separate journals, I decided to combine the two! I've been doing this for about two weeks now and am really noticing a difference.

Here are the instructions:

First, think of a goal or desire you'd like to try this process on. It's best to start with one desire, and once you begin getting results you can introduce new desires into the mix. Your goal or desire can either be something you’ve been trying to manifest for awhile now, or a more recent desire. It can be large or small, or something that means a lot to you or not so much (for example, the love of your life or parking spots close to your office).

Then, every night before bed (or another similar time), take out a journal you’re going to dedicate to this practice and list five things in your life that you are grateful for and that are evidence that your particular manifestation is on its way to you now. Therefore, if you’re trying to manifest more abundance in your life, you could list such things like:

• “I found a ten-dollar bill in the laundry today.”
• “My boss bought me lunch today.”
• “I received a coupon in the mail for a restaurant I have been wanting to go to.”

Once you’ve done that part of the exercise, then list five things you are grateful for IN ADVANCE of your manifestation coming true. This is where you get to use your creativity and imagination to go to the future and think about things you would like to come true with respect to the particular desire you are focusing on for this exercise. So if your manifestation had already happened, what would you be grateful for? Returning to the example of manifesting more abundance, you might list things like:

• “My boss told me I'm getting a raise! (Even though this hasn't happened yet in your reality, it is something you hope to create.)
• "My husband got an expected bonus at work!"
• "My ebook is selling hundreds of copies per month!"

This exercise is extremely powerful and its potential is huge, so don’t underestimate its simplicity. By focusing on evidence you have noticed in your life, no matter how large or small, you are focusing on the fact that your dream or desire IS in fact on its way to you. This is particularly helpful on those days when you begin to doubt that what you want will ever come true,and will help keep you focused on what you want to attract.

Furthermore, by being grateful for things in advance, you are not only raising your overall vibration, but you are actually setting the stage for those things to come to pass in your life. What you focus on consistently becomes your reality, so the more you focus on what you want to create, the quicker and easier those things can come to you. Finally, gratitude or appreciation are some of the highest vibrations you can flow.

Doing the above will already go a long way in helping you manifest your goal or desire, but to *really* add some juice to this exercise, mix up the two categories when you list them rather than listing the two categories separately. This means that instead of listing five things you're grateful for now, and then five things you're grateful for in your future manifestation, mix them up in one list so there's no division between the two. This actually tricks your subconscious into thinking every single thing on your list has already come true, and as a result your subconscious gets busy creating results in your life ASAP. Once you start doing this on a regular basis, your goal or desire is practically a done deal!

I have been doing this exercise for a few weeks now, and have been getting so much out of it I've decided to do it permanently. I hope you'll join me and report back to me on the fabulous results you're getting!

Allowing Miracles

2010-05-12T13:37:00.001-07:00

If you saw my last blog post, then you know I was recently in South Africa for work. I headed over there for two weeks to visit our South Africa office, and assist with a particular project that was falling behind schedule. However, the couple who runs the office was out of town for their anniversary and had no access to phones or email. Therefore, they had no idea I was coming, and more importantly, I had no idea if anyone would be there to pick me up at the airport or if I would even have a hotel room when I arrived!

Needless to say, as I prepared for my trip, several people around me were very anxious and asking a lot of questions:

• Where would I stay?
• What city in particular was I going to?
• How would I get around?
• What about security issues?
• Would I have a security guard?
• Would I get to visit any of the national parks?

I didn’t know the answers to these questions, and quite frankly I didn’t care. I was super excited, packed my bags, and got ready for a grand adventure! I literally boarded the plane not knowing which specific city I was going to in South Africa, or if anyone would be at the airport on the other end to pick me up.

When I arrived, after a long 15-hour flight, I was thrilled to find that not only were there people at the airport to pick me up, but they were absolutely delightful and what ensued was two wonderful weeks that I will never forget. They were great people to work with on a daily basis, and they truly treated me as part of their family. I know I will be life-long friends with them.

In addition to feeling so loved by them, they showed me all around their city, treated me to outdoor barbeques to sample all the local food, and even took me on an all-day safari on their dime, where we had the pleasure of seeing an elephant up close as he walked down the road directly in front of our jeep for a good thirty minutes (that's him above!). Not to mention, they drove me around every day, made sure I had everything I needed, and even taught me a few key phrases in Afrikaans.

I tell this story because before I left, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I’d never been to South Africa before, but more importantly, I wasn’t really provided a lot of information about my trip. No one from my office had ever been, so in all fairness no one had much information to give me. It was just expected that I would get over there and figure it all out!

However, and this is important, I TRUSTED that all would work out for me. And it did! There is not a single thing I would change about my trip. I had a fabulous time, met some great people, and have memories to last a lifetime. I was open to experiencing miracles, and I did! Unfortunately, this is a quality I notice is missing in a lot of people who are not currently living lives they love or are very excited about.

So many people spend the majority of their days worried or scared, about money, their boss, their job, their parents, their kids, their next vacation, and on and on and on. And yes, there are of course several things in our world and our lives that could go wrong on a daily basis. There are, however, also several things that could go RIGHT in our world and our lives on a daily basis, if we would just open ourselves up to them. Opportunities and miracles are everywhere, if we just allow them!

I had no idea what to expect when I agreed to go to South Africa. In fact, the reason the trip was offered to me in the first place was because the person who was originally supposed to go backed out at the last minute. Rather than being scared about my trip and overly worried about the details, though, I trusted in the Universe and myself to make things work out for the best. I always expect things to work out for me in the best possible way, and they usually do! I expect to always be provided with enough money at the right time, and I am!

Some might call this luck, but it’s really not luck at all. Our thoughts create our realities, and the more you focus on positive thoughts and expectations, the more positive experiences you will create in your life. This is not to say that sometimes you don’t have to exercise caution or common sense. However, in my world I would rather have a positive expectation that things will work out and deal with any issues that arise, versus always being on the lookout for things that could wrong. What about you?

If you read my last post, you’ll see that on my way home from South Africa I had planned to stop over in Paris for three days and take a bit of a vacation. Due to the volcano in Iceland, this turned into eight days! That’s an entire story in itself so I won’t go into the details here, but needless to say I had another chance to trust in the Universe and expect that everything would work out for me. And it did, just like magic! ;)

Creating a Life You Love!

2010-05-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been the past month or so, there's been a lot going on! I took a last minute two-week business trip to South Africa, and then ended up having an "extended" vacation in Paris due to the volcano in Iceland. During my almost month-long sabbatical from my regular life, I learned many very important and beneficial life lessons and will be posting several blogs in the upcoming weeks about what I learned. Keep your eyes on this space if you’re interested. Above all, I learned that LIFE IS GOOD and just keeps getting better!

To make a long story short, I was returning to the States from South Africa and was planning on spending three days in Paris on the way home. Three days turned into eight days due to the volcano that closed down virtually all airports in Western Europe! After adjusting to the shock that I was literally “stuck” in Paris, I spent an additional five days creating an absolutely magical vacation. What better way to turn an absolutely absurd situation into an excuse for loving myself and creating my ideal life!

I *LOVE* Paris, absolutely love it. I'm a real Francophile and always have been. I lived there for two years following college and when I'm there things just fall into place for me like you would not believe. (More details in my ebook if you're interested). I feel more connected to who I really am while in Paris, and part of me secretly wonders if I was French in a former life!

However, I also noticed something interesting the other week while I was there. In addition to feeling extremely fulfilled every time I'm in Paris, I also go out of my way to create a life I love when I'm there. I'm out of my hotel super early every morning and don't come home until super late. I spend the days going to outdoor cafes, browsing in shops I love, dining at my favorite restaurants, journaling and relaxing in parks and gardens, taking pictures of the blooming flowers, etc. Everything I do in Paris is a *sensory* experience, from eating my favorite foods, to visiting museums and admiring the artwork, to sitting on the side of the Seine and really soaking in the atmosphere. I make every minute count, and the same was true when I lived there, not just when I’m there on vacation.

It got me thinking about my current life in Washington, DC. Just because I live in DC and not Paris, there’s no reason I can’t create a life I love here in DC just like I do when I’m in Paris! In many ways Washington is very similar to Paris, especially the particular neighborhood I live in. There are cafes, shops, bars, restaurants, outdoor markets, museums, giant cathedrals, parks, beautiful flowers, etc. However, I don't currently spend a lot of time actually enjoying these things and taking advantage of them like I do when I'm in Paris. That's when it hit me: it's time I stop wishing I lived in Paris and start revelling in my life here, right now!

Let me ask you this: How many of you are actively creating a life you love on a daily basis, versus feeling sorry for yourself because you’re not currently experiencing your ideal career, or relationship, or living situation, or weight, etc? That’s no excuse to not be creating your ideal life! There are things you could be doing right now to enhance your enjoyment of life, even before that thing or situation you are wanting arrives. So start doing those things! Sure, it might not be *exactly* the same as if you were truly already living your ideal life, but it’s a start… a great start, in fact!

The law of attraction brings you more of whatever you spend the majority of your time focusing on and feeling. Therefore, the more time you spend in delicious feelings of happiness and fulfillment while entertaining thoughts about how much you love your life, the more the Universe will bring to you to match these thoughts and emotions, including your ideal job, weight, financial situation, relationship, etc. Isn't this great news?!

So I invite you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start creating a life you love, right this very minute! Especially with summer right around the corner, now's a great time to commit to creating a life you're absolutely ecstatic about. Why not take the next few months to concentrate on doing activities that bring you joy and fill you with a sense of fulfillment and enjoyment, every single day? I'll definitely be doing this, and I encourage you to do the same!

And be sure to check out my ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life, to learn more about how I manifested my ideal life in Paris for two years straight out of college. It's all I could think about the other week when I was there!

Practicing Meaningful Habits

2010-03-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

I’ll be honest, there are times when I don’t want to write a blog post. Actually, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t think of anything in particular that’s inspiring me to write an entire post.

I always try to write about something that’s relevant to my life and hopefully to yours, and some days (or weeks!) I’m really just not feeling it. But (and this is a big BUT), I know that if I don’t write a post I will ultimately end up feeling worse than if I had just dug a little deeper to find an interesting topic to write about. Here, let me explain!

Expressing myself creatively and speaking/writing about topics relating to creating your ideal life are true passions of mine. They jazz me up and fill me with a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Also, connecting with other like-minded souls (like the people who read my blog) is very essential to my overall happiness. I don’t get a lot of one-on-one interaction in my “real” life with people who are as into these topics as I am, so connecting with people on-line is especially important to me. And during those weeks when I don’t publish a blog post or get a newsletter out I can really feel a difference! I just feel off, a little sluggish, and less in-tune with my authentic self and overall purpose.

So I’d like to use this opportunity to ask you: What are the things you do in your life that fill you up, inspire you, and allow you to express who you really are? First and foremost, do you have things like that in your life? If not, get busy discovering some! And more importantly, are you making these things an integral part of your life?

Sure, we all lead super busy lives and situations pop up constantly that demand our time and attention. That’s a given. But the thing separates those who are merely surviving on a day-to-day basis from those who are really thriving on a daily basis is a commitment to doing things that really fill you up and give you a sense of joy!

Take working out, for example. Anyone who works out knows that there are days when you just do NOT feel like exercising. Maybe you’re tired from a long day at the office, or you don’t want to get sweaty, or your energy is just really low. We’ve all been there. From years of experience, though, I know that if I give into my exhaustion and skip my workouts too many times in a row I will ultimately end up feeling worse than if I just exerted a little extra effort and did the workout. I do yoga 2-3 times a week these days, and even though there are days when I would honestly rather stay home and lounge on the couch, I know that I'll feel better after I do yoga than I would if I just stayed home and relaxed.

The point of this blog post is to point out that yes, often in life there are things we don’t feel like doing. It would be so much easier to expend less energy and take the easy way out. But ask yourself how fulfilled you are living that way. I have a full-time job in addition to running my website and blog, and there are definitely times when it all gets to feel like too much. I also know, however, that I feel the most alive and fulfilled when I work on my website and blog. When I let that go I can tell a huge difference in my energy levels, happiness, and overall satisfaction with life.

If you are truly committed to living your ideal life (and I know you are since you are visiting my blog!), then you’ll want to find a way to include meaningful activities in your life that give you a sense of purpose, no matter how difficult you think that might be. If you have to reprioritize your schedule or cut certain activities out of your day all together, then go ahead and do that. If you have to let go of old friendships that are no longer adding anything to your growth and expansion, then that might be the path to take. Maybe you can start reading uplifting books on your subway commute to work in the morning, or for ten minutes every night before you go to bed. The point is, find a way to include things in your life that fill you up and give you a sense of aliveness. It make take a little more schedule juggling on your part, but you will be so glad you did!

Finding the Hidden Benefits

2010-03-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

This post is for those of you who’ve been trying to create something in your life for awhile now, but just can’t seem to make it happen. Rather than staying stuck in a place of sheer frustration, this post will show you how to take responsibility for the circumstances you've been experiencing and move out of them once and for all!

I'm going to be honest with you and cut to the chase: If there’s something you’ve been wanting for a long time but nothing has changed in your life, it’s possible that some part of you doesn’t really want that thing or situation you’re trying to create! Obviously, this assumes that you’ve actually been expending energy and effort trying to get this thing to work, otherwise your lack of effort is the reason behind why you’re not succeeding.

But if you’ve been making an honest attempt at trying to lose those last five lbs., or trying to make more money on-line from your website, or deepening your relationship with your spouse or children, or attracting new like-minded individuals into your life, etc., and still nothing is budging, then that usually means that something inside of you is not entirely on-board with whatever it is you think you’re wanting.

I know what you’re thinking! You're convinced there’s no possible way this is true. After all, you want this thing or situation SO badly, so it can’t possibly be true that part of you *doesn’t* want it. However, while this is not necessarily a case of self-sabotage, it is likely that there’s a hidden subconscious reason why you’re not making as much progress with your particular goal as you'd like. So let's take a closer look at these subconscious motivations and bring conscious awareness to why you might be staying stuck in an experience you thought you so desperately wanted out of!

Even though I get asked out regularly on my fair share of dates, I’ve been single (not in a serious relationship) for awhile now. And even though it would be pretty easy to blame this on the fact that I’m just not getting asked out by the “right” guys, I’m also not doing a whole heck of a lot to put myself out there to meet my match! Ultimately I do think I would like to be married and have a family, but I also wonder if there’s some part of me that isn’t entirely committed to being in a long-term relationship. Otherwise, I would probably already be in one!

Can you relate to this? Maybe it’s not in the area of relationships, but in some area of your life where you think you’re committed to one thing but the results seem to show otherwise?

So, what to do when this happens? Hint: beating yourself up is not the answer!

Instead, spend some time investigating whether there are any hidden benefits to your situation being the way it is now. Take out your journal or a piece of paper and at the top write, “Benefits of My Current Situation.” Next, list as many benefits (at least 5) as you can come up with regarding your situation as it is right now. You might have to stretch your mind a little at first and look at your situation in a whole new light, but go ahead and do that! Not only will doing this exercise help you uncover (possible) hidden motives behind your desires, but it will also help release any resistance you may be flowing around this particular area of your life.

For example, in my case it might look like:

Benefits of My Current Situation:

• I have complete freedom to spend my time however I want
• I don’t have to check in with anyone
• I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself

Oftentimes just uncovering the hidden motivations are enough to clear up the issue. By bringing them to light, you are able to see things you weren't previously aware of.

If this exercise doesn't clear things up, however, you'll want to find a way to reconcile what you are ultimately trying to create with the benefits you are experiencing from your current situation. For example, in my situation I am enjoying being single because it allows me to experience freedom, but that doesn't mean I have to forego relationships all together! It just means I would be well-served to find a relationship that provides me with a great deal of freedom, as well as closeness.

If you've been trying to lose weight but uncover some hidden benefits of staying your current size (maybe you don't want to have to buy all new clothes to fit your new size!), then you'll want to find a way to reconcile your overall desire to lose weight with your desire to not have to buy a whole new wardrobe. For example, maybe your sister is the same size as your desired size and you can take over some of her old clothes. Be creative and find ways to reconcile your two desires!

Whether we want to admit it or not, there is always some reason why we are in the situations we are in, and it's usually not because the Universe is against us! Even if our motivations are subconscious and hidden from us, they are always there, driving our behavior. If you're finding that the actions you're taking are not lining up with the results you had hoped to achieve, do the exercise above to see if you have any hidden benefits to your current situation that might be preventing you from moving forward. You might be surprised by what you find!

Scripting Your Ideal Life

2010-03-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks I’ve been leading weekly scripting calls over at my new favorite hangout on the web, Good Vibe University. Scripting is the practice of speaking about something you’d like to manifest as if it’s already happened, i.e. that thing or situation is already a part of your life.

At first this can seem a bit awkward, because when most of us talk about things we want, we talk about them from a place of lack. These things haven't made an appearance in our realities yet, and therefore we're still in a vibe of wanting them. Scripting is a fantastic exercise to activate the vibration of having something, which speeds up its attraction to you. Remember, the law of attraction states that "like attracts like." By scripting and talking about things as if they’ve already happened, you're invoking the energy that is needed to make your dreams come true.

The good news is, you don’t have to join a scripting call to get benefits from this sort of exercise. In fact, you can start scripting in your mind right this very second!

Think about a particular goal or desire you’d like to see come to fruition in the next few months. It could be anything: weight loss, improved finances, a new relationship, more energy, etc. Next, think about how you would speak about this goal to others if it had already come true. What would you tell your friends and family, now that this thing is a part of your life? Would you talk about it more or less? Would the tone of your voice change, or the energy behind the words you speak?

You can also call to mind someone who already has success in that area that you’re trying to replicate. It could be someone you know, or even a character in your favorite movie or television show. Think about how this person talks about what you're trying to manifest, and even how they talk to themselves about this particular thing. They may not even talk about it very much at all because it’s already a part of their life! Is there a particular body language associated with how they talk about it?

You know the next step. Start using those same words, self-talk, behavior, etc. in order to manifest that thing or situation into your life! In some circumstances it might not be feasible to script out loud, but you can certainly script in your mind at all times. Talk to yourself as if your desire is already a reality in your world. How does that change the way you talk to yourself in this particular area?

If this feels too awkward for you at first, try imagining that you’re an actor in a play or movie and that you’re playing the role of someone who is living your ideal life. Really get into the character and feel the emotions that this person would have. Even if you’ve been playing the role of someone who's not successful in a particular area up until now, you can change the role you’ve been playing in your life at any time you choose!

Here's an example: Say you’ve been thinking about taking up yoga, but you’re typically a wallflower or homebody and not very comfortable meeting new people. As much as you’d like to start a weekly yoga practice, the thought of joining a studio where you won’t know anyone is just not appealing to you. Instead of allowing this to hamper you and hold you back, try some of the methods I described above.

You can start scripting to your friends about how excited you are to join the new yoga studio (even if inside you feel completely the opposite). Next you can actually go to the studio to sign up, and assume the role of someone who is confident, outgoing, and open to new situations and people. Rather than falling into your old pattern of keeping to yourself, try striking up a conversation with the person behind the front desk or even one of the yogis at the studio. I’m not saying these changes are going to happen overnight, and it might require a little willpower on your part, but it is possible and it can be done!

I'd love to hear your experience with any of the above techniques! By using them on a consistent basis, you will begin to feel more comfortable actually having your desires as part of your life and it won’t feel so foreign to you. Once that happens, it's only a matter of time before those things seem to magically show up in your reality!

For more details on scripting and additional exercises to create your ideal life, be sure to check out my ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life! (That's it in the top left corner of this page).

Playing the What If Game

2010-02-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things tend to get a little serious on the path of self improvement and personal growth. We focus on all that hasn't happened yet in our lives, and all the changes we still have to implement. So I thought I'd use this post to bring things back to a fun vibe, and introduce you to a game!

The What If game is a game that’s popular in law of attraction circles, but anyone can do it and I highly recommend it. Not only is it a ton of fun, but it instantly puts you in a better mood and is very effective in helping you create the life of your dreams.

The What If game is simple. Basically, the premise is this: Most of us, when we think of a goal we’d like to accomplish or a dream we’d like to manifest, or even something as simple as going to a cocktail party, we ask ourselves a series of questions that focus on the negative, i.e. “What if my business fails and I go bankrupt?” “What if I never lose this weight and stay like this forever?” “What if I go to this party and no one talks to me?” By asking ourselves questions like this from a standpoint of assuming the worst, we might think we’re preparing ourselves and preventing those things from happening. In actuality, however, we’re just taking ourselves further and further away from our desired scenario!

For example, say you’re at a cocktail party and want to go up to someone, but the only thoughts running through your mind are: “What if I say something stupid and embarrass myself?” or “What if I spill my drink on me?” If this is the case, not only are you going to be much less likely to actually take action and go up to someone new, but if you do go talk to them chances are you’ll be so nervous that you may actually spill your drink on yourself!

So to play the What If game, you begin asking yourself questions from a positive standpoint, i.e. that focus on what you WANT to happen. Using the same example from above, you could interrupt yourself from asking negative questions in your head and instead consciously replace them with questions like, “What if I tell a great joke and everything thinks I’m really funny?” or “What if this person knows someone who can help me find my ideal job/life partner?” Obviously, there’s no guarantee that any of the questions you’re asking will come true, but that’s not the point!

The point is to get your mind moving in a new direction, whereby you’re focusing on things from a more positive standpoint. You want to focus on the best-case scenario coming true rather than assuming the worst. If you read my post on Afformations, then you know the importance of asking your mind questions that focus on what you want to create rather than what you want to avoid. Whenever you ask yourself a question, your mind immediately goes off in search of the answer. By asking a question from the standpoint of what you want to attract, this directs your mind to focus on what you want to create. And we all know that whatever we consistently focus on becomes true in our lives.

Here’s another example: Say I want to manifest my ideal home, but I have no idea how that’s going to happen because I don’t have the money right now. Rather than getting frustrated and automatically giving up on my desire, I can ask myself:

• What if the sellers of my dream home drop the price drastically and I can now afford it?
• What if my dream home goes into foreclosure and I can buy it from the bank for a ridiculously cheap price?
• What if I win the lottery tomorrow and never have to worry about money again?

Get the idea?

Use whatever questions you like, and sometimes the more “out there” they are, the better! The purpose of this game is not to find answers to the questions, but rather to get in a place of thinking about your desires coming true. We get so attached to how our dreams our going to be delivered to us, and oftentimes we prevent things from making their way to us because we think they can only come through one single channel. This game helps you release your attachment to outcomes, and expand the possibilities in your mind of all the different ways your dreams can come true!

If the words “What if” don’t fully resonate with you, you can also use the words “Wouldn’t it be nice if…?” For example, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I win the lottery?” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if I lose ten lbs. overnight?” For even more fun, try playing this out loud with a partner or group of friends!

For additional resources on playing the What If game, check out the What If Up Club website, www.whatifup.com.

Solo on Valentine's Day

2010-02-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

I was asking for suggestions for blog topics the other day on Twitter, and a dear friend suggested I write on the topic of being single on Valentine’s Day (I prefer the word “solo” to single). I thought it was a great idea, especially since Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching at the end of this week and I can already feel the tension beginning to rise around me!

So, what to do if you’re solo on Valentine’s Day? First and foremost, stop beating yourself up about it! It’s not that big a deal. Really, it’s not! In fact, lots of people in relationships dread Valentine’s Day as much as you do and would prefer to avoid it all together. Some couples even break up just prior to February 14 because the pressure is just too much too handle. New couples worry about whether they should celebrate the big day and what sort of gift to get their partner, while many long-term couples wonder why they continue to celebrate this holiday after so many years together. Honestly, Valentine's Day is not all it's cracked up to be!

If you’re still not feeling convinced, though, remember that loving yourself is key to any great relationship. Before you can truly love someone else and welcome them into your heart, you must start with a solid foundation of loving yourself. You’ve heard it before, but it’s true! Therefore, rather than feeling sad or depressed this Valentine’s Day because you’re not in a relationship, why not flow love and compassion towards yourself in order to get you ready for your next great relationship (which is on its way to you, whether you realize it or not!).

Instead of spending the day focusing on how you’re alone and you’d rather not be, spend the day focused on yourself and appreciating all that you are! Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate this day, too. After all, Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, and you can love yourself and love your life even if you’re solo!

One of the best ways to love yourself is to watch what you say to yourself in your mind, i.e. monitor your thoughts and self-talk. If you catch yourself thinking a thought that makes you feel bad or depressed, change it immediately to a thought that makes you feel better. We’re in control of our thoughts and can think anything we want. For example, I guarantee you that telling yourself things like, “I’m the only one without a date on Valentine’s Day” or “I’ll be alone forever” are going to make you feel horrible! Therefore, if you catch yourself thinking a thought like that, immediately cancel it and replace it with a thought that feels better. Some examples are:

• I've been in great relationships before, so I'll be in another great relationship soon.
• Being single is only temporary.
• I'm not going to let this day dictate how I feel about myself.
• I love and celebrate myself, exactly as I am!

Next, be sure to plan something special so that you’re not sitting at home alone feeling sorry for yourself. Invite some friends over for a dinner party, rent your favorite movie, or treat yourself to a massage! Remember, rather than using the day as an excuse to beat yourself up for being single, use the day as an excuse to celebrate you and everything you are. Take yourself shopping, get your hair done at the salon, or go to the gym and attend a yoga class. Do anything that makes you feel better about yourself and interrupts your pattern of feeling low because you’re solo.

Also, keep in mind that being single is very rarely a permanent state. Sure, you’re not in a relationship right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be single forever! In fact, being single is actually a pre-requisite for being in a relationship: when the right person shows up you have to be single so you're available to be with them. Besides, everyone who has a date this Valentine’s Day has been single at some point in their lives!

So if you're starting to feel anxious as Valentine's Day approaches, don't. It's only one day out of the entire year, and there are tons of couples who boycott the day entirely because there's too much hype surrounding it. Ultimately, only you are in charge of how you feel about yourself and this day doesn't have to be any different than the rest. You can still choose to feel beautiful, sexy, intelligent, fun, and madly in love with yourself, even if you're solo. :)

Owning Your Sexiness

2010-02-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

Last week at my coach training, one of the greatest lessons I learned was that of owning my sexiness. Even though the majority of the week was focused on coaching techniques, we also underwent a lot of personal growth and transformation and I embraced the true definition of sexiness!

I’m here to tell you from personal experience, sexiness has nothing to do with looks. I’ll repeat that here, just to make sure you really get the message: Being HOT & sexually attractive has absolutely *nothing* to do with your looks!! (I tweeted this the other day and got lots of positive responses so I thought I’d write a blog about it).

Sure, we’re taught in our society that looks are the key to happiness in life, and that you’re only sexy if you look a certain way (tall, thin, gorgeous skin, etc.). But think of all the other societies across the world where an entirely different look is valued. For example, some societies actually think the sexiest women are those with the large, round hips and voluptuous bodies. In their societies, thinness is actually not considered attractive at all!

So if sexiness doesn’t have anything to do with looks, then what makes someone sexy and attractive to others? Here you go, so listen up! The truth is, sexiness is all about owning and embracing who YOU are. It means not trying to conform to society’s version of what sexy is, but conforming to what YOUR idea of sexy is! We are all unique, all completely different, with various qualities, strengths, and weaknesses. And owning and embracing who you are is the key to sexiness!

Being sexy means recognizing that you are incredibly dynamic and intriguing, just for being you, and allowing your light to shine through. It has to do with confidence, self-acceptance, and owning and embracing everything that you are! It’s knowing that you have so much to offer to this world, and being excited about sharing that with others. It’s about looking in the mirror and liking what you see, but also knowing that beauty is really created from the inside out and that what’s most important is on the inside.

So many of us spend so much time condemning ourselves because we’re not the perfect size, or the right height, or don’t have the right hair, or eye color, etc. Who really cares?! There is no one else on the planet exactly like you, and that makes you incredibly sexy!! Even if you’re an identical twin and your twin looks just like you, there are characteristics about your personality that make you uniquely you and distinct from your twin.

We’ve all had the experience of meeting someone who looks really sexy from the outside, but the minute we start talking to them we lose all interest in them. On the flip side, haven’t you met someone who didn’t look all that great to you at first, but the minute you got to know them and their personality they became so incredibly sexy to you? No matter what someone looks like on the outside, it’s really their inner beauty that captivates and attracts others.

So, what to do if you’re not feeling super sexy right now? Start by embracing your inner qualities and who you really are rather than focusing so much attention on your looks. Learn to feel your sexiness from the inside out! Make a list of all the reasons you love yourself and what makes you special. There are certain qualities you have that set you apart from others, and the more you focus on those the sexier you become! Don’t forget to write a love letter to yourself if you haven’t already!

Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself! The next time you catch yourself not feeling very sexy, spend a few minutes focusing on all the things you appreciate about yourself (how smart you are, how good you are with kids, how loyal you are with your pets, etc.). Don’t you feel sexier and more confident already?!

Stay tuned later this week for my post on what to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day. Hint: It has more to do with loving and embracing yourself as you are, rather than running out and finding any date you can! ;)

Embracing Your Feelings

2010-01-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m spending the week in Ojai, CA going through coach training with Gay & Katie Hendricks (I’ve been a huge fan of their work for years!). One of the main things we’ve been talking about is body awareness, or how to get in touch with and really embrace your feelings.

For most people, feelings are something we typically avoid. They might feel “icky” and pop up when we least expect them, and so the last thing we want to do is actually embrace them! Yet really feeling your feelings and allowing them to be as they are can not only solve many of your problems, but also leads to a much richer expression of both yourself and your life. Often times we are so scared of feeling our emotions that we play small and avoid situations that might trigger them in any way. Addictions are actually based on the unwillinginess to explore and feel various feelings.

I'd like to share an exercise with you I learned this week, which explains one way to get in touch with your feelings. My hope is that it will show you how easy it can be to explore our emotions, and that doing so regularly can radically increase the enjoyment of our lives!

Start by selecting a particular feeling you want to concentrate on during this exercise. It could be a feeling you’re experiencing right this very moment, or you can use your imagination to conjure up an emotion you’ve had in the past which causes you discomfort. (Note: you don’t have to select a “negative” emotion, you can also use “positive” emotions, like joy or happiness, which you have trouble experiencing to their fullest extent.)

Once you’ve selected an emotion, tune into your body and turn your attention inward. Take a few deep breaths to get centered, if you’re not already there, and tune out all outside distractions as best as you can. Now, scan your body internally and become aware of the particular emotion that you’re exploring. Locate the feeling and ask yourself the following questions:

• Where do I feel this particular emotion in my body?
• What does it feel like, i.e. what sensations I am feeling?
• Does this feeling have a certain shape or texture to it? If so, describe it.
• Does this emotion have any color to it? Which one?
• Finally, if this feeling could talk, what would it say to me? Does it have a particular message to give me at this time?

As you do this exercise, notice if the feeling changes in any way. For example, has it moved to a new location in your body, changed shapes, or adopted a new texture? Also, does it have any new messages to give you as the exercise goes on?

For many of you, this may feel uncomfortable if you’ve never gotten in touch with your feelings like this before. Most of us spend so much time in our heads that we spend very little time getting in touch with our bodies and the various sensations we experience within it. Don’t worry about whether or not you are giving the correct answers to the questions. There are no right or wrong answers! Just go with whatever comes to mind, and allow yourself to feel and think whatever comes up.

Doing this exercise on a regular basis could be the beginning of a life-long romance with your feelings! Instead of running from them or trying to control them as we normally do, I invite you to try exploring and embracing your feelings. View them as messengers with important information to relay to you, rather than inconveniences or annoyances to be avoided at all costs.

The more you listen carefully to your emotions and allow them to be as they are, I think you'll find that your life runs much more smoothly, and is filled with all the joy, abundance, and love you could ever imagine! :-)

Being Gentle on Yourself

2010-01-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile I feel zero inspiration to write a blog. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas, it’s just that nothing in particular is screaming at me this moment to become a blog. Actually, this week might be a special case because I’m attending the “Conscious Living” retreat with Gay & Katie Hendricks in Ojai, CA, and I’m going through so much growth and expansion that my brain is fried when it comes to writing blogs. But I thought I’d take this opportunity to re-emphasize how important it is to be gentle on ourselves and practice self-love, even in these moments when the wheels just don’t seem to be turning.

Whether or not you have a blog, I’m sure everyone is familiar with what I’m talking about. You have something that needs to be done, and it might even be something you
know is good for you. However, for some reason you just can’t summon the energy or motivation to do it!

So, what to do when this phenomenon strikes? See below for some helpful hints.

1) No judgement allowed: First and foremost, please remember that beating yourself up or judging yourself for the lack of activity is not going to help. In fact, it’s just going to end up making matters worse! You may think you’re just giving yourself a healthy kick in the butt, but judging yourself or criticizing yourself is *never* a good idea. Instead, try reinforcing some positive self-talk by reminding yourself of all the projects you HAVE successfully completed in the past.

2) Forget about it for awhile: Take a hot bath, or a walk, or even a nap! Just forget about it for awhile, and trust that when the time is right you’ll be back up and running with the right amount of energy and motivation. Unless it’s a life or death situation (and how often is that truly the case?), your project will wait for you while you’re recharging your batteries. Sometimes even five minutes of pure unadulterated time to yourself will do wonders!

3) Dive into your feelings: Are you sure you’re just not feeling motivated, or is there something else going on? Is there some deeper reason why you might be procrastinating? Maybe you’re scared of failure, or even success! Maybe you’re scared of failing, or that your work will be judged as being not up to par. If you identify any issues lurking under the surface, dive into those feelings and bring awareness to them. Really go into your body and explore what’s going on inside. Try making friends with your feelings and you’ll be surprised at how quickly they can subside.

4) Make a move: Sometimes all you need is a good old-fashioned push to get yourself back in the game, and who better to give yourself that push than yourself! Take a step, any step, just to get the energy flowing again. For me it was deciding to write a blog on the topic of not knowing what to write! But hey, I got a blog out of it, didn't I? ;) Maybe for you it’s doing ten jumping jacks, which will convince you that going to the gym is what your body really needs right now, or writing an introductory paragraph for the memo that your boss is waiting on. It doesn’t have to be a huge step, just something to get you moving in the right direction.

Finally, when all else fails:

5) Write a love letter to yourself: This is my new favorite self-love technique, and I can’t encourage you enough to get into a regular habit of celebrating yourself. Every time I do this, I realize more and more things to love about myself! Not only does this allow you to send yourself love and acceptance despite your inactivity, but it will also remind you of all your fabulous qualities. This will fill you with a sense of confidence which may be just what you need to get moving again!

I hope these suggestions have helped you. I'd love to hear about your experience with any of the above tips!

Love Letter to Myself

2010-01-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

With the new year upon us and resolutions in full swing, several people have emailed me over the last week or contacted me on Twitter asking me for my recommendations on the best self-help products for finding a romantic partner or manifesting more abundance. It seems that people everywhere are determined to make this the year they find true love or finally get their finances in order! You can find my recommendations for love here and abundance here, but I’d like to use this blog to reiterate the importance of self-love in creating your ideal life or manifesting specific results.

The truth is, until you can truly come to a place of loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are, results will ultimately always elude you because deep down you don’t feel deserving of the success you’re trying to achieve. I came up with exercise below (it's fun!) to help you get into a place of really loving yourself, which will speed up the process of attracting whatever you want to manifest in your life this year.

I call this exercise, “Writing a Love Letter to Myself.” Basically, you're going to do just what it sounds like. Take out a sheet of paper, or do this in your journal or on the computer. Next, get busy writing a love letter to yourself and describing all the wonderful things you love and adore about yourself! You could write about physical features, personality characteristics, things you have accomplished in life, basically anything you appreciate about yourself. And don't think you have to only focus on big things. You can even appreciate yourself just for doing this exercise!

For some of you this may seem extremely difficult, if not downright impossible or uncomfortable. We spend so much time beating ourselves up and trying to change things about ourselves, so at first it might be challenging to find things you truly love about yourself. Do the best you can, though, and if you keep looking I guarantee you will find lots of great things you love and adore about yourself!

Here’s an example taken from my own life:

Dear Mary,

I love the fact that you are so committed to personal and spiritual growth, and that you are determined to create your ideal life. I love that you have created a website to help others do that as well, and that your passion is helping others to achieve their wildest dreams. I love that you stay positive even on those days when you don’t feel so great, and that you always stay optimistic and focused on your ideal outcome. I love that you are constantly getting to know yourself on deeper levels, and are always improving your relationship with yourself.

I love you,
-Mary Knebel

Feel free to do this exercise several times or as many times as you need to really amp up your self-love. I guarantee you will feel better after doing this, and you may even realize you love things about yourself that you hadn’t even thought about!

If you’re single and want to manifest your ideal partner this year, write a love letter to yourself from your dream partner. In most cases you probably haven’t met them yet or don’t know who they are, but use your imagination to think about your ideal partner and think of things that he/she would find particularly attractive or appealing in you. Then write a love letter to yourself from that perspective and sign it from your future partner. You can even keep it and give it to them when they show up in your life!

This can be a useful exercise because sometimes we spend so much time focusing on the type of person we want to attract that we forget to focus on how they’re going to treat us. Sure, we want a person with specific qualities, but if they show up and don’t love us as we are then we’ve missed the point entirely. If you’ve ever met someone who has all the qualities you’re looking for but they're just not that into you, then you know exactly what I’m talking about!

I’d love to hear about your results with either of the above two exercises. Write away!

For additional self-love resources and exercises, be sure to check out the self-love page on my site.

Questions to Create Your Ideal Life

2010-01-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

With the excitement of the new year all around us, several people have asked me for recommendations on what the best self-help product on the market is, and if they could only dedicate themselves to just one product this year, which one would it be? Truthfully, it’s hard for me to narrow it down to just one; however, I did stumble upon a resource recently that has brought about noticeable results in my life. If you haven’t discovered them yet, you’re in for a treat! They’re called Afformations, by Noah St. John.

Yes, you read that correctly. They’re called Afformations, not Affirmations. Affirmations are phrases you repeat regularly in order to change your self-talk, or what you say to yourself on a regular basis. They can be highly effective in changing the way you see yourself, and therefore your results in the world. However, some people have difficulty with them because they just can’t get behind some of the things they’re saying. For example, if you’re trying to increase your cash flow and avoid foreclosure on your home, you might have difficulty affirming to yourself, “I am a millionaire. I have all the money I need.”

Afformations, on the other hand, are questions you ask yourself whereby you assume that whatever you are trying to create or attract has already manifested in your life. By asking yourself the question from a position of having versus lacking, your mind goes about looking for information to fill in the gaps! Afformations allow you to bypass all the objections or resistance your mind might put up with typical affirmations, because they assume that what you want is already a given and therefore no convincing of the mind is required! Essentially, Afformations are “empowering questions that cause your mind to focus on what you really want, and stop focusing on what you don’t want.”

Think about it, whenever you ask yourself a question your mind immediately goes off in search of an answer. Try it now. Ask yourself, “Why is the sky blue?” Didn’t your mind immediately try to find an answer to the question, even though it's a question most of us don't have an answer to? The problem is that the majority of us tend to ask ourselves negative questions all day long, like, “Why don’t things ever work out for me? Why doesn’t my boss like me? Why is life so hard?” By learning to ask yourself positive questions instead, you change your subconscious thought patterns from negative to positive and huge results will follow soon after!

Here’s how to create Afformations that will change your life:

Step 1: Ask yourself what you want.
Hopefully you already know what it is you want, but if not, get busy finding out! This could be anything, from getting a promotion, to losing weight, to simply finding more inner peace and happiness within yourself. Your goal can be as large or small as you want it to be.

Step 2: Create a question that assumes that what you want is already true.
Next, come up with a question that implies that you already have whatever it is you want, or that a specific condition or situation is already a part of your life. The creator of Afformations recommends phrasing all your questions beginning with the word “Why?” So you could ask yourself questions like:

• Why am I so rich?
• Why am I so happy?
• Why do things always work out for me?
• Why do people like me so much?
• Why does my marriage keep getting better and better, every single day?

And that’s it!

Now, you don't ever have to actually answer the new questions you are asking yourself. That’s not the point. Your subconscious mind will take care of all that for you. The key is in asking yourself better questions, and changing the focus of your mind. As you ask yourself better questions and steer your mind in a new direction, you shift the focus of your mind from a state of lack to having what you want. We all know that we get what we focus on, so eventually those things you are wanting will become a part of your life!

A note about taking action: I’ll be honest with you, I’ve found results from Afformations without even consciously introducing action into the equation. In my experience, once you begin asking yourself more empowering questions, you just naturally begin taking more action that lines up with what you want to create. It won’t even feel like taking action to you, because it will feel so natural and inevitable! Obviously, if you want to speed up your results, you can begin taking action that lines up with your new questions. For example, if one of your new questions to yourself is, “Why are my investments always so successful?”, you could go on-line and research various investment strategies. That's an example of an action step that would line up with your new question.

I listen to Afformations recordings almost every night as I fall asleep, and occasionally during the day on my iPod for reinforcement. I've been using them for about three months now, and not only do I feel more optimistic about the things I'm trying to create, but I can just tell that my mind works differently. Rather than focusing on the problem, I catch my mind looking for solutions! The things I want feel like a given, rather than some far-off question mark.

To learn more about this powerful resource, go here. This could be just the tool you've been looking for, that helps you finally create a life you're crazy about! You can thank me later:)

Lavish Yourself With Love

2010-01-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I don't know about you, but to me 2010 already feels much different than 2009. The excitement in the air is palpable, everyone is excited for the new decade, and the energy as a whole feels happier, lighter, and filled with opportunity. If you're having trouble coming up with resolutions (I prefer to call them "intentions"), be sure to check out my last post on creating effective resolutions. This is definitely your year to be successful!

One of my intentions for 2010 is to make my relationship with myself a true priority and to make this a year of self-love. I've got several exciting things in store related to self-love, which I will share with you at a later time, but in the meantime I wanted to pass along the following quote from Debbie Ford's "Create a Life You Love" newsletter. I couldn't have said it better myself, so I thought I would just copy it here. The picture below is also from Debbie's newsletter. Enjoy!

"Welcome to 2010, the healthiest, sexiest, richest, most exciting, magical and adventurous year of your life. Are you in? This is a year when you fall in love with yourself, your body, your career, your life, and all of those around you. This is a holy year when your highest self comes first. And instead of listening to the voice of your past, you tune in and listen to the voice of your own soul. You don't focus on getting, you focus on giving your greatest self to the world. You are going to the holy land of your highest expression."

To remind yourself of this throughout the year, I recommend displaying the picture and quote in a place where you can see it often. I'm actually going to put it up in a few different locations to remain focused!

If I can be of any assistance during this time of great renewal and change, please know that you are always welcome to contact me. My ebook, "Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life," is also a great source of information that will help you make 2010 your best year yet!

Guidelines for Effective Resolutions

2009-12-29T08:55:00.000-08:00

Let’s face it, practically all of us set New Year’s resolutions every year, and practically every year they don’t come true. Sure, we work hard on them for a week or two, and sometimes even a month! Slowly but surely, though, we forget all about them and our life returns to the way it was before. This doesn’t mean we should eliminate resolutions all together, because they can certainly be powerful tools in creating change in our lives. However, I’d like to suggest a different way we could go about setting resolutions this year, which will make them more effective and more likely to come true!

Here are some suggestions you might try implementing in 2010:

1) Set an intention: Instead of calling them New Year’s resolutions, try calling them New Year’s intentions. Sure, it sounds like the same thing, but there’s a slight difference. So many of us have set resolutions in years past and have been unsuccessful. Therefore, just hearing the word “resolution” has a negative connotation to it. In fact, those people who don’t set New Year’s resolutions say they don’t do it because they know they’re sure to fail! A resolution means you resolve to do something, and therefore if you aren’t successful you automatically assume you’re a failure. By calling it a New Year’s intention instead, you are signaling to yourself and the Universe that you are intending to create a change in your life and will do everything you can to make that change come true. However, because it’s an intention and not a resolution, you don’t have any excuse to beat yourself up if you're not successful. You still may not follow through as much as you would like, but at least you won't be so harsh on yourself!

2) Learn to love yourself: Instead of intending to do the same things you’ve probably tried in years past (like losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.), why not make this the year you finally learn to love and accept yourself, AS IS, once and for all?! So many people want to create change in their lives because they think that will finally make them happy. Without true self-love, however, you will never achieve the level of happiness and security that you think weight loss, making more money, finding your life partner, etc. will bring you. Start by learning to love yourself once and for all, and not only will you feel better as a whole, but all those other things you are hoping to achieve will manifest much easier in your life! See my last blog post for an exercise that will help you do just this.

3) Celebrate your successes: Be sure to acknowledge and reward yourself for all the great effort you put forth in 2009 and everything you accomplished, whether you set out to or not. Most people are so focused on what they want to change in 2010 that they completely forget to give themselves credit for what they achieved in 2009! Sit down and make a list of everything that went right in the past year. Celebrate yourself for all the successes you had, no matter how big or small. Not only will this help you reflect on how productive your last year really was, but doing this will fill you with a sense of accomplishment and lots of positive energy and motivation as you head into 2010!

4) Practice gratitude: Finally, be grateful for the resolutions you set in 2009 that didn’t pan out exactly the way you had hoped. There’s always an upside to every situation, and the sooner you can find it the better off you’ll be! Rather than beating yourself up for not having lost that ten lbs. last year, find the payoffs you gained from that situation. For example, maybe you were able to spend more time with your children because you weren’t spending so much time in the gym. Or maybe you didn’t get the job you were hoping for last year, but in turn that allowed you to start a successful online business instead. Even if the payoffs aren’t immediately obvious, keep looking and you’re sure to find them! The Universe always has your best interests in mind, so if you didn’t achieve something last year that you were hoping to it just means there was a bigger and better plan for you.

Here's to hoping that 2010 is your best year yet! If I can help you in any way or support you in achieving your dreams, you are always welcome to contact me.

2010: The Year of Self-Love!

2009-12-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

As 2009 winds down and 2010 is rapidly approaching, I’m sure that everyone is rushing to finish their holiday shopping and trying to come up with resolutions for the year ahead. Instead of setting the same old New Year’s resolutions as the year before, however, and probably the year before that, I’d like to suggest a different sort of resolution for 2010 that most people probably overlook. Instead of planning to finally lose that dreaded last ten lbs., or find your soulmate, or make more money, or quit smoking, etc. why not make 2010 the year you finally learn to love yourself, faults and all and make it the year of self-love?!

We’ve all heard that loving yourself is essential if you want to live a truly rewarding life, but how many of us can actually say we love ourselves deep down, exactly as we are. You may have even reached a place where you are able to love and accept yourself most of the time, but there are still a few areas where you are struggling to appreciate yourself day in and day out. Let's make this year where we finally make peace with every single place in ourselves, good, bad, and ugly! Not only will you feel a lot better as a whole, but all those other things you’re hoping to achieve will fall into place so much easier if you just love and accept yourself as you are.

Here’s an exercise I tried recently, and it is extremely powerful in getting you to a place of releasing shame and making peace with yourself as a whole. I found it in Byron Katie’s book, I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead and instantly recognized its potential and possibilities for increasing self-love. I encourage you to try this, and the more uncomfortable you are with it, the better!

First, take out a sheet of paper and think of someone in your life that you hide things from. It could be a spouse, parent, child, friend, etc., or even the planet as a whole! Now, imagine that you are writing a letter to this person (or people) and start out the letter by saying, “What I don’t want you to know about me is…” Then, list everything you would be ashamed of or embarrassed about if that person discovered these aspects about yourself. Things like, “I have cellulite on my thighs, I rarely pay my bills on-time, I can be really evil when someone crosses me, I act like I am holier than thou but usually I’m not, I often say no to plans with friends because I don’t really like them and would prefer to be by myself, etc.” You get the point. Anything you would not want this other person to find out about, include it in your list!

Once you’ve come up with a complete list, you’re going to turn it around and write a letter that starts out with, “What I do want you to know about me is…” and then list everything you listed in the first letter. So using the example above, it would look like this: “What I do want you to know about me is that I have cellulite on my thighs, I rarely pay my bills on-time, I can be really evil when someone crosses me, I act like I am holier than thou but usually I’m not, I often say no to plans with friends because I don’t really like them and would prefer to be by myself, etc.” List everything you listed in the first example, but this time approach it from a stance of wanting to share this information with the other person. (Don’t worry, you never have to share this letter with anyone if you don’t want to! This is just an exercise to help *you* in loving yourself.)

This can be an easy or difficult exercise, depending on how much you currently accept yourself and how in touch with your “darker” places you are. Some of you may have several things to list, whereas others of you may just have a few places inside that you haven’t fully come to terms with yet. If uncomfortable feelings come up while you do this exercise (which is completely normal!), then just take some time to simply be with yourself and be with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that arise. You may find yourself thinking things like, “I would be horrified if he ever knew that about me! He would leave me in a heartbeat.” or “There’s no way I could ever tell her I did that. She would never look at me the same again.” Simply notice the thoughts passing through your mind and the sensations you feel in your body. You don’t have to do anything with them except notice them. If you meditate then you know the power of watching your thoughts and feelings float by and not getting caught up in them.

After you’ve taken some time to simply be with yourself, and with the thoughts and feelings that arise from doing this exercise, I think you’ll feel much more at peace with the aspects of yourself that you previously thought were so unlovable. You may even actually find yourself loving them and appreciating them! Let's all learn how to love ourselves once and for all, and make 2010 the year of self-love.

Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

2009-12-08T08:18:00.000-08:00

I’m currently reading the book If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path
by Charlotte Kasl, which is a great read for anyone trying to introduce more love and spirituality in their life. She has a version for married couples, as well. I’ve been wanting to read this book for awhile now, and I'm glad I picked it up!

This is not your typical dating book that describes how to attract someone by acting according to certain rules, dressing a certain way, or playing a particular part. Instead, the basis of this book is that the only way to ever truly attract a genuine spiritual partnership into your life is to love and accept ALL of yourself (yes, even those parts that you don’t particularly like!) and allow your partner to love and accept those sides of yourself as well. With the divorce rate being as high as it is today, I would venture to say that most marriages and relationships are NOT founded on this premise! Instead, relationships are usually more about finding someone to "complete you," to fill up the holes in your life, and to take the blame if you're not happy. What about taking responsibility for your own happiness, though?

I’ve been in my fair share of relationships where both of us did our best to show the other person how desirable we were, while blatantly hiding and denying any “negative” characteristics of ourselves that might find their way into the relationship. And if we did ever expose any “dark” sides of ourselves, it certainly wasn’t our fault! It was always the other person’s fault for causing us to act in such an ugly way. Ultimately, though, relationships like these never work because sooner or later the less-than-perfect aspects of ourselves always show up, whether we like it or not. At that point, either person A begins to run away so person B doesn’t see their "dark" places, or person B pulls away because they are uncomfortable with the dark places person A is showing (not accepting, of course, that they have their own dark places as well!).

I’ve known since I was a very little girl that I don’t want just any marriage. I want a deeply spiritual, life partnership, in which I am free to be me, ALL of me. Obviously, this also means that I will support my partner in being all that he is, good, bad, and ugly! Sure, we’d all love to live in a perfect world where we're always happy, constantly loving and kind, faithfully living our true purpose, etc., but most of us are not living in that world on a daily basis, myself included. I have very up days, and I also have very down days, very scared days, and very angry days. I’d love to have a partner who sticks by my side and supports me, even on the “off” days. Personally, I find it very attractive when a man can admit he’s scared or feeling weak or powerless, no matter how macho he may appear on the outside!

In light of the recent Tiger Woods saga, it seems especially important to remember what’s important in keeping a solid relationship together. Even with all the money in the world, good looks, unmatched career success, and a beautiful wife and kids at home, Tiger’s life and marriage is obviously not all it’s cracked up to be. I wonder how much of his situation comes from a reluctance to show and admit weaker sides of himself because he's trying so desperately to present an image of perfection to the world. I definitely remember seeing photos of his wedding and thinking to myself, "Wow, he really has it all!" It seems that in his quest to uphold his image of a perfect life, something went seriously wrong.

It takes a lot to open up to those parts in ourselves that may be particularly scary or painful. In fact, some of us may have hidden those parts of ourselves so deeply inside that we begin to uncover emotional scars still lurking from when we were five years old! It can be a bit startling to realize that something that happened to you when you were five years old is sabotaging your current relationships. The trick is in learning to practice compassion and kindness for yourself, and accepting yourself for being human. We all have good points and bad points, strengths and weaknesses, and successes and failures. Learning to make friends with all the various places in yourself and accepting them will not only allow you to develop a much stronger relationship with yourself, but will help you in attracting a spiritual partner who will also love you for all your good points and bad points!

How Do You See Yourself?

2009-12-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

"Do not wait for the proof that you can be, do, or have what you want. BE it now in your mind." ~Eva Gregory

Let me ask you a question: How do you see yourself? No, I don’t mean when you look in the mirror or see a picture of yourself (despite the picture above!), but when you really look inside and see yourself in your mind's eye. If you were able to look down upon yourself from somewhere up in the sky, would you see yourself as happy, elated, and living the life of your dreams? Or do you see someone who’s angry, miserable, and can never catch a break? How you answer that question has a lot to do with the current circumstances of your life and the results you experience on a day-to-day basis!

If you see yourself as someone who always succeeds and makes things work, then you’re probably more open to taking risks and have a way of making things happen in your life. However, if you see yourself as more of a victim for whom things never work out, then you’re probably less likely to take chances or if you do, you might subconsciously sabotage yourself so that things always end up looking like a failure.

Try the following exercise and see what happens:

Find a quiet spot where you can sit or lie quietly undisturbed for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths, and allow yourself to completely relax and release all tension from your body. Next, imagine yourself flowing out of your body and looking down upon yourself from somewhere up in the sky. Just use your imagination for this, and pretend that you can look down on yourself. Pick a few different scenes from your daily life and observe yourself from above.

What do you see? Are you happy and filled with joy as you go about your life, or sad and lonely? Are you open and welcoming to others, or closed off and hiding behind layers of emotional walls? How do you look and act in different scenarios and surrounded by different people? Be sure to “observe yourself” from above especially in those areas where you regularly experience difficulties in life, i.e. work, relationships, family, etc.

Remember, whatever vibe or energy we send out into the world is multiplied by the law of attraction and creates the results we experience in our lives. If you’ve been having difficulty with a particular situation for awhile now, see if this exercise helps you see what vibe you are sending out to the Universe. Sometimes the way we are seen by others and the Universe as a whole is completely different than how we perceive ourselves (both in good ways and in bad!).

David Cameron Gikandi says, “Life is images of the mind, expressed. What this means is that Life, The Source, uses your thoughts, your mental images, as the instructions by which to create your reality in the material world. Life expresses your mental images into physical reality.” Whatever you are focused on in your mind and how you see yourself determines what you create in your existence.

The good news is, if you don’t like the way you see yourself or if your self-image doesn't line up with what you are trying to create in life, you can easily change it! Instead of seeing yourself as someone who can never make a relationship work, hates their job, and can never get ahead financially, use the power of your imagination to see yourself as someone who is married to your perfect partner, succeeding in your dream career, and making more than enough money to take vacations to exotic locales (or whatever appeals to you). For even faster results, visualize yourself living your ideal life for 15 minutes a day and in no time at all you'll be living a brand new life!

To learn more about the power of visualization be sure to check out my ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life. You will learn why visualization is so crucial in creating a life that makes you excited to jump out of bed every single morning!

Dissolving Your Blocks to Success

2009-11-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

I participated in a personal growth workshop recently and one of the exercises we did was a guided visualization, in which we were asked to visualize receiving a gift or important message that we particularly need at this time. While I didn’t see anything during the visualization in terms of an actual, physical gift, the following four words came to me repeatedly throughout:
Allow, Embrace, Include and Integrate. Obviously these words could mean entirely different things to different people, but for me these words spoke really clearly to me in terms of dissolving blocks to success.

I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to the blocks that each of us have that get in the way of achieving success (whatever that looks like for you: wealth, ideal career, self-confidence, etc.), most of us would do anything we can to get rid of these blocks. We figure that the block is what's holding us back from getting what we want, so we must eliminate and destroy it at all costs!! There are a TON of ways we do this, but the goal is always to label the block as "wrong" and try to wipe it out completely.

But what if instead of trying so desperately to get rid of these blocks or get them out of the way, we actually invite them into our awareness, thereby allowing them, embracing them, including them and integrating them into our experience. Rather than doing everything in our power to destroy them, what if we acknowledge and accept them, explore them, and even consider learning from them!

If you subscribe to my newsletter, then you know I’ve been on a self-love kick lately. What better way to increase our self-love than to love ALL of ourselves, blocks and all! Try out this exercise the next time you feel stuck and let me know what you think. I think you’ll really like it:)

Think of something you are currently trying to achieve in life, but are having trouble accomplishing. It could be your ideal relationship, your desired weight, a promotion at work, anything that is important to you right now. Got something? Now imagine that whatever is holding you back is an actual feeling in your body. Even if you’ve never thought of it this way before, do so now. This means that you can’t blame your stuckness on the economy, or a stubborn spouse, or an ignorant boss. Go ahead and imagine that whatever is holding you back from achieving your desire is an actual feeling or sensation in your body, and figure out where in your body that feeling is.

Once you’ve located that feeling, take some time to really get in touch with it and get to know it as best as you can. For example, how big is it? Does it have a color, and if so, what it is? What texture is it? Does it feel heavy and dense or light and airy? Does it change shape and move around while you observe it, or stay stationary in one spot? Keep exploring this feeling and learning as much about it as possible! Instead of trying so hard to completely destroy this block, see what happens if you take some time to familiarize with it and find out what it’s all about.

Next, take this one step further and see if you can reach out from within you and actually give this feeling a hug! This can feel a bit strange since it’s just a feeling and not a concrete person or thing, but try this anyway and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel once you make friends with your block. You may even want to try imagining that you’re taking your block for a walk in the park, or that you’re on a swing set swinging back and forth with it.
Have fun with this!

Instead of running away from feelings that seem uncomfortable or burdensome, we can learn to make peace with them and accept them as they are. Once this happens, not only will you feel a lot better as a whole, but you’ll probably find that the feeling you were trying so desperately to get rid of actually dissolves all on its own! You may go looking for it and find that it's no longer anywhere to be found! "Whatever we resists persists,” so when we resist something we keep our attention focused on it and keep it stuck firmly in place. When you stop resisting something, however, and make friends with it or simply allow it to be there, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that it usually takes a hike all by itself. Once that happens, your success is right around the corner. :)

"Money Mojo Magic"

2009-11-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

Ever since I started my website, the two questions I’m constantly asked are, “How do I create more money in my life?” and “How can I find my ideal partner?” I’ve got several relationship resources listed on my site (including a few new ones), but if you’re looking to increase the amount of cash flowing into your life, look no further! Occasionally I’ll be highlighting specific resources on this blog that I think are particularly effective, and this is one of those times.

Money Mojo Magic, by Jeannette Maw, is one of the best products I’ve seen in a long time for attracting money into your experience, and I’ve seen a lot. I literally started making more money the exact same day I read the ebook! (It’s a quick read, so it won’t be long before you start noticing results, too). Even though I've been studying this stuff for years, somehow this program helped me grasp money creation in a whole new way. And it's a lot easier than we've all been told!

Jeannette is a highly-regarded master law of attraction coach, and as a result this program comes entirely from a law of attraction stance. Therefore, just to be clear, this is not a program that talks about the actual steps to take in the real world to increase money, like investing in the stock market, or saving a certain amount every month. There are plenty of resources out there for that! Instead, this product addresses the real cause of all your money struggles or successes: your mindset and your overall vibe regarding money.

The truth is, until you get your beliefs and energy lined up with attracting more money into your life, all the “real-world” actions you take just won’t help. Any money you might make will eventually slip through your fingers and you’ll be right back where you started! This explains why professional athletes and lottery winners typically lose all their money within two years of receiving it. Until you've prepared yourself internally for large amounts of money, you won't see large amounts of money on the outside, no matter how many jobs you work, how much you save, or how much you invest.

I’ve been actively practicing the law of attraction since way before the movie "The Secret" came out, and I can tell you that it works. Whenever I start putting more energy, attention, and focus on creating more money, my bank balance increases. Conversely, when I start worrying about losing money or not making enough, that’s exactly when unexpected expenses pop up or I find myself shopping more than normal! Money Mojo Magic helps explain the upper limit phenomenon, which is at the heart of this problem. You'll also love this product because it shows you how to use the law of attraction to create other things in life besides money, like your ideal relationship, more energy, great health, your dream home, etc.

To learn more about how to change your results with money once and for all, go here. A workbook is included to help you uncover your current patterns, as well an hour-long audio. You will love Jeannette’s high energy and infectious laugh!

Self-Love Saturdays!

2009-11-09T18:14:00.000-08:00

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know that a few weeks ago I initiated a new tradition called Self-Love Saturdays! I’ve been on my own self-love kick the past couple months, and have been participating in the seven-week Self-Love Studio teleseminar series (there's still a few weeks left to participate). The addition of Self-Love Saturdays to my life has been a perfect complement to everything else I've been doing, and I'm highly considering making it a weekly occurrence!

For me, this basically means setting aside an entire day, just for me! I have the whole day to do whatever I like, no questions asked. On these days I’ve intentionally not made any plans, so I have the entire day for me, tending to and nurturing myself however I see fit. I’ve been doing things like napping, taking long baths, meditating, attending yoga classes, doing the mirror exercise, reading, watching movies by candlelight, listening to peaceful music and soothing visualizations, etc. You get the idea! Obviously, depending on what you like to do, these things may or may not appeal to you so feel free to substitute other activities.

The point of having a self-love day is to create some time and space for YOU, and indulge in whatever your heart desires. For me, it is rest and relaxation. For others, it is going for a long run or playing a game of tennis that they can’t normally fit into their schedule. Some people (not me!) might feel better running tons of errands and checking things off their to-do list. Whatever calls to you, that’s what you do on your self-love day.

By setting aside an entire day for yourself (or even an hour if that’s all you have), you are signaling to both yourself and the Universe that you are important and that you are making yourself a priority. Remember, the way we treat ourselves is the way the world around us will treat us, so the higher we value ourselves the higher everyone else will value us! If you have a family or children it may be unrealistic to dedicate an entire day to yourself, but I still encourage you to slip away for an hour or two if you can and devote that time to yourself. An on-the-go yoga class or a quick walk in the park will do wonders for your soul!

Above all, it’s important on your self-love day to periodically check in with yourself to make sure that what you’re doing is what your body needs at the time. You may have set aside time to take a nap or read a book, but then realize that what your body actually needs is a walk outside in the fresh air. Be flexible and open to changing your plans! Again, this is all about you and giving yourself whatever you need. No questions asked and no guilt allowed. :)

For additional resources to help increase the amount of self-love in your life, be sure to go here.

Writing a Letter from Your Future Self

2009-11-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

I’m always looking for fun and effective self-help tools and techniques that will allow me to create my ideal life and manifest everything I could possibly desire, and I recently stumbled upon the exercise below. This is a variation of an old tool I’ve heard of before and I think you’ll have a lot of fun with this! Thanks to Apryl Jensen at www.creatingconsciously.com for this fabulous idea.

The instructions are simple, but don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this exercise. This is powerful stuff that can truly help you create the life of your dreams!

You’re going to write a letter to a friend or family member from ten years in the future, as if everything you are hoping will come true in the next ten years of your life has already come true. You're not going to actually send this letter (although you can if you want!), so pick anyone you feel comfortable with that you want to address this letter to. Once you've selected that individual, write a letter to them as if you haven't seen them in the past ten years and want to catch them up on everything wonderful that has been going on in your life. Tell them about all the amazing success you've had and all the goals you've accomplished since you last spoke with them.

For example, if you’re hoping to be married with children, write the letter as if you are already married with children and give the names and ages of your children. If you’re hoping to open a business or be financially free, write the letter from the standpoint of those things having already come to pass in your life. You might write about your booming business and describe all the fabulous vacations abroad you've taken!

Not only will this allow you to get in touch with what your goals and dreams are, but by writing them down you are actually increasing the odds that they’ll manifest in your reality! Research has shown time and time again that people who write down their goals are much more likely to achieve them than people who don’t.

If you already have a ten-year plan and know what you hope to achieve in the next ten years, great! You can go ahead and get started on your letter right away. If you’re like me, though, and haven’t put much thought into your five and ten-year plans, you may want to spend some time in meditation or do some journaling to get in touch with your deepest desires and uncover what you hope to see happen over the next several years of your life. Deciding what you want to happen is actually the most difficult part of the exercise. Sitting down and writing it is the fun part!

The key to this exercise is to use as much detail as possible and really get into it. It’s okay if you don’t know all the details of what you want to happen, just allow yourself to have fun with this. Start with what you already know and new ideas will surely come to you once you begin writing. Describe who will be in your life, where you will be living, what sort of career you have, what your financial situation is like, what you do for fun, etc. Be sure to include anything and everything that is important to you!

If the thought of writing this letter seems a bit daunting to you, you’re in good company. This exercise is actually a little frightening to me, because I know how effective this sort of tool is! Anyone who has done any pray rain journaling knows how quickly goals come to pass when you write them down as if they have already happened. Don’t be surprised if in ten years everything you wrote in your letter has come to pass exactly as you said it would. ;)

Keeping a Love Journal

2009-10-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite techniques for creating my ideal life and making things happen is keeping an evidence journal (see #7). This is a journal in which you record evidence that whatever it is you are desiring is on its way to you. Not only does this help you keep your thoughts and feelings positive and in a good vibration, but it also speeds up your manifestation because it keeps you focused on what you are trying to create!

I have so much fun keeping evidence journals that awhile back I decided to create an evidence journal with a twist... I started keeping a love journal! Instead of listing all the evidence that a particular goal or thing is on its way to me, I list all the ways I am loved. And let me tell you, I have more love in my life than I ever realized!

To keep a love journal, all you need is a journal, a pen, and the willingness to open yourself up to more love then you ever imagined was possible! Every day at the end of the day, preferably right before going to bed, take out your journal and list 5-10 things that demonstrate how loved you really are. Not only will this show you how much love is already present in your life, but thanks to the law of attraction it will also allow you to start attracting even more love into your life! (Remember, whatever you focus on expands...)

Although you can certainly list ways that you feel loved by your significant other, you also want to focus on other ways you feel loved in general. Have fun with this and really let your imagination run wild with all the various ways you are loved. You can list ways you feel loved by individual people, your pets, random strangers, the Universe, God or your Higher Power, life as a whole, etc.

Some examples might be:

• That person at the bank let me go in front of them today.
• My significant other brought flowers home unexpectedly.
• My dog gave me sloppy kisses at the end of the day.
• I got a raise and promotion at work!

To really amp up your self-love, be sure to list ways you love yourself as well, like:

• I allowed myself to indulge in a warm bubble bath after work.
• I didn't beat myself up for missing my workout this morning.
• I did the mirror exercise every day this week.
(see article here for description of the mirror exercise)

Again, really allow yourself to get creative with all the different ways you are loved. Also, feel free to decorate the cover of your journal if it helps you get in the spirit!

Keep doing this exercise regularly and I think you will be astonished by how loved you really are, no matter what is currently going on in your life!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Take Back the Reins!

2009-09-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

It’s official, folks… I’ve been feeling seriously overwhelmed lately, so I’m taking back the reins and taking back control of my life!! Who’s with me?

I started my website back in January and it was the fulfillment of a dream I've had for several years now. I’ve always wanted to have an on-line business where I compile and recommend the best self-help resources I’ve found over the years to create my ideal life. I love self-help books and could honestly spend hours upon hours reading them, and I wanted to create a place where I could share what I've learned with others. So I was super excited when I finally took the plunge and created my site, and even more excited when people really seemed to resonate with what I was doing!

At some point along the way, though, my website has started feeling more like a job than a creative and fun outlet for me. Writing blog posts and publishing my bi-weekly newsletter used to be rewarding and exciting for me, but now they just feel like extra tasks to add to my already lengthy to-do list. I find myself not wanting to get word out about my ebook, even though I know the information it contains can truly change lives and allow others to fulfill their wildest dreams!

As part of my plan to use fall as a time to reconnect with myself and my dreams, I took some time this weekend and curled up with my journal to figure out what’s really going on with me. I made some interesting discoveries, and I think what I discovered may help you, too!

I realized that I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed lately because I’ve lost touch with and control over my vision for my website. Initially I saw my site as a place where I would list products I had discovered along my journey and had received value from. Lately, though, people have been coming out of the woodwork to pitch products and resources they want me to list on my site! And while I am *extremely* grateful and appreciative that people want to be involved with my project and support what I'm doing, I’ve also realized that I’m losing control of what I envisioned for my website in the very beginning. Rather than being able to enjoy my on-line business as a means to explore my passion of self-help and personal growth, I feel like my website has turned into a means for other people to promote their products and put their interests first, while little old me is kind of getting pushed to the side!

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely happy to help others promote their materials (if they are worthwhile), but I don’t want to lose sight of my initial goal for my website. I think that part of what makes my website different than others, and special, is that I've been reading self-help books for years and can spot the real thing a mile away while weeding out the fluff. I don't want to take away the integrity I've been striving so hard to establish on my site.

So, all that to say I’m taking back the reins and I encourage you to do the same!

Are there areas in your life where you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe even burnt out?

Check in with yourself to see if your needs and wants are still getting met, or if you are just existing to make others happy. Are the actions you're carrying out still in-line with the overall vision you have for your life (or your business, your relationship, etc.)? Are you still getting a sense of joy or exhiliration from the activities that used to make you happy? If not, find ways to reconnect with your larger desires and what you're trying to achieve. I'm going to be implementing some new practices with respect to my website that ensure that my needs and wants are still being seen and heard!

A good reminder is what they say on airplanes: Put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child’s oxygen mask! After all, we have to be able to breathe and flourish if we are going to be there to help others breathe and fully flourish.

Using Fall as a Time to Reconnect with Ourselves

2009-09-14T06:38:00.001-07:00

I published this article in my last newsletter, but I thought it would be a good post to repeat here. (Be sure to sign up for my newsletter here!)

It’s just recently turned fall where I live (in Washington, DC) and I can definitely say that fall is my favorite time of the year. Time to put away the shorts and tank tops, and get out the jeans, comfy sweaters, and blankets to snuggle under while reading a good book! I love the colors of the changing leaves, the cooler temperatures, and just the overall slower pace of life (maybe that’s just me) as we prepare for winter.

Maybe one of the reasons I like fall so much is because the changing weather is a great excuse for me to stay in, catch up on my reading and to-do lists, and reconnect with my vision for myself and my life. I’d like to invite you to do the same, even it’s not the fall season where you live!

Let’s be honest, any time is a great time to reconnect with ourselves, check in on how we’re doing with our goals, and plot a strategy for the upcoming months before year’s end. Many of you may have set goals that you wanted to accomplish in 2009, and now’s a perfect time to monitor your progress on them and make any adjustments or changes to your goals if needed.

I’m not normally a “set measurable goals” type of person, although I’d like to become one! It's been said that the best goals are the ones that are specific, quantifiable, and measurable, so that you know exactly what you’re going after and will know exactly when you’ve achieved them. Normally I’m more of a “go with the flow” type of person, but I’m going to take some time this fall to come up with some measurable goals that I can go after before year’s end and also in the upcoming year. Heck, maybe I’ll even set goals for my five-year and ten-year plans! It’s never too early (or too late) to come up with a vision for your future and start pursuing it.

It’s also a good idea to periodically check in with yourself and see how you’re doing in the self-care arena. Summer is a time when a lot of people are outdoors all the time and extremely active. It’s easy to neglect ourselves and our bodies during the summer, so the fall is a great time to reconnect with our self-care practices. I’m going to make a firmer commitment to do yoga twice a week, and meditate as often as I can (even just for 5-minute stretches!). Sleep is always important to me, so I want to make sure I’m getting enough every night and on the weekends. What are some self-care practices you can recommit to in the coming months?

I also just signed up for a Conscious Loving & Living retreat with Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks at the beginning of October, which I am super excited about! I’ve been huge fans of theirs for years, and I can’t wait to learn from them first-hand. Personal growth conferences are also really restorative times for me because I get to connect with like-minded people, absorb as much information as possible, and just really get in touch with my authentic self. Are there any vacations you can take or retreats you can attend before winter arrives to help you reconnect with your authentic self?

I know some people don’t particularly like the fall because the leaves are falling off the trees, winter is quickly approaching, and it reminds them more of death or dying than possibility or opportunity. However, for me the fall is a great time to reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our plans for the future, and take some time to be less active and go inward to find out what our latest inner yearnings are. I hope you’ll take some time to really enjoy the changing seasons, no matter where in the world you are!

Self Help Best Practices

2009-09-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

I read A LOT of self help books and participate in a ton of self help programs, but trust me when I say it can be overwhelming (not to mention exhausting!) to implement all the advice and suggestions that are out there. Much of the stuff I come across is spot-on and has helped me create really fantastic results in my life. However, some of it is just so-so and hasn’t produced any results for me at all.

In an effort to help you sort through the myriads of self help techniques and information that exist in our world today, I've compiled a list of some my favorite self help practices that I’ve come across over the years (and used successfully). I've featured resources on my website for several of the techniques mentioned below, so if you would like additional resources be sure to click on the pink links!

Here's my list, in no particular order: (drumroll, please!)

1) Pray Rain Journaling: This is a simple, yet highly effective, technique whereby you keep a journal and write in it daily (or as often as you can) as if whatever you are trying to manifest in your life has already come true. The more imagination and details you can use in your journal entries, the better. The story goes that by the time you’ve finished your journal, your manifestation will either have already arrived or be well on its way to doing so! I use this technique in my own life and have created several amazing outcomes with it.

2) The Mirror Exercise: Learn how to love yourself once and for all with this exercise, which even some of the top self help gurus use in their own lives. Look in the mirror every night before bedtime, and flow as much love, acceptance, and compassion to yourself as you can. Also, be sure to acknowledge yourself for all the things you accomplished throughout the day. This may feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward the first few times you try it. Before you know it, though, you will be feeling extra great about yourself!

3) Visualization: I cannot recommend this method highly enough. Use your imagination to create pictures in your mind of what your ideal life looks like, or ideal scenarios you'd like to bring to fruition. Add as much detail to the pictures as you can, just like if you were watching a movie in your mind. Make sure to put yourself in your visualizations, and imagine yourself enjoying the presence of whatever it is you are trying to create. Do this even for just five minutes a day, and you will notice results in no time! For extra power, while doing your visualizations, really feel the feelings in your body that you would be experiencing if your manifestations had already come true.

4) Gratitude Journal: This is a particularly effective strategy to use if you notice yourself feeling like things just aren’t going well for you. Every day, record all the things you are currently grateful for in your life, no matter how large or small. You will be amazed at how much you really do have to be grateful for, even before all your dreams have manifested. You want to also list things you are intending to create in your life, but which haven’t arrived yet. Expressing gratitude for these things in advance, before they make an appearance in your reality, actually speeds up their arrival!

5) Meditation: If you have a particularly busy mind (and really, who doesn’t?), then this technique is a must-do. Even just five minutes of meditation a day can really change your life! Find a quiet spot in your home or office where you will be undisturbed and can have some time to yourself. Bring your focus inward, and take a few deep breaths to relax. Once you feel centered within yourself, bring your attention to your breathing. Just observe your breaths as you inhale in and out. If your mind wanders (which it will), just gently bring your attention back to your breath. Do this regularly and notice how much more calm and relaxed you feel!

6) Positive Aspects Journal: This idea comes from the original law of attraction teachers, Abraham-Hicks. This will help you turn around your thoughts about a “negative” situation or relationship in no time! Simply choose something that is bothering you, let’s say your significant other, and list as many positive aspects about him or her as you can. Only focus on the positive qualities of that individual, not the negative ones. Doing this on a regular basis has turned around many a relationship, and caused people to fall in love with their spouse or partner all over again! You can also use this technique on a particular situation that you feel badly about. List all the benefits you are actually experiencing from the so-called “negative” situation, and before you know it your situation will have completely turned around!

7) Evidence Journal: I love this technique! If there is something specific you are trying to create (a new relationship, new career, weight loss, etc.), it can often be frustrating if it seems like it’s not arriving fast enough. Start keeping an evidence journal, though, and you will notice that whatever it is you desire IS on its way to you, much faster than you realized! Record all the evidence you notice that your dream is coming true and that you are on the right path. Often times we overlook all the evidence that shows us our dream is just around the corner. By focusing on the evidence, not only will we feel better about our situation, but we actually speed up our particular manifestation!

Finally, if you're intrigued by the techniques above and would love to learn even more of my favorite self help practices, be sure to check out my new ebook! My ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life: Everything I've Learned from Reading Hundreds (Maybe Thousands!) of Self Help Books Over the Years, has an abundance of tips, techniques, and resources that will have you leading your ideal life in no time! To read reviews and learn more, go here.

Being Seen for Who You Are

2009-09-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

“Your intent should pour out of you. It should emanate from every cell of your being so that you attract the people and circumstances that can support you in manifesting your desires.”
~ Dianne Collins

This is a bit of a follow-up to the last post I wrote, but it’s such an important topic that I figure we can never get enough of it! I’m reading a good book right now called Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships,which came highly recommended by a friend of mine. I’m only about halfway through it, but so far I’ve really resonated with one of the concepts in it: that of being seen, or telling the truth about yourself and who you are.

The premise of the book, at least from what I’ve read so far, is that the lack and emptiness that most of us feel in our lives comes from an absence of being unconditionally loved. Deep down, what we are all craving is a deep sense of unconditional love and acceptance, for being exactly who we are. Problem is, most of us have never experienced this because our society is not really set up this way. Instead, we are usually taught to hide who we really are in order to achieve success as society has determined for us. The author of the book, Greg Baer, says that being seen is one of the ways of finally obtaining this elusive unconditional love that we are all seeking.

Being seen means expressing the truth of who you are, without fear of rejection or concern for what other people will think of you. It means authentically being who you are deep down, even when telling your truth might not be the easiest or most comfortable thing to do. The author says that in order to feel unconditionally loved, you have to express yourself, ALL of yourself, and ultimately be loved and accepted, even for those parts of yourself that may make you seem flawed or less than perfect. His point is that by showing these parts of yourself that you normally don't let others see, there will inevitably be people in your life who will love you, in spite of these "flaws," and then you will not be ashamed of these aspects of yourself anymore. Instead, you will feel unconditionally loved!

I really like the quote at the top of this post because for me it represents what it means to truly be seen and to show yourself to others. Who you are should radiate from you so much that people can get a real sense of you, without even asking! If someone were to meet you and spend just five minutes with you, could they get a good sense of who you are and what you are about? Even if you can't discover specific details about someone in five minutes, you can usually tell if they are happy, angry, friendly, joyful, annoyed, optimistic, hopeful, etc., just by the way they carry themselves. Are you expressing who you truly are on a daily basis?

I know before I started my www.selfhelpgoddess.com website, I was definitely not authentically expressing myself! I was expressing part of who I am, but there was this whole other side of me that I was basically hiding from others. I had never really met others with such a deep interest in personal growth, so I just didn’t bring it up in conversations or share that part of myself with friends.

I took my first step towards really being seen last year when I went to the Breakthrough to Success conference with Jack Canfield. I had no idea what to expect, but I was so surprised when I discovered that there are a TON of other people out there, just like me! It was as if I was coming home. :) I met all these fabulous people who have the same interest in improving themselves, becoming the best they can be, and making all their dreams come true, just like me. Now that I’ve started my website, I get emails almost on a daily basis from others who have been to my site and can relate to my story or resonate with what I’m trying to do. I wish I would have started showing this side of myself sooner!

Of course, you want to be careful in who you choose to start expressing yourself to, especially if you’ve made it a habit of hiding your true self from others your entire life. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with your new openness about who you are. You can start out with baby steps, though, and make larger strides as you go along.

It's also especially important to remember that if you do allow others to begin seeing more of you and they react in a negative way, it's NEVER about you!! It's always about them, period. It's just an indication that they are not entirely comfortable with who they are yet, and are still hiding parts of themselves from others.

Are there areas in your life where you could start allowing others to see more of who you really are?

Loving Yourself: What Does It Mean?

2009-08-24T08:13:00.001-07:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne WilliamsonYou’ve probably heard it before, but it bears repeating here: self-love is the key to everything you could ever possibly want in life. Sounds great, right? But what the heck is self-love and how do you love yourself, especially when we’ve been taught our whole lives that love is for others?

Loving yourself means that you value and appreciate yourself, exactly as you are. It means recognizing that you are worthy of all the good things that life has to offer, just for being you! You are aware of all your strengths and positive aspects, and use them to your advantage. You are also mindful of your weaknesses and flaws, but you treat yourself kindly in spite of them. You realize that these are just qualities that you’re still working on and developing. :)

Above all, to me, loving yourself means expressing yourself, your entire self, authentically and without reserve, whether or not the world around you agrees with you. It means sticking to your path, even if you’re the only one currently on it. It means being the person you know deep down you are meant to be, even if the people around you would rather you be someone else entirely! Sure, there are times when fully expressing yourself is not appropriate to the situation at hand. On the whole, however, I believe it is extremely important to authentically be yourself as much as humanly possible.

Deep down, all of us have these amazing gifts, talents, and passions that we were born with and are meant to bring to the world. In fact, we have actually been given these specific passions and special gifts because we are *supposed* to be expressing them in our lives! So many of us stifle our self-expression, though, and just stick to the daily grind, doing the same thing day in and day out, and then wonder why things aren’t working out for us.

Here are some ways you can start loving yourself more today:

• Indulge in your passions, even if your family and friends don’t understand them or agree with them;

• Find a way to make money doing what you love, so you can ultimately pursue a career that truly gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment;

• Say no to activities that you really don't feel like doing, and instead spend the time at home relaxing or doing something you do feel like doing;

• Stop spending time with people you have nothing in common with, and start cultivating friendships with people you do share comment interests with;

• Surround yourself with friends who not only love and appreciate you as a person, but encourage you to go for your biggest dreams;

• Only entertain romantic relationships in which you are allowed to be the best possible version of yourself and shine your light freely, rather than having to hide who you truly are or play small to accommodate the other person.

These are a just a handful of suggestions to start loving yourself, but even implementing a fraction of any them will bring huge changes to your life! Not to mention, as explained in the above quote from Marianne Williamson, loving yourself and expressing yourself fully actually gives people around you permission to do the same. Rather than a world where everyone tries to play small to fit in and be liked by others, wouldn't the world be a much better place if we were all allowed to shine our light brightly, authentically be who we truly are, and freely use our unique gifts and talents to create lives we are truly passionate about?

I think so! :)

For more self-love tips and resources, be sure to check out the
self-love page of my website.

Telling a New Story

2009-08-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

The process of telling a new story is a highly effective technique for creating quick change in your life. In essence, everyone is always telling a story about how their life currently is, i.e. “I’m in a relationship that’s just not working, my friends are all moving away, I don’t really like my job, and overall my life is just okay right now.” Of course, stories can be positive, too! For example, “I absolutely love my life because everything always works out for me, no matter what happens. I’m pursuing my ideal career, and success comes to me at every turn. I’m in a rewarding and fulfilling relationship with my soulmate, and things just keep getting better and better, every single day!”

If your story about your life tends to sound more like the first one described above, have no fear! In order to create better results in your life, it’s as simple as changing your story to reflect one that is more like the second story described above (substituting whatever it is you really want to attract).

In order to change your reality or whatever you are currently experiencing, you need to start telling a new story. Whether you realize it consciously or not, right now you are telling a story of how things *are* in your life. To bring about change, you'll need to start telling a new story about the way you want things to be. Don’t focus on the way things are going now, focus on how you WOULD LIKE your life to be!

Not too long ago I heard about a couple that had won the lottery multiple times. Each time before they won their prize, they had actually been telling anyone who would listen that they had already won the lottery! They would tell the man behind the counter at the gas station, the waitress at their favorite restaurant, etc. Not long after they started doing this, they won the lottery, not once, but twice!

Currently, I am working with a lovely coaching client who is in the process of creating a new living situation because she wants to move out of the home she is living in. I encouraged her to start telling a new story, and actually begin looking at apartments and telling the rental agents she's looking for a new place to live! Even though she’s not quite ready to move just yet, she can still begin attending open houses and speaking to others as if she is currently in the market. Try this out in your own life, and before you know it your new reality will have arrived right before your eyes!

• If you're single, start telling a brand new story about how you're married to your one and only.

• If you're ready for a new job, tell others about how you just landed the career of your dreams.

• If losing weight is your goal, begin telling a new story about how you finally lost those stubborn last ten lbs. and you're feeling better than ever!

Tell this new story about how you want your life to look to anyone who will listen. If you have a friend, family member, or significant other who will play along, tell them your new story about your dream life as if it has *already* happened. If a telemarketer calls, go ahead and tell them your new story! They’ll never know the difference. If you don’t have anyone you trust or feel safe telling your new story to, be sure to at least tell this new story often in your own mind. Take a walk and talk to yourself about how wonderful your life is, how fulfilled you are, how well everything is going, how much money you have, etc.

**If you want to join a small, intimate group of like-minded creators who will be telling their new stories, creating their ideal lives, and having a TON OF FUN, sign up for my 4-week telecourse, which begins Tuesday, September 1. More details here.

Here's to some serious storytelling fun!

Relationships As Mirrors

2009-08-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

Have you heard that what you don’t like in others is actually what you don’t like about yourself? Ouch!! I remember when I first read about this several years ago in Debbie Ford's book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams.I was taken aback, but also felt like I had stumbled across something that had huge potential to change my life and my relationships (romantic and otherwise).

When people first hear this, typically their reaction is something along the lines of: “There’s no way that’s possible. I can’t stand that person, so how can it possibly mean I am just like that person?!” If you dig deep enough and really look within yourself, though, eventually you can always see that whatever you are disliking in someone else can also be found somewhere within you. In fact, it is actually a part of yourself that you have disowned or not accepted, maybe years ago without your conscious awareness, and it is now trying to gain your approval and acceptance. Because you have not owned it within yourself, you have projected it onto someone else where it is more “acceptable.”

Here’s how this works: Say you have a boss or colleague at work that is SERIOUSLY getting on your nerves. This is probably not too hard for many of us to imagine! You probably know every last thing about them that annoys you on a regular basis. Instead of letting them get to you and giving them power over you, though, I encourage you to take back power over yourself!

The next time they irritate you, rather than just automatically getting annoyed and muttering to yourself how x, y, or z they are, identify what it is you don’t like about them and turn the mirror to look within yourself. Can you see within yourself that sometimes, in certain situations, you have a tendency to act like they act when they are being especially annoying? Can you think back to an occasion where you exhibited the same sort of behavior that they are currently exhibiting? Even just one time?

Once you’ve found that quality or characteristic within yourself (and it's there!), the next step of the process is to begin accepting yourself, in spite of having that characteristic. Hey, we are all human so there’s no use beating yourself up for it anymore! Begin to accept and own that quality within yourself, regardless of whether or not you think that particular aspect of yourself is a good or bad. Self-love is the name of the game folks, so just make a commitment to owning all the different parts of yourself, no matter what judgments you may have about them! Even if you ultimately want to change that aspect of yourself, you first have to accept it before you can ever truly change it.

What happens next is really amazing! Don’t be surprised if all of a sudden the person disappears from your life completely or just drops the behavior that was bothering you, sometimes instantly. The minute you accept that quality within yourself, either a) it won’t bother you so much in the other person because you realize that you have the same capacity to act in the same way at times or b) they will literally just stop exhibiting the behavior all together or will simply cease to exist in your life! It seems truly magical when this happens, but in fact it’s not magic at all. It's a process that works time and time again if you let it. Sometimes it may take owning and accepting those qualities within yourself a few times before you notice results in the outside world, but stick with it and things *will* change!

I recently read another book that I highly recommend, which reminded me of this “relationships as mirrors” phenomenon: John English's The Little Book on Relationship: How to Guide Your Life With Meaning, Purpose and Power.This book reminded me that using relationships as mirrors is not only helpful in mending relationships with others, but also as a tool for more deeply knowing ourselves. By taking back and owning the various parts of ourselves we have projected onto others through the years, we get to know ourselves as whole and complete human beings who have a variety of qualities that make each of us unique!

This phenomenon also works in reverse, i.e. if we notice positive characteristics in others, we get to take ownership of those as well! For example, say you have a friend or even a public figure that you admire to no end. They are successful, sophisticated, poised, gracious, etc. Guess what? The reason you are so drawn to those specific characteristics in them is because they exist within you!! You admire that person because you know you have the same potential as they do; you just haven't fully tapped into it yet. In the same way as described above, if you notice yourself admiring or praising someone else, shine the mirror within to see where you exhibit those traits as well. Trust me, they're there!

Are You Accountable?

2009-08-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

In honor of doing my very first podcast last week (woo hoo!) on the topic of Accountability Partners, I’ve decided to devote this blog to the topic of accountability partnerships and being held accountable for our goals in general. Get more info about the podcast below, which I did with my real-life accountability partner, Ana Ottman, from Creatuitive Coaching.

For starters, do you know what an Accountability Partner is? Have you heard this term before? Basically, just like it sounds, an Accountability Partner is someone who holds you accountable for achieving your goals and dreams! You meet with them regularly (usually weekly or bi-weekly), and they help support you and keep you on track in making progress towards those things you are trying to achieve. You can meet with them in-person, over email, or on the phone, but the key is consistency and meeting with them regularly to keep them updated on your progress.

I know when I was completing my ebook , having an Accountability Partner was a huge reason I finished it when I did! Knowing that I would be meeting with Ana and reporting to her on what I had accomplished since the last time we met was a huge motivating factor for sitting my butt down and finishing my book. It was especially motivating on those days when it was 80 degrees and sunny outside and the last thing I wanted to do was stay inside and type away on my computer! No matter how motivated and excited you may be to accomplish a certain task you’ve set for yourself, I know first-hand how difficult it can be when you're distracted by the TV, your family and friends, the phone, social invitations, the weather, etc., not to mention those pesky little voices that sneak into your head and tell you you're not good enough, you'll never get this done, and on and on and on. Can you relate?

If you don't already have one, having an Accountability Partner could be the step you've been missing all along. Trust me, not wanting to appear "lazy" or "not serious about your goals" in front of another person can be a HUGE motivating factor to take steps you might not normally prioritize high on your to-do list. If you know you're going to be checking in with a partner regularly, there's a very high chance you will take action rather than run the risk of looking bad in front of the other person! Like it or not, winning other peoples' approval is still something most of us continuously strive for.

One of my friends on Twitter, @vibejourney, listened to the podcast and thought that Inspiration or Visionary Partners was a better term for this, and I tend to agree! Although Accountability Partners are in place to hold you accountable for doing what you say you will, I think the best partners are the ones who do so much more. For me, I think it’s also extremely important to find someone who will provide you with support, motivation, inspiration, and guidance, in addition to giving you a gentle but firm nudge if you get off track and need help finding your way back. It can also be helpful, although not necessary, to have a partner who's in a similar field as you so they can give you advice and suggestions based on their own experience. Most importantly, you want to find someone who can serve as a sort of cheerleader for when you finally experience success and your dreams come true! In essence, these individuals are there to inspire you and help you along your journey to creating the vision you have for yourself and your life.

I’m curious, have you used Accountability Partners before and if so, what was your experience like? Also, which term do you like better, Accountability Partners or Inspiration/Visionary Partners? I'd love to hear your responses below!

To hear the podcast and learn more tips about selecting the right person to be your accountability partner, as well as how to address any potential issues that may arise, go here.

Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life

2009-08-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

At long last, I'm proud to announce the release of my very first ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life! It has been a dream of mine for several years now to write my own ebook, and I'm extremely happy with the way it turned out. I plan to create more products in the future, but I'm pretty confident that anyone who reads this ebook and implements the suggestions found within can make HUGE strides in making changes in their life and creating their ideal life!

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a huge passion for dreaming big and making all of my wildest dreams come true. I believe that all of us have the capacity to make our dreams come to fruition in our lives, if we implement certain tools and techniques on a consistent basis. You will find these tools and techniques in Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life, and I know that they work because I've used them to create great success in my own life!

After years of reading countless self help and personal growth books, I've implemented a TON of self help tools and techniques in my life. Some have worked with remarkable consistency, others have not worked for me at all. This ebook will tell you about the ones that work, and I've written it in a way that is very easy-to-understand and complete with several real life examples that will really resonate with you. Not to mention, I've actually included space in the ebook to do some of the exercises I've included. This is much more than a regular ebook; it's more like your personal workbook or manual for creating your ideal life!

Here is just a small sampling of what you will learn in this powerful ebook:

Secrets to Creating
Your Ideal Life
1. Learn How to Use the Law of Attraction Effectively to Get Results in Your Life ONCE AND FOR ALL.

2. Discover a Powerful Self-Love Exercise That Even Self-Help Gurus Like Jack Canfield Use in Their Own Lives! (I personally learned this exercise from him.)

3. Be Guided Through an Exercise That Can Help You Win Back a Former Significant Other or Collect a Long-Standing Debt That Is Owed to You.

4. Find Out How to Make Even the “Worst” Situations Work Out to Your Advantage Every Single Time.

5. Get In Touch with Even Your Wildest Dreams, No Matter How Long Ago You May Have Forgotten About Them or Given Up on Them.

6. Learn Fun Tools & Techniques That Even the Most-Respected Authors & Coaches Out There Use In Their Daily Lives to Make Their Dreams Come True.

7. Prepare for Your Success In Advance So That It’s a Given.

8. Finally Be Happy, No Matter What Is Going On in Your Life.

9. Uncover Several More "Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life."

*To see the complete Table of Contents right-click here and select 'Open.'

As you can see, I have included a lot of valuable information!! I am truly passionate about helping others create their ideal lives and am committed to sharing the knowledge I have learned over the years with as many people as possible. Everyone should have access to this information!

For more information (including my personal story) or to purchase your copy of this ebook and start living out the life of your dreams, go here now.

Aren't you ready to start jumping out of bed every morning with a sense of fulfillment and excitement about the day ahead?

I know I was! :-)

Patience is a Virtue

2009-07-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

If you’ve checked here in the past few weeks hoping to see a new blog post, you’ve surely been disappointed! I normally try to write two new posts a week, but in addition to coming down with a bad cold I’ve also been super busy finishing my first ebook. (Be sure to check back next week to get your copy!)

As I’ve been putting the finishing touches on my ebook, I’ve been reflecting over the journey that has led me to this point. I’ve wanted to launch my website and create an ebook for a few years now, but my website just came into being this past January and my ebook is just now coming to fruition. I remember beating myself up last year because deep down I knew that I wanted to have a website, but I just couldn’t get my butt up off the couch to do anything about it! Even though I knew what I wanted to do, I just couldn’t make it happen.

As everything has come together, though, I see that it has all come together perfectly in its own timing. If I had started my website a few years ago when I initially wanted to, I wouldn’t have had the resources or the knowledge that I do now that has helped it be successful. People I’ve just recently met in the past year have been really instrumental in helping me create my website.

Have you noticed this in your life? It can be easy to beat ourselves up when things don’t seem to be going the way we want them to. Say you’re interviewing for a new job, but the job you’re dying for was just offered to someone else. Or you’re in the market for a new home, but the offer you just made on what you thought was your dream home was completely turned down without even a counter-offer!

Our natural reaction is to get frustrated when this happens, but if you look carefully at your life you’ll see that usually these things lead to even better things in the future. Like you’re eventually offered an even better job than the one that you were initially hoping for, or you end up with a new home that has even more of the qualities you were looking for. Oprah’s life coach, Martha Beck, says to look back at all the “negative” things that have happened to you in your life and find a way that each of those things actually led to a great thing that happened in your life. That’s pretty powerful!

Sometimes being patient and just letting things unfold naturally can be a good thing. I’m not recommending not taking action towards your goals and just expecting everything to show up on your doorstep. But if you’ve done everything you can do and things don’t seem to be panning out right now, try taking that as a sign that the timing is not quite right yet. The Universe sees the bigger picture and will deliver your desires to you at exactly the right moment, no sooner and no later. You can rest assured that when the timing is right for your desire to be delivered, it will be.

Part Four: Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

2009-06-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

Here we are at week four of the Wreck This Journal adventure! (To see my previous entries, go here for week one, here for week two, and here for week three.)

My main activity for this week was taking my book in the shower with me (pictures coming soon). At this point, I’ve already done so much to “wreck” my journal that it’s starting to feel pretty normal to me! In fact, after I had taken the book in the shower with me I decided I had done such a good job with that “task” that I may as well take things to the next level and submerge the book in a bathtub full of water!! I'm wondering if the book will be dried out enough next week to do any more wrecking in it... ;)

What’s really interesting to me about this whole experience, though, is the connection I’ve found between wrecking the journal and being a lot cleaner than normal in my living space. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this past week, trying to figure out if there’s an explanation for it, and I think I’ve figured it out!

Because I’ve been allowing myself to express my creativity through wrecking my journal, I haven’t felt the need to ‘express my creativity’ in my home. I’ve been making a mess in my journal, and therefore haven’t needed to make a mess in my condo.

Wrecking my journal throughout this experience has given me “permission” to do things I normally wouldn’t do, like rip and burn pages, smear condiments on the pages, and write various things all over the pages. Normally I treat books with so much reverence that doing these things to a precious book is just unheard of! Throughout this experience, however, I’ve been allowing myself to break out of my shell and bust through the walls of perfectionism that are usually held around me very firmly in place.

I think that by me leaving clothes and dishes lying everywhere around my condo (my normal routine) I am in a sense “rebelling” and showing the world that I don’t have to abide by the rules of keeping a clean house. I'm saying, “It’s socially acceptable to pick your clothes up off the floor and put the dishes in the dishwasher, but watch this! I’m going to leave clothes and dishes scattered all over the floor, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!” I didn’t rebel much as a teenager, well not at all really, so I think this is my subtle form of rebellion.

Since I’m enjoying having a clean place to live in and would like to keep it that way from now on, I’ve learned that I need some sort of creative outlet where I can regularly express myself however I want to. In essence, allow myself to make a mess so that I don’t feel the need to make a mess in my living space!

Some ideas I came up with to start doing on a regular basis:

• Finger painting
• Playing with food
• Rolling around in the mud (not sure I really want to do this!)

Any others?

I’m curious, has anyone else noticed that they’ve been more clean and tidy than normal while doing this experience?

Special Interview with Liara Covert, Ph.D.

2009-06-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Liara M. Covert, Ph.D. from Dream Builders Australia. Liara is a dream analyst, author, and spiritual teacher whose purpose in life is to empower and inspire others to live and love more fully. What a great purpose!

Her new book, Self-Disclosure: Changes from Within, shows you how to awaken the dormant parts of your true self and understand how to identify the truth about yourself as you are now, offering you a key to unlocking your spiritual potential and opening the door to limitless happiness and love. I love the message of Liara's book, as well as the overall mission of Dream Builders.

Please enjoy the interview below!

Please tell us about your latest book and where the inspiration for it came from.

My new book is called Self-Disclosure: Changes from Within. It offers personal stories, triggers life-transforming revelations and universal lessons in form of dialogue and journal exercises. Readers decide whether this choose-your-own adventure experience involves a protagonist and a conscience or, other perspectives. Your focus at a given moment determines how you see and experience what the book offers. Each section ends with questions to invite readers to embark on their own journey to raise self-awareness. The book refers to over 144 inspirations. Many of these are presented in the form of quotes at the start of different sections. They set the stage for themes covered including esteem, fear, awakening senses, perception and love. I invite readers to explore http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au The book is available through this site, Amazon, Barnes and Noble and also other on-line and local distributers.

I love the name of your company, Dream Builders, because I believe that everyone has ability and potential to make all their wildest dreams come true. Can you elaborate on this a little? What is the mission of your business?

The Dreambuilders Australia Blog emerged from my passion for writing. It came into being in 2007 when I consciously chose to write for the pure joy of it. This site then branched into dream analysis services, a raising consciousness e-course, books (Harness the Energy of Your Dreams-July 2009) and forthcoming book-related workshops. The purpose of the business is to encourage dialogue, empower and inspire others to live and love more fully.

What do you think is the biggest thing that holds people back from achieving their dreams and what can they do to overcome this?

Fear is the biggest obstacle. People fear anything they perceive but refuse to accept. Nothing that you refuse to accept becomes part of conscious awareness. This is not dangerous except when you choose to view it that way. The strain of inner judgment becomes disheartening and intolerable unless people learn to remember fear is an illusion. People can choose to shift focus and concentrate on love energy which is opposite of fear. You do not experience inner peace because your ego chooses to fear instead. The ego is afraid of the spirit side of you. The only way to overcome fear for good it to undermine the ego thought process, to recognize it for what it is and choose not to permit it to control you. Attitudes and judgment are ego-based. The ego deludes itself into believing its version reality until self-induced conscious awakening changes everything. The truth is only ever felt, experienced when it is accepted fully.

What are some of the of the most important lessons you have learned on your life journey up to this point?

Everything you do is based on choosing love or fear.

Resistance to truth is futile and surrender is what heals delusion.

True inner knowing does not deceive but perception can.

Spirit or soul does not perceive and ego cannot know.

There is no death but fear nurtures belief in death.

Every loving thought connects everyone and everything.

Do you believe in the law of attraction, and if so, how do you practice it in your own life?

I live the law of attraction. I share specific examples throughout the book, Self-Disclosure: Changes for Within. It is the raising conscious awareness of my choices and their implications that transforms my existence and can do the same for every human being, if that is their choice.

What is one message you hope to get out with your new book?

To read through the experiences in this book helps prepare you to reframe your own lessons.

Those people who choose to read it are already awakening to a more conscious path. They are ready to learn to recognize their thoughts and feelings as they are and shift vantage points.

"The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.” ~Khalil Gibran

Part Three: Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

2009-06-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

Here we are at week three of the Wreck This Journal adventure! (To see my previous entries, go here for week one and here for week two.)

Whew! This week brought up a lot of anxiety for some reason. Even just thinking about what I was going to do to wreck my journal made my heart speed up and practically jump out of my chest! Well, when you see what I did you’ll probably understand why…

One of the page’s instructions says to sleep with the book. Because I smeared mustard and chocolate syrup on some of the pages last week (see here), actually having the book in bed with me didn’t sit too well! Even though the mustard and chocolate syrup are completely dry by now, they’re still a bit “sticky” and I didn’t like the idea of the stickiness being close to my white sheets. Since this adventure is all about trying new things, though, I decided to really go for it and face-plant the pages with the mustard and chocolate syrup right onto my sheets!

Talk about anxiety!! This felt absolutely horrible, but I stuck with it for as long as I could handle it (about ten minutes). Gosh, even looking at the picture right now makes me feel really uncomfortable. Luckily nothing rubbed off on my sheets, although they do smell a bit like mustard now. ;)

After doing that, just sleeping with the book on the pillow next to me didn’t seem so difficult. I did accidentally roll over onto it once during the night, but he survived and was ready for our next adventure!

Finally, I’ve been wanting to burn one of the pages for awhile now since that’s one of the page's instructions. I tried to burn the cover first, but that didn’t exactly go as planned. (Note to others going through this experience with me: the cover doesn’t really burn). Next I tried burning a single page, and that worked like a charm. It smelled just like roasting marshmallows over a campfire!

I’ve noticed some pretty significant changes in myself this past week and I think at least some of them are directly related to this experience. I’ll list them here:

1) This past week I have been unusually CLEAN. I’m talking so clean and orderly it’s scary! I straightened up my condo last weekend, and normally it takes me all of about a day to destroy the place again. But here I am, a week later, and it’s just as clean as it was then! Maybe because I’m now giving myself permission to destroy my journal, I don’t feel the need to be messy in my living space anymore?! Food for thought…

2) I’ve noticed that I’m able to just sit with anxiety or other uncomfortable feelings and just let them be, rather than trying to run away from them or get rid of them all together. After all, they're just feelings and I can explore them and allow them to be until they're ready to leave.

3) I’m willing to try new things just for the fun of it! Instead of shrinking away from trying new things, I’ve been really going for it this past week. Because I’m trying so many new things with the journal, it’s carrying over to my life and it feels good. I'm learning that nothing bad happens from trying new things (hey, the sky hasn't fallen yet!)… it’s just a new experience I’ve never gone through before.

NEXT WEEK: Taking the book in the shower with me!

It's still not too late to join in on the fun if you'd like to go through this experience yourself. To join the group of us going through this together or to just follow along with how others are wrecking their journals, go here.

Do Nothing!

2009-06-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve been trying to think of a new blog post to write the past few days, but nothing hugely inspirational has come to mind. I’ve been writing my upcoming ebook, redesigning my newsletter, and rocking along on the Wreck This Journal experiment, so I really haven't had a ton of inspiration for blog posts.

The truth is, however, sometimes the best thing we can do on our path to achieving our dreams is DO NOTHING!! Believe it or not, sometimes just sitting back and doing nothing is the missing ingredient that allows everything to come together and fall into place.

In our society, it is easy to get caught up in the trap of doing more, wanting more, and thinking we’re not good enough if we’re not constantly on-the-go and taking action towards achieving our goals or dreams. If we lose ten lbs., we want to lose five more. If our friend gets a promotion, we start going for one too. If we haven’t yet achieved something on our vision board, we wonder what’s wrong with us and start taking extra steps to make it happen.

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me, though, when I say there are some days when action just plain doesn’t feel good! In fact, it feels like if you do one more thing you might just collapse and have a really hard time getting back up off the couch. Especially if you are juggling a job, a business, children, spouse, a workout practice, etc., or some combination of all that!

Sometimes our bodies need time to rest and recover, and just take a break from all the activity that has been going in our lives… and that’s okay! In fact, it’s needed from time to time and it’s actually better to take restorative breaks every now and then rather than crashing and burning from too much activity, whatever that looks like for you. Give yourself permission to just BE, to just go with the flow of life, and not have to constantly be doing, doing, doing.

I say, take as much action as feels right at a given time, but then allow yourself to take a few days off when needed, or just when the inspiration’s not there. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong or that your dreams aren’t going to come true; quite the contrary, sometimes it just means that you’ve done everything you’re required to do and now the rest is up to the Universe! Things might be taking place behind the scenes to bring your dreams to reality that you’re not even aware of. You might not be feeling inspired because you are not intended to do anything right now, except relax and take some time for yourself.

If it feels especially difficult to allow yourself some time off, question the thoughts you are telling yourself that make it seem so impossible. Be on the lookout for black and white thinking like, “If I don’t publish this article today, no one will ever hire me as a writer again!” Or, “If I don’t clean the house perfectly before tonight, my spouse won’t love me as much.” Use Byron Katie’s The Work or another process to challenge these beliefs in your mind so they don’t seem so set in stone. Remember, a belief is just a thought you have repeated many times and it can be changed!

So if you're feeling like doing nothing is the best thing for you right now, give yourself permission to do just that... and I'll do the same. :-)

Part Two: Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

2009-06-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

Welcome to part two of the Wreck This Journal experience!

I must say, I’ve been having a lot of fun with this and have already noticed changes within myself that I think came directly from this adventure. I’ve included some pictures this week, so you can see what I’ve been up to. (To see what I had to say about part one, go here.)

Below is a picture of my actual journal, and as you can see it’s already well on its way to being destroyed… ;) Here I've ripped the cover, cut through several layers of pages, cracked the spine, and written on the side of the book opposite the spine.

The instructions for the page below said to "Scribble wildly violenty with reckless abandon"... and I did! It's hard to see in the picture, but I actually tore the page because I was scribbling so violently. Haha.

Finally, here's the picture I'm most proud of... This page instructed me to draw lines with either a pen or pencil, then lick my finger and smear the lines. For some reason, this provoked so much anxiety in me that I decided to REALLY GO FOR IT! So instead of smearing pen or pencil marks, I decided to smear chocolate syrup and mustard on the page!! And let me tell you, it was gross and fun all at the same time:) One of the future instructions is to sleep with the book in your bed, so I may need to re-evaluate that after this last wrecking.

EWWWWW!

Other things I did this past week to wreck my journal:

• Stood up high and dropped the book
• Ripped a page out and crumbled it up
• Cut one of the pages out, made a funnel with it, and drank water from it
• Bent and tore several of the pages

I have to admit, I really am starting to feel more liberated and am noticing changes within myself. I seem to be more accepting of my "flaws", or things I didn't necessarily like about myself before. For example, I think I'm going to be posting an introduction video of myself on my website soon! Up until now this just made me feel entirely UNcomfortable. Now I tell myself, "Eh, there are lots of people using video on their sites these days, and there's no reason I can't."

Another thing that I am really proud off is that I ripped up pictures of an ex-boyfriend! I had been hanging onto these for YEARS, but the other morning I just woke up, and rip, rip, rip! Just like that:) And afterwards I felt so much lighter and open to new experiences and people... I've also noticed that I've been throwing out other things around my place that I've been hanging onto for entirely way too long.

It's funny because as I'm doing the exercises in the journal, I definitely feel a knot of anxiety or just uncomfortable tension in my chest that does not feel good at all. Once I do the exercises, though, the tension dissipates and I'm finding that the anxious tension I feel in my life as a whole is dissipating. I've noticed I'm easier on myself and not so demanding that everything be perfect. I'm allowing myself to be ME... and that is a great feeling :)

Here's to breaking the addiction to perfection once and for all!

In case you're wondering, it's not too late to join in on the fun! To join the group of us going through this together or to just follow along with how others are wrecking their journals, go here.

Addicted to Perfectionism? "Wreck this Journal!"

2009-06-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

Are you addicted to perfectionism like I am? Let’s kick the habit once and for all!

I just discovered a fabulous book called "Wreck This Journal"by Keri Smith and joined a 30-day book blogging experience focused on this book. The experience officially started this past Friday, and I will be posting about my experiences with this book every Friday throughout the end of June. If you have a blog and want to go through the experience with us, join us! It’s never too late to join (I actually joined a few days late myself). Even if you don’t have a blog or don’t want to post your experiences, I still encourage you to pick up a copy of the book and go through this exercise on your own.

"Wreck This Journal"is not your typical book. The pages are not filled with words, nor does it tell any particular story. Instead, each page contains instructions about how to literally destroy the book! For example, one page tells you to burn it. Another page tells you to spill coffee on it, or poke holes through the page, while yet another page tells you to take the entire book in the shower with you! Trust me, the point of this book is to completely destroy it by the time you are finished with it, hence its subtitle, “To Create is To Destroy.” The premise of the book is that many of us hold ourselves back creatively because we are scared of mistaking a mistake or not "coloring withing the lines." This book actually encourages you to not only color outside the lines, but to destroy the lines once and for all!

Now, I don’t know about you, but for me books are like my best friends. When I order a book from Amazon and it arrives with a slight fold in the corner or a scratch on the cover, my heart literally sinks. I keep all of my books in pristine condition, and even when I take them in carry-on luggage aboard airplanes they are carefully wrapped and protected so they can’t be harmed in any way! When I purchase books in bookstores, I always make sure to pick the one that is in the best condition. This 30-day exercise is definitely going to be a challenge for me, but one that I’m ready to embrace!

I’ll post pictures as I go along, but I’ve barely even started the 30 days and I’ve already noticed challenges coming up for me. First of all, when I went to purchase the book I had to ask a saleslady at the bookstore to help me locate it. When we finally found it, it was sitting on a table with other books and the saleslady just grabbed the top copy and gave it to me. But the top copy had scratches on the cover and lots of fingerprints from other people who had looked at it! Normally I would have immediately put this copy back and taken one from the bottom of the stack, but not this time. I just smiled at the saleslady, said thank you, and took a deep breath! “You can do this,” I told myself.

One of the instructions in the book is to take the journal with you everywhere you go. Once I had paid for it at the bookstore, I put the book in my purse unprotected... GASP! Normally I would never do this. I would keep the book in its own separate bag, so that nothing could touch it or make any markings on it. But I threw it in my bag, right alongside my keys, suntan lotion, phone, wallet, you name it… and I just took another deep breath and kept walking!

I have yet to do any of the exercises in the book because I’m still getting used to this whole idea of destroying a precious book, but I did manage to hurl the book on the ground once I got home from the bookstore and that felt slightly liberating. I am a perfectionist, especially when it comes to books, so this is going to be good!!

Join the fun and do this experience with us! To check out the other bloggers participating in this experience, go here.

Thanks to Ana at Creatuitive Coaching for recommending this book in her latest newsletter!

Finally, if you haven't voted yet for Best Coaching Blog of 2009, there's still time! If you like what you're reading here, I'd really appreciate your vote to help this blog get more exposure. Just go here, scroll down until you see the Self Help Goddess blog, and be sure to click the UP arrow. Thanks in advance for your vote!! :-)

Be Happy Now!

2009-06-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Right now I’m in the midst of writing my my first ebook on how to create your ideal life, and am currently going through the process of selecting what topics to include in the book. The book will focus on some of the biggest secrets I have learned over the years from reading hundreds (maybe thousands!) of self help books about creating and living your dream life on a daily basis. I’ve been thinking about which particular secrets to include in the book, and what I’m about to reveal here may possibly be the biggest secret to creating your ideal life EVER.

Are you ready for this life-changing secret that can help you create your ideal life? Make sure you’re sitting down for this because you’re not going to believe how simple it is!

Here it is: BE HAPPY NOW.

I told you it was simple!!

Let’s face it, the reason most of us want anything in life is so that we can be happier or reach that state of eternal bliss and happiness. Think about it: Why do you want that million dollars? Perhaps so you can quit your job and travel the world, and be happier. Why do you want a fulfilling relationship with your ideal partner? So you can be loved and accepted for who are, and be happier. Why do you want to open that art gallery you’ve been dreaming of for years? So you can express your natural talents and gifts, and be happier.

The truth is, no matter how you break it down, the reason most of us want to create or attract anything in life is to ultimately get to a place of pure joy and happiness. It doesn’t really even matter what you want, because everyone has different wants and desires. Eventually, though, all anyone really wants is happiness, plain and simple. Happiness is always the treasure at the end of the rainbow!

Problem is that most of us condition our happiness on something outside of us. We think we can’t be happy until we get the fast red sports car, or the prestigious job, or the adorable children, or the muscular toned body, or perfect skin, or whatever. Society basically trains us from a very early age to believe that happiness is only accessible to us AFTER we’ve attained something on the outside. And the sad part is that many of us never get to that place of eternal bliss and happiness we are all searching for because a) we never accomplish the goals we think will make us happy or b) if we do achieve those goals, we quickly come up with new ones and condition our happiness on achieving those goals. It’s a never-ending battle, really!

But what if we just bypass all those goals and external things all together and allow ourselves to just be happy now! I came to this conclusion a few weeks ago in my own life and remember thinking how life-altering and mind-blowing this was. I was mentally going through my daily list of things to be grateful for and was repeating the same things I have said to myself numerous times: “I’m grateful for my cute condo. I’m grateful to have money in the bank and live in a great city. I’m grateful to have friends who enjoy doing the same activities as me,” etc. etc. etc. All of a sudden, though, it occurred to me that even as I was grateful to have all these wonderful things in my life, I wasn’t necessarily any happier, which is my ultimate goal (and I’m guessing it’s yours, too).

So I decided to just be happy now! I decided to be happy to be alive, to be able to breathe the air that I breathe, to be able to drink a cup of coffee when I wake up in the morning, or to have clean clothes to put on every day. Don’t get me wrong, it can take a little conscious effort to get to this place… but once you do, it is so rewarding! Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

The funny thing is, not only will you already be happier but you will actually begin attracting to you those things you thought you needed to be happy in the first place. Because you will already be happy, your attitude towards those things will change and relax, making it much easier for them to flow into your life. You won't need those things to be happy anymore, and once you release your need and desperation the Universe will have a much easier time delivering those things to you. The truth is, the Universe is practically “beating down our doors” trying to deliver our wants and needs to us. Unfortunately, though, we are usually in such a state of need, desperation, anxiety, etc. that we are unable to allow those things into our lives.

My advice to anyone trying to bring more happiness into their lives today is to just be happy now! Don’t condition your happiness on anything outside of you, just decide right this minute to be happy. Get yourself into a state of pure bliss and just be happy now! :-)

I haven’t actually read it yet, but I’m adding Marci Shimoff’s Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out
to my reading list. I’ve heard it’s a really great read about finding happiness, and includes stories and tips from 100 different people who are genuinely happy in life.

Finally, if you like what you're reading here at this blog I'd love your vote for Best Coaching Blog of 2009. Scroll down to Self Help Goddess blog, and be sure to click the UP arrow. Thanks for your vote!!

Are You Open to Receiving?

2009-05-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend! Here in the US it was Memorial Day on Monday, and most of us had the day off work and an extra long weekend. I hope you took advantage of it!

As for me, I was grateful for the beautiful weather we had here in Washington, DC and spent a lot of time in a park I recently discovered near my home. It’s a wide open park surrounded by gorgeous trees, as well as a lovely running creek which I was fortunate enough to stumble upon when I was too hot and needed to find a place to sit in the shade!

I took a seat on the edge of the creek and watched as the water flowed effortlessly downstream. Even if there were rocks and sticks in the creek, the water continued flowing downstream and didn’t let anything stand in its way. While I sat there and listened to the water all around me, I was reminded of the flow of abundance that always surrounds us in life. Just like with the creek, it is always there and always flowing towards us. However, it is up to us to actually step into the flow and allow all that abundance, love, and prosperity to come into our lives.

I just finished reading the ebook Get the Money! Get the Money! Get the Money! by Tom and Penelope Pauley, and they also talk extensively about the endless flow of abundance that is always present in our lives. They describe a visualization exercise where you actually visualize yourself in a river or similar body of water, and let the water surround your body and fill you up as if it were eternal abundance. I tried doing this visualization while I was sitting on the edge of the creek, and it was actually more difficult than it seems!

(Try this exercise for yourself right now: visualize the picture of the creek at the top of this page as never-ending abundance and love that is flowing into your life and into your chest or heart. It will never, ever stop and just keeps flowing into your life and surrounding you from head to toe. Can you keep yourself open to all this love and abundance, or does it feel uncomfortable like it did for me?)

The truth is, we all have the potential to create endless abundance and miracles in our lives on a daily basis. Yes, it’s true! Unfortunately, most of us have been trained since very early on in our lives that life is difficult, is meant to be a struggle, and that miracles don’t really happen very often, if at all. We are conditioned to believe that things don’t come easy, that we have to work really hard to (maybe) make things work in our life, and that abundance usually appears as a sporadic trickle rather than an endless stream.

Think about it. If someone came up to you out of the blue on the street and offered you your dream job, no strings attached, would you actually take it?? Some would, most people would not! They would think, there’s gotta be a catch because this is too good be true. What if someone offered you a $50.00 bill just for being you? Would you take it? Finally, what if someone walked up to you tomorrow at Starbucks and told you were the most beautiful man or woman they had ever seen in their entire life? Would you accept the compliment graciously, or think they were crazy and try to get away from them as quickly as possible?

If you're familiar with the law of attraction, Abraham-Hicks says that all the desires we want to manifest in our lives are downstream (as opposed to upstream). They tell us to metaphorically take our oars out of the water, drop all struggle, and go with the flow, thus allowing all of our wants and dreams to come to us naturally and effortlessly. Can you imagine how easy life would be (not to mention fun!) if all we had to do was stop struggling to achieve what we want, and just open ourselves up to receiving those things? That's how life can work, if we let it!

Life is meant to be easy. Even the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be answered." (Matthew 7:7) Some people don’t seem to like easy, though. It makes them uncomfortable and they would prefer familiar struggle and challenges to unfamiliar ease and comfort. I actually know quite a few people who have had the same jobs since they graduated college and don’t particularly care for them. They stick with them, though, because it’s familiar and it’s what they know!

Always remember that abundance, love, prosperity, and anything else you may possibly want in your life are available to you now, right this very second. The only thing required is for you to let your guard down, open the gates, and let all that abundance and love in!

Are you open to receiving?

UPDATED: If you're looking to practice your receiving muscles and allow more wealth and abundance into your life, check out the upcoming Wealth Consciousness Boot Camp from Elizabeth Grant and Cindy Ashton. It starts June 1st, so you'll want to get in on the action quickly! I LOVE Elizabeth's daily Quantum Power Sessions and listen to them every morning. Be sure to check out this life-changing course if you want to change your relationship to money permanently!! It really works:)

Make Time for Fun!

2009-05-20T08:58:00.001-07:00

I published the article below in my latest newsletter and thought it was a good article to repeat here. I don't normally repeat articles, but I think the message of having fun is a critical one that is often overlooked when we are trying to create our ideal lives. Enjoy!

(If you'd like to sign up for my free bi-monthly newsletter, sign up in the pink box to the left of this page).

As I was trying to think about what to write in this week’s newsletter, I decided that instead of writing an in-depth article about how to improve your life, I would write about having fun! Memorial Day is coming up on May 25 here in the US, and most of us have the day off work and a three-day weekend. What a perfect opportunity to take a break, kick back, and have some good old-fashioned fun!

I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t always have as much fun as I could. I’m so committed to creating my ideal life and what that means for me, that I tend to feel guilty if I’m not constantly learning new things and finding ways to apply that my life. It’s hard for me to truly let go and just have fun!

Having fun, though, is often what’s missing when we’re trying to create our dream lives and things just don’t seem to be falling into place. Sometimes we push and push, and do more and more, and just do anything we can to try to create better results in our life. We figure that if we just work harder and take more action that eventually things will fall into place. Sometimes, however, all this pushing is actually what is holding us back!

Taking action towards our goals definitely has its place and its benefits, but too much struggle and not enough fun will leave you tired, exhausted, and maybe even depressed. At a certain point you may get frustrated from working so much and just give up on your goals entirely! Action is good, but you definitely want to create room in your life for fun so you avoid burnout.

Not to mention, if you are a follower of the law of attraction you know that your thoughts and feelings are creating your future. Therefore, if you’re feeling exhausted and worn out from doing too much now, that will just lead to more feelings of exhaustion in the future. However, having fun and creating good feelings now means more fun and more good feelings in the future!

After all, life is meant to be enjoyed! Be silly and act like a five-year old if that makes you feel better. Run through a lawn sprinkler and get your hair wet. Play with a pet in the grass and just let yourself enjoy the moment. Even if there are things you would love to change about your life, you still want to practice being grateful for where you’re at now, making peace with what it is, and at times letting loose and just having fun!

If you need suggestions on how to have fun, just observe young children. They can have fun just by playing with a piece of paper! They are always in a constant state of fun and enjoying life, and we would be wise to follow their lead more often.

I hope you will take time this weekend to really let yourself have some well-deserved fun. :-)

If your idea of fun consists of reading, or if you’re just looking for some good recommendations for reading over Memorial Day weekend, check out my previous blog post titled, “My Reading List”. I give reviews of the current books I’m reading, as well as a list of what’s coming next up on my reading list! Lots of good book recommendations in a variety of areas (relationships, finances, home, etc.)

COMING SOON: Also, if you’d love to be able read all the latest self help books but just don’t have the time, you’ll want to stay tuned for my upcoming ebook! I will be releasing my first ebook VERY SOON, and it will focus on what I have learned about creating your ideal from reading hundreds (maybe thousands!) of self help books over the years. I've already read all these books, so you don't have to! I’m basically doing all the work for you. ;) Stay tuned for more details.

My Reading List

2009-05-18T18:56:00.001-07:00

Have you been wondering what the Self Help Goddess is reading? Several of my followers on Twitter ask me regularly what I’m reading, so I’ve decided to start making my reading list available here on my blog from time to time. I will let you know what I’m currently reading (usually a mix of about 5-6 books at a time!), my reviews of what I’m reading, and what’s coming up next on my reading list.

I read a TON of self help books because that is my true passion, and one of the ways I love spending my free time. If books are particularly helpful to me or have brought me significant insights or results in my life, they are then added to my website.

So, without further ado, here is my current reading list! Drumroll, please… :-)

1) Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together, by Kathryn Alice.

I had not heard of this book until recently, but I’m so glad I stumbled upon it! Kathryn is a spiritual teacher at the Agape Church in LA, run by Michael Bernard Beckwith, and approaches the topic of finding your soulmate as if it is a given for everyone. This book contains 9 love magnets to implement that will help you attract your soulmate to you (by doing things like releasing old relationships, making a soul call to your future partner, etc.). What I particularly liked about this book was the way it seems to change your beliefs about relationships, even without you consciously realizing it! No matter what type of relationship history you've had, this book will make you feel like your soulmate is just around the corner and that they will be even more amazing than you ever expected.

2) Get the Money! Get the Money! Get the Money!, ebook by Tom and Penelope Pauley.

I've been wanting to purchase this ebook for literally years now, but for some reason just felt the inspiration last week. I'm glad I finally took the plunge! This ebook is actually a transcription of a four-hour call Tom and Penelope did on various techniques for attracting money into your life quickly and easily. This definitely has a spiritual bent to it, and focuses mainly on attracting money to you through spiritual means (ex. visualization) as opposed to "real-world" techniques. The main point of this ebook which really stuck with me is that in order to attract more wealth into our lives, or anything for that matter, we have to be open to receiving it! Easier said than done. ;)

3) Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life : How to Use Feng Shui to Get Love, Money, Respect and Happiness, by Karen Rauch Carter.

I’ve always heard about the benefits of Feng Shui, but have never used it in my life. I picked up this book because the reviews said it was not only informative, but also a lot of fun… and I agree! I haven’t even gotten to the end of this book and I’ve already noticed results. The chapter on creating more prosperity in your life mentioned putting a large chunk of purple amethyst (crystal) in the prosperity corner of your home. The other day I came across such a crsytal in a store and decided to purchase it for my prosperity corner. The amethyst started working the minute I purchased it, because when I took it up to the counter to pay for it the shop owner immediately decided the price was too high and he knocked the price down by $12.00! Now I'm convinced that Feng Shui principles work and I'm focused on getting the rest of the corners in my home lined up properly.

4) Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity, by Stacey Hall and Jan Brogniez.

I’ve had this book on my bookshelf for awhile now, but was just inspired to pick it up and read it through to the end (I read a few chapters several months ago). When I first started reading it I hadn’t yet started the SelfHelpGoddess website, but now I am reading it from a new perspective and I LOVE IT! It talks about discovering your purpose or mission for running a business or website, and determining who is your perfect customer or client that you are trying to attract to your business. The authors talk about creating a Strategic Attraction Plan, which serves as a sort of blueprint for attracting your perfect customer. The principles of this book are based on the law of attraction, but this is an inspirational and informative business book that all business owners can get into (not just spiritual-based entrepreneurs).

5) Hip Tranquil Chick: A Guide to Life On and Off the Yoga Mat, by Kimberly Wilson.

OK, so technically I've already read through this book a few times, but right now I'm using it as sort of a reference book to keep me on track! I keep it by my bedside and refer back to it every couple days or so because it is just such a fun read, not to mention it is packed with great information. This book is a sort of "lifestyle guide" for being a hip, tranquil chick in today's busy and modern society. It has chapters on creating a consistent yoga practice, pursuing your dream career, keeping your finances on-track, maintaining a self-care practice, and managing a busy social life, among others. I know Kimberly personally and she definitely embodies the modern hip, tranquil chick! This is a book you will love so much you will keep referring back to it for inspiration, as I do.

As you can see, I read books and ebooks on a variety of subjects! Basically, I read anything I can get my hands on that has to do with creating your ideal life, in all different areas (love, money, home, business, etc.). I believe that we all have the right and potential to be living our ideal lives on a daily basis, and I love finding those resources that bring us all one step closer to our dream lives!

Up next on my reading list:

1) Making Room for Mr. Right: How to Attract the Love of Your Life, by Robin and Michael Mastro.

2) The Power of Focus: What the Worlds Greatest Achievers Know about The Secret of Financial Freedom and Success, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Les Hewitt.

3) Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life, by Gary Chapman.

4) How to Attain Your Desires by Letting Your Subconscious Mind Work for You Vol.1, by Joe Vitale and Genevieve Behrend.

5) Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand: (. . . When you learn that it is better to receive than to give) The Superwoman's Practical Guide to Getting as Much as She Gives, by Laura Doyle.

What about you? What are you currently reading? I’d love to hear any suggestions you have for future books I can add to my list, or any comments you have about the above selections!

Happy reading:)

COMING SOON: If you'd love to know what all the above books say, but simply don't have the time to read them all... keep your eyes peeled on this space! I'm going to be releasing my first ebook VERY SOON, which will be all about creating your ideal life using the knowledge I have gained over the years from reading hundreds (maybe thousands!) of self help books. If this is your thing, you will not want to miss out! I'm doing all the work for you. ;)

Wanting vs. Having - The Law of Attraction

2009-05-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

“What true patience is, is knowing that you want it and knowing that it's coming and actually enjoying the unfolding along the way. Understand that you never get it done. So you might as well be patient. You never get it done, because every time you want and receive, you also receive a new perspective from which to want. Life is a constant unfolding of new desires and then a constant alignment to those desires.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

The above quote was one of the daily quotes I received this week from Abraham-Hicks. For anyone who is familiar with the law of attraction or simply curious about what it is, I highly recommend signing up for these daily quotes! They always help me start my day off with the right mindset.

This quote in particular really resonated with me because there’s quite a difference between knowing about the law of attraction, and actually practicing it day in and day out. It’s one thing to know the steps of the law of attraction: you decide what you want, you ask for it by feeling your desire for it, and then you let go of it and allow the Universe to deliver it to you in the best way possible, much like you would place an order for your favorite meal in a restaurant! It takes a much deeper level of commitment, however, to consciously practice the law of attraction and use to create the results you want.

In order for the law of attraction to work, you have to feel the way NOW that you will feel once you have whatever it is you want (the new job, the new relationship, the new home, the hot body, etc.). You decide what you want, and then start thinking and feeling as if that thing was already in your life. Trust me, this is easier said than done! Especially if you look around and see no evidence whatsoever of what you’re trying to attract. But if you want to use the law of attraction consciously to create your ideal life, this is our job!

For many of us, when we think we’re focused on something, we’re actually focused on the lack of it. We might be thinking about money, for example, but we’re thinking about how we don’t have as much as we would like! When you think about money, are you basking in the feelings of having a million dollars or worrying about how you’re going to pay your rent this month? It doesn’t count if you think to yourself, “I’d really love to have more money,” and then your next thought is something along the lines of “I really hope they don’t turn off my electricity!”

The quote at the top of the page helped me realize how much time I spend in the feelings of “asking” for something, but not enough time in those feelings of receiving that thing into my life. Asking the Universe is easy, because all it requires is for you to notice something you want and feel a yearning or desire for it. Once you’ve expressed a desire, the Universe hears your request and immediately gets to work preparing whatever you’ve asked for. Our job then is to forget about it, know that it’s on its way, and enjoy our life as much as possible while we wait for that thing to arrive into our life! What usually happens, though, is the majority of us (myself included) have a hard time letting go and forgetting about it. Instead, we constantly wonder when that thing will arrive and ask what’s taking so darn long!

It’s the difference between wanting and having something. I was at a conference with Jack Canfield last year and he asked the question: “Would you rather want something, or actually have it?” You’d rather have it, of course! However, sometimes we get stuck in the feeling of wanting it (or not having it), which just leads to more of the same, i.e. not having what you really want.

Our job as deliberate creators is to feel things into existence in our lives. If we can feel it now, it has to come into our lives. It has to, because that’s what the law of attraction says… and it is law! Decide upon something you want to create in your life, get into the feeling place NOW of what it would be like to already have that thing in your life, and feel that way as often as possible. Especially when you start to notice you’re getting frustrated that it hasn’t arrived yet, immediately shift your focus and start feeling the way it will feel to have it!

What does this look like? For example, if you just started a coaching practice and are hoping to attract an abundance of new clients, your focus may be on the fact that your phone isn’t ringing and you have no new clients or leads on the horizon. If that’s the case, shift your focus to thinking and feeling what it would be like to have your phone ringing off the hook with new clients wanting to hire you, checking your inbox and seeing tons of emails from potential new clients, and even imagine a conversation with a friend about how well your coaching practice is going and how much fun you are having with it! This will feel extremely strange at first, you may even feel like you’re “lying”. But if you keep at this, you will soon start to see changes in your situation and then you will want to keep doing it!

So here’s your recipe for success: Ask for your desire, know that it’s on its way, and enjoy the ride! Whatever you’ve asked for will be here before you know it. You will have been having so much fun in the meantime, though, you won’t even notice you missed it!

Are You Ready for Success?

2009-05-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

I read a TON of books on creating your ideal life and manifesting your desires. In fact, that’s the whole reason I started my website, so I could track down the best resources to help myself and others create our ideal lives! There comes a time, though, when you’ve got to stop just dreaming about making things happen and actually start taking action. Many of us fantasize about creating change in our lives and improving our circumstances, but are you really ready for success?

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who constantly complain about the way things are going in their life, but never take action or do anything about it. Trust me, things aren’t just going to fall from the sky! There is, however, a tool you can use to speed up your manifestations and increase the chances of success happening in your life. That tool is preparing for your success, even before it gets here.

By preparing yourself in advance for what you want to happen, you are sending a signal to both yourself and the Universe that you are ready for changes in your life and that you are confident they are on their way. This actually paves the way for good things to happen and increases their likelihood of showing up. Rather than just going through life haphazardly and hoping you achieve what you want, you can actually plan for your success and increase the odds of it happening. Sometimes just taking little action steps in advance opens the door for bigger things to come your way.

I’ve read in several books on relationships that if you’re single and want to attract a new relationship, you should clean out your closet and empty drawers in order to make space for a partner in your home. Feng Shui experts tell you to make sure you have a night stand on both sides of your bed, not just your side of the bed. These actions may seem strange if you don’t currently have a significant other, but by taking these actions you are increasing the chances that a partner will soon show up. This is because you are taking concrete action to express your commitment to having a new relationship in your life.

If you’re hoping to attract a new job, do you have a suit all ready to wear when you land an interview for your dream job? Is it dry-cleaned and at the front of your closet, so you can easily access it when the time comes for your interview? I remember a few years back I was in a job that I didn’t particularly care for. I knew that eventually I wanted to start looking for a new job, but I wasn’t quite ready to start reading job openings and sending out my resume. One day, however, I was shopping for clothes and came across a really nice suit that was perfect for interviews. I knew I didn’t plan to go on interviews for a few months and I already had a suit at home I could wear, but I decided to go ahead and purchase the suit anyway in order to pave the way for upcoming interviews. Not long after, I quit my job that I didn’t like and started applying for new jobs. Right away I was called for two interviews, and of course I wore my new suit. I received offers for both positions, and the job I ended up taking was actually offered to me on the spot!

I only started my website a few months ago, but it’s already taken off much faster than I ever imagined it would! I didn’t expect to have so many newsletter subscribers so soon, or to have so many people reading my blog (thank you!!). Recently I’ve put some time management systems in place to better prepare for the future, so I can keep up with regularly publishing my newsletter and posting to this blog.

The key is to prepare for your success now as if it is already a given, rather than waiting to see if your success arrives and dealing with it then. Not only do you increase your chances of success by preparing for it beforehand, but you insure that you’ll be equipped to handle it if and when it does arrive! I have a friend who is self-publishing a book and was only going to print 100 copies or so and see how that went. I told her she would be better printing off more than that, because 100 copies goes fast once you factor in all your family and friends who will buy copies. She shouldn’t publish more than she can afford, but I told her to stretch herself a little further than she normally would and plan to sell 200 books instead of 100!

Take a look at your list of goals and see if there are concrete ways you can prepare for your success now. If you’re hoping to attract more money, do you have bank accounts and financial advisors in place to help you deal with your money? If you’re hoping to lose a significant amount of weight, do you have a few clothing items you will be able to wear when you drop the weight without having to go shopping? By taking steps and putting these things into place now, you are sending a strong signal to both yourself and the world around you that you are indeed ready for success.

Once you do that, your success is virtually guaranteed!

Breakthrough to Wealth

2009-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

On Sunday night I listened to a Breakthrough to Wealth class with Denise Coates, one of my favorite law of attraction coaches. Denise has recently started teaching this class every Sunday night, and I had been wanting to participate for awhile. I’m so glad I did! Keep reading to find out some of the wealth creation tips I learned.

During the class, Denise worked one-on-one with two people and I volunteered to be one of the lucky two. Before doing an intuitive reading on my money situation (which was spot-on, by the way!), Denise asked me two questions. I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you the same two questions:

1) What is your ultimate dream or goal with respect to money?
2) What do you think is holding you back from achieving that?

The first step in creating anything we want in life is to decide exactly what we want and be able to describe that in detail. Saying that you want a lot of money just won’t cut it! Exactly how much money do you want? Once you have this money, what will you do with it? What sort of lifestyle will you be leading? Don’t just say you’ll be leading a wealthy lifestyle. Actually take some time to get in touch with the way you'll be living once you achieve your money goals. What sort of vacations will you take? Which hotels will you stay in? Will you buy your clothes in fancier stores, or shop at the same stores as you do now? Really take some time to figure out what your life will be like once you’ve started attracting more money.

After deciding what your financial dreams consist of, see if you can uncover anything that may be preventing you from achieving the wealth you would like. Do you blame it on the economy? Or maybe you think that if only your boss would give you that raise you’ve been wanting, then you would finally have more money! Perhaps you think that you can't make any more money until the stock market rebounds and your investments go back up. It’s easy to blame outside circumstances for our lack of money, especially in today’s economy, but if you’re reading this blog you probably know that it goes a little deeper than that. :-)

If we’re not achieving our money goals, or anything for that matter, it is usually because we are holding some limiting beliefs that are getting in our way. Sure, almost everyone says they would love to have more money, but it's possible you made some decisions about money a long time ago that are keeping you from creating abundance today. For example, another woman on the call the other night said that she wanted more money to be able to pay her school tuition, but was worried that her family wouldn’t like her if she had a lot of money. I’m sure a lot of people have this problem! Deep down you may have a hidden fear that others will not like you if you have a ton of money. Therefore, in order to keep your friends and family close, you find ways to keep money away from you (even if it's all subconscious). If you believe that others will leave you if you start to have too much money, it’s very possible that you will choose your family over having more money!

Some other common limiting beliefs with respect to money are:

-Money is bad.
-Rich people are greedy.
-I don’t deserve to have a lot of money.
-I’m not smart enough to have a lot of money.
-Making money is hard and requires a lot of work.

Do any of those ring true for you? The list could go on and on and is unique to every individual. For example, do you believe that making a lot of money requires hard work? I used to believe this, but it's just not true in today’s society! There are a TON of Internet millionaires out there today who make money while they take extra long vacations. If your money situation isn’t where you’d like it to be, take some time to figure out if there are any limiting beliefs standing in your way.

Once you’ve cleared out any negative beliefs, always bring your attention back to what you are trying to create. In fact, the more time you can spend focusing on what you want (even if it’s not here yet), the better! One of my favorite products for doing this with respect to money is The Vibrational Millionaire program from Denise Coates, which goes along well with the Breakthrough to Wealth Class I mentioned above. The Vibrational Millionaire program is a series of audios you listen to daily in order to get into the feeling place of being a millionaire and having all the money you need. There are also written reports to help you think and feel as if you have all the prosperity in the world. Remember, as you think and you feel, you create! Therefore, the more time you spend visualizing what it is like to have endless abundance, the more likely it is that it will come to pass. I like this product so much I wrote a review of it on my site, if you're interested.

Another thing I learned about money recently is to treat your relationship with money as if it were a relationship with a real person. Obviously this requires a little imagination on your part, but if money were an actual person, would it like the way you treat it? Do you get upset with it when there’s not enough, or neglect it by not depositing it in the bank? Do you forget to keep track of it and spend way more than you have? If money were a person, they probably wouldn't be feeling the love! On the flipside, those who have a positive relationship with money feel thankful for their money every time they sit down to pay their bills, keep track of their money and stick to a budget, and always have faith that more money is on its way, i.e. they treat their money with a little more respect! I'll go into more detail about this in another blog posting, but it's something interesting to start thinking about now. :-)

Sending you all thoughts of wealth and abundance!

An Exercise in Loving Others

2009-05-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

I continue to be amazed that my article entitled “A Powerful Self-Love Exercise!” is getting so many hits on www.ezines.com. I published it awhile back along with some other articles not related to self-love, and to this day it still receives five to ten times more hits than the other articles I published! The message is clear: with today’s economic uncertainty, people are relying more and more on the power of love to survive these tough times.

Here’s another powerful love exercise for you, although this one is more focused upon loving others. Don’t be fooled, though. You will be sending love to others as part of this exercise, but the rewards you will receive personally will be tenfold! Remember, whatever you send out into the Universe always comes back to you times ten (money, love, kindness, etc.).

Think of a situation that is troubling you right now, that involves other people in some way. Maybe you’re trying to win back a former significant other, or trying to collect on a debt that is long overdue to you, or trying to get along with a neighbor who seems intent on making your life as difficult as possible. Once you’ve selected the situation you’d like to improve and the specific person (or people), take a seat somewhere and spend a few minutes getting comfortable and relaxing. You’ll want to do this exercise alone and without distractions, so make sure you’ve chosen a quiet spot. Inhale a few deep breaths, tune out the world around you, and spend a few minutes in silence focusing on your breath.

Once you’ve relaxed and have taken your mind off the outside world, picture the person who is giving you a hard time and visualize them sitting in a chair on an empty theatre stage. (It could be a group of people if that works better for your scenario). When you see the person sitting on stage and can really see the image clearly, add yourself to the picture and watch yourself walk up to the person. You are both on the stage, about to have a conversation with each other. Actually, you will be doing most of the talking in the conversation while the other person will be listening to you.

OK, here’s the good part! You are going to visualize a conversation between the two of you, where you discuss the situation you are experiencing with them, but you are NOT going to express your anger, frustration, etc. to this person. Instead, you are only going to express LOVE to them. Up until now, you have probably been flowing “negative” feelings to this person, like fear, anger, sadness, etc., and no matter justified your feelings may be, they are not helping the situation. However, flowing love to someone (even if you are absolutely convinced they don’t deserve it!) can shift even the most painful and difficult of situations. Ultimately this exercise is for your benefit and so that you will feel better, so focus on creating more happiness within yourself rather than focusing on whether or not the other person actually deserves love. The point of this exercise is to change the way you think about this person and the feelings you flow towards them, because the way you think and act about someone influences the way they think about and act towards you.

So imagine a conversation between the two of you about the problem at hand, and express love to the other person in the words you speak, the gestures you make towards them, even the way you look at them. This may be extremely difficult depending on the circumstances of your situation, but do whatever you can to get into a place of being able to flow love towards this person. Remember, you are using your imagination here so can act loving towards them even if it seems impossible to do in real life! If it helps you, imagine flowing pink or golden light to this other person to really surround them in a feeling of love.

Here’s an example: Say you’re trying to collect money that someone borrowed from you a long time ago. You’ve asked them several times for the money back, but haven’t received a dime. When you think of them your thoughts are probably filled with anger or being taken advantage of, but you’re going to shift that to love with this exercise. So picture you and this person who owes you money sitting on the stage, and visualize a conversation between the two of you. You could be saying things to the other person like, “I just wanted to check in with you regarding the money you owe me. I know times are really tough right now and I understand that you are going through financial difficulties in your family. I’m so glad I was able to help you out and loan you the money you needed. I hope you were able to use it for what it was intended for. If you are ready and able to repay it to me now, I am open and willing to receive it. I’m sending lots of love to you and your family and hope you get back on your feet soon.”

Here’s another example: If you are trying to win back a significant other who has pulled away or left you for someone else, visualize the two of you on a stage having a loving conversation. You can say things to them like, “I wanted to let you know that even after all we’ve been through, I still love you more than ever. Our time apart has made me realize that I genuinely love and care about you, and always will. Ultimately I want you to be happy, so if that involves you being with someone else who is a better fit for you, I will understand because I truly want you to be happy. However, if it turns out that I am the best partner for you, I am open and willing to receive you back into my life now. I love you.”

The key is to make these conversations as loving and positive as possible, i.e. free from the anger or sadness you may be feeling in response to the situation in the real world. Flowing those feelings has not worked for you up until this point, so try flowing some love towards the other person! You do not need to tell the person about this exercise in order for it to work. They will sense a shift in the way you are treating them or thinking about them, even if they live far away. Remember, everything and everyone is energy and we are all connected.

Feel free to use this exercise as a starting point and tailor it in a way that works better for you. For example, if you’d rather see the other person sitting on a beach rather than an empty stage, try that! Or if you want to use this exercise to practice having a conversation with someone that you know is going to be difficult, feel free do that as well. The whole point of this exercise is to get you into a place of flowing positive, loving feelings towards the other person, rather than any negative feelings you may currently be flowing towards them.

Once you’ve tried this exercise, watch for changes to start occurring all around you, especially if you do this on a consistent basis. You’ll notice people going out of their way to be loving and helpful towards you, even people you didn’t use the exercise on! Most importantly, don't be surprised if all of a sudden the person who owes you money "magically" comes up with the money to finally pay you back, or your former significant other comes to the realization that you are The One for them after all. ;)

Happy Manifesting!

Learning from Others

2009-04-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

When you’re trying to make improvements to your life in a certain area, it can be difficult to look around and see others who have already achieved what you’re still trying to achieve. If you’re starting a business, you may feel twinges of jealousy or envy pop up when you read about someone who already owns an extremely successful business in the field you’re attempting to break into. Maybe you’re an artist and have yet to sell a painting, whereas other artists you know seem to sell their products by barely lifting a finger! Or maybe you just don’t feel as happy or energetic as you’d like, but it seems like everyone around you always has that extra spring in their step.

Here’s my advice for this: Instead of feeding into your twinges of jealousy or envy (yep, I get ‘em too!), strive to learn as much as you can about how to achieve success from that person who has already achieved success in that area. The individual who is already accomplished in what you're hoping to make happen can serve as a great resource or mentor for you along your path to success! Not to mention, if someone else has already achieved your goal, that’s a great thing for you because that is positive proof that it can be done. Hey, if they can do it, so can you!

If the person has written a book, read it! If the person lives in your area, ask to grab coffee with them and pick their brain about how they achieved their results. Don’t worry, they will be extremely flattered if you tell them why you want to meet with them. If the person is a good friend of yours, then you have no excuses not to learn from them! Even just spending time with them and observing how they treat others or how they get things done on their to-do list can teach you a lot about success. Say you have a friend who is great with relationships and you’re only so-so. The next time you hang out with your friend and her spouse, notice how she treats her spouse and see if it’s any different than the way you treat potential suitors.

My point is, it can be easy to get frustrated when you’ve hit a roadblock or two and you see others around you who seem to be sailing through their goals with flying colors. Rather than feeling despair, however, a more productive thing to do is figure out what makes the other person successful and implement those techniques in your own life. This keeps you in action (learning and implementing new strategies) rather than staying stuck and feeling sorry for yourself, which is a much lower vibration. Remember, your external world cannot change until your internal world does. Therefore, if you are carrying around thoughts and feelings of, “Poor me, I will never get anywhere…”, that is exactly what will keep happening in your life! To shift this to a more positive vibration, focus instead on the fact that someone else has succeeded and therefore, so can you. And your first step to success is observing how they have created their own success and seeing if you can replicate any of that yourself.

This is one reason why I love attending personal growth seminars put on by others who have already achieved what I’m trying to achieve. By observing how they carry themselves, how they interact with others, how they conduct their business, etc., I get a lot of great insight into how I can create similar results to them. Even if you can’t attend a seminar, visit that person’s website or sign up for their monthly newsletter to see if you can get any insights into how they have created their results. You don’t even have to replicate what they do, but just open yourself up to some of the possibilities that are out there.

I recently met someone who has achieved several of the goals that are on my vision board and I felt myself starting to get down on myself for not having already achieved the same results. Then I realized what an amazing resource this person could be for me in realizing my dreams, and I started asking her a ton of questions and arranging to be around her as much as I could. I encourage you to try the same technique in your own life and watch as your results start to soar overnight!! :-)

Create A Vision Statement

2009-04-16T17:48:00.000-07:00

Most of you have probably heard of creating a vision statement or mission statement for businesses, but how many of you have ever thought of creating a vision statement for your life? Let’s explore this a little further!

A vision statement is basically a statement that describes an ideal outcome, whether it’s for your business, your organization, your family, or your life! A vision statement answers the question, “What direction am I (are we) headed in?” and serves to inspire you and motivate you to achieve that vision. Traditionally they are used in the professional world, but today I’d like to encourage you to create a vision statement for your life… and live from that as often as possible.

In order to create a vision statement for your life, you’ll want to first check in with yourself and figure out what your top values are, i.e. the most important things to you in life. Do you value success in the corporate world, commitment to family, or a combination of the two? Do you value adventure and excitement, or peace and tranquility? Do you value relationships, your independence, or a balance of the two? Take some time to really discover what you value and want out of life.

Once you’ve decided upon your values (pick 3-5 that really resonate with you), you can begin incorporating them into your personal vision statement. Construct your vision statement in the present tense, and really capture the essence of what you want your ideal life to look like. You can use a few sentences (it doesn’t have to be just one), and use emotion wherever you can to really get your senses involved in your vision. Remember, your vision statement is supposed to inspire you and propel you forward to creating your ideal life, so make it extra juicy!

A few months back I did this exercise and came up with the following vision statement: “I am so ecstatic to be consciously creating my ideal life on a daily basis and making all of my dreams come true. I am committed to creating the financial abundance I require to live the life of my dreams, travel the world, and express myself in all ways possible. I am 100% committed to personal growth and becoming the best possible version of myself. Above all, I am committed to loving myself exactly as I am, through thick and thin, and loving and supporting others to become all that they can be and create their ideal lives.“

From my vision statement above, you can tell that my main values are self-expression, personal growth, living my ideal life and making all of my dreams come true, enabling others to create their ideal lives, financial abundance, and travel. Read your statement over a few times to make sure it really captures and represents what you’re striving to achieve in life!

Once you’ve created your vision statement and are satisfied with it, display it in various places that you will see often. This way you will be constantly reminded of what your ideal life looks like, so you will focus on it and go after it! Put copies of your vision statement up on your refrigerator, on your computer, in your wallet, on the mirror in your bathroom, etc., wherever you will see it often. You can handwrite it or type it, whatever you think will capture your attention the most. Feel free to get creative with it as well, and use various colors and designs when displaying it.

Having your personal vision statement and thinking about it often can be helpful in motivating you to achieve your dreams, but can also keep you focused when things are not going exactly as planned. Say you value creativity and expressing creative aspects of yourself, but right now you are working a corporate job that doesn’t allow you to express those sides of you. Don’t fret! You can still express creativity in your life, both at work or at home. At work, you can write in your journal on your lunch break or be creative in the way you decorate your office. If that’s not cutting it, be sure to devote lots of time outside of work to expressing your creativity. Take a painting class, start a blog, or write a novel! The point is, even if your dream is to be in a profession that fully supports your creative urges, you can still express those urges now while you are waiting for your ideal vision to manifest.

Take a few minutes today to create a personal vision statement for your life, and set an intention that you are going to make all of your wildest dreams come true!

Lighten Up!

2009-04-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just take life way too darn seriously. We think that we have to get everything done on our to-do list TODAY, and that we should have achieved all of our goals yesterday. Taxes are due in a few days, the house needs cleaned, the laundry is piling up, you haven’t worked out in awhile, etc. So much to do, so little time!

If you’re familiar with the law of attraction then you know that sometimes stressing yourself out to check everything off your to-do list and leaving little time for fun actually works against you in creating your ideal life. The law of attraction states that the key to creating things in life is not only thinking thoughts that are in alignment with what you wish to create, but also finding those things that make you feel good and doing more of that. It sounds counter-intuitive in our society that values action, action, and more action, but sometimes the best thing you can do is just goof off a little, take a nap, or watch a good movie!

So today I want to remind (and myself) to lighten up! Here are some suggestions:

- Take a stroll around your neighborhood and notice all the blooming flowers
- Go to Starbucks and enjoy your coffee and newspaper there, rather than rushing straight home
- Paint some Easter Eggs or go on an Easter Egg hunt - hey, adults can do this too!! (and no, they don't have to be as intricate as the ones above)
- Go to www.cafepress.com and create your own fun, personalized t-shirts!
- Watch a really good movie
- Read a steamy romance novel
- Read a gossip celebrity magazine
- Create a vision board and really let your imagination run wild!
- Take a much-needed nap
- Do a paint-by-numbers painting
- Take your dog for an extra long walk; if you don’t have a dog, ask to borrow a friend’s!

Those are just a few examples, but you get the point. There are so many fun, inexpensive things to do that many of us never even think about. We are so focused on getting all of our “tasks” done, that we forget that life is meant to be FUN!!! Remember, life is all about the journey, not the destination! :-)

If you take time today to lighten up and infuse your life with more fun, creativity, and goofing off, not only will you enjoy the ride of life more but you’ll actually end up creating more happiness in your future. Everything you are thinking and feeling today is actually creating what you will think and feel in the future. Remember, positive feelings today = positive feelings in the future!

Releasing Stuck Energy

2009-04-01T12:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I spent three days at a charming retreat center in upstate New York with the lovely Kimberly Wilson. I was there on a yoga/creativity/spirituality retreat with other “hip tranquil chicks” and I had a fabulous time!

One of the main things I learned over the weekend was the importance of using energy in attaining our desires. I already knew this, but it always helps to be reminded! We did this fascinating exercise Saturday morning, which was a sort of movement meditation called the 5Rhythms by Gabrielle Roth. The 5Rhythms is based on the principle that everything is energy, and moves in waves, patterns and rhythms. Furthermore, by “moving the body, releasing the heart, and freeing the mind, one can connect to the essence of the soul, the source of inspiration in which an individual has unlimited possibility and potential.”

The first few minutes I felt strange doing this exercise in a room full of other people (even though our eyes were closed!), but about halfway through I forgot all about being self-conscious and really let my body move in all the ways it wanted to. By doing this exercise I could literally feel myself unleashing all of the energy that had been stuck or blocked inside of me for years!

Most of us never think about it, but everything in our world is made of energy vibrating at different frequencies, including our bodies. And the way you flow or hold the energy inside of you has a direct impact on the results you create in the world around you. If the energy inside of you is stuck, things won’t be moving in your life either. If your energy is flowing rapidly in a positive way, expect a lot of love and abundance in your life! (For a really great explanation of this, read the latest posting by Jeannette Maw on her Good Vibe Blog, which talks about how horses serve as a great mirror for what is happening in our bodies).

What I learned about myself during the 5Rhythms exercise was that my energy was just plain STUCK! I was feeling blocked inside, because there was all this energy that was trapped and not going anywhere. And this made perfect sense when another of the exercises we did this past weekend showed me that my home environment is one of the few things in my life that is just not working right now. My condo is decorated in a way that really represents who I am, but there is clutter everywhere! Large piles of books, paper, and clothes in every corner of my place. I wish I could be on one of those organizing shows where someone comes and re-organizes everything for you, and voila! But I know that without addressing the internal issues, the clutter would just come back in due time.

And so it is with life. Whatever is happening on the outside, is always a reflection of what’s happening on the inside. If you’re holding angry energy inside, don’t be surprised when angry bosses, friends, and co-workers appear all around you. If you’re holding scattered energy inside, you can expect that you’ll have some evidence of this on the outside, like your husband can never remember where he put the keys! Conversely, happy energy inside = happy results on the outside. Thoughts of abundance on prosperity on the inside = abundance and prosperity on the outside!

I invite you to look inside yourself right now and see what type of energy you are holding. If you don’t understand what I mean by that, just observe what your typical state of being is: happy, sad, angry, stressed, peaceful, joyful, aloof, etc. Is that what typically shows up in your life? Know that if you are not satisfied with the results you are currently experiencing, you can change them by changing your energy inside! It can certainly take time and extra focus to make this shift, but it can happen and it will change what’s happening in your world!

By the way, after getting my energy flowing this past weekend I picked up the phone and hired a personal organizer to de-clutter my place! Once I freed up the blocked, stagnant energy inside of me and got it moving again, the manifestation of that stuck energy (lots of clutter) also became free to start moving again.

If you’re interested in learning more about freeing up stuck energy and releasing resistance in your life, I highly recommend using the Peace Treaty by Rain Fordyce. I listened to a free teleclass on the Peace Treaty a few weeks ago, and noticed results just by listening to the call! Tomorrow night Rain is offering another free teleclass, and I will be on the call to share the positive results I have had from using the Peace Treaty process. The details are: Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 at 5:30pm PDT / 8:30pm EDT. If you would like to sign up for the free call, go to http://coachingwithrain.com/peacetreaty.htm.

"Expect the Best"

2009-03-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

Sure, we’ve all heard it a thousand times… “Expect the best!” But does positive thinking really work, or is it just some cliché? It really works!! You’ve gotta use this phrase correctly, though. Keep reading to find out how…

The thoughts you think and the mental images you picture in your mind lead to your future reality. Whatever you are telling yourself and visualizing now is what will eventually come to pass in your life. For most people, it takes awhile to really buy into this concept. They’re either not fully conscious of the thoughts and images they’re feeding their minds, or they’re feeding themselves so many contradictory thoughts and images that it’s hard to figure out what’s going on in there!!

Here’s an example which hits close to home for me. Can you relate to this one? You’ve interviewed for a new job and have made it past the interview stage to the salary negotiations stage. Congratulations! But… what do you think about and tell yourself when it comes to your desired salary? Your company has offered you salary X, and you countered back with salary Y. So far, so good! You wanted more money, and you asked for it! They tell you, however, that they need some time to think this over and will get back to you in a few days. Now’s the time to pay really close attention to your thoughts.

I would venture to say that the average person (myself included) will spend the majority of the next few days focused on the following thoughts: “What am I doing to do if they don’t give me the salary I asked for? How will I pay my bills if they don’t meet my counter-offer? How will I take that vacation I’m planning if I only get x amount of dollars?” And on, and on, and on…

Sounds familiar, right?? That’s because we all do it! I think it dates back to our pre-historic days when we had to always be on the lookout for potential danger, so we could protect ourselves and not be eaten by a bear! We’re always focused on the worst-case scenario, but our thoughts create reality. Therefore, focusing on not getting the salary you want = not getting the salary you want! Initially it can be difficult to make this distinction because you may think that you are in fact focusing on getting the higher salary that you wish for. However, if the majority of your attention is actually on not wanting salary X (what your company is offering), then your attention is still on salary X, not the actually salary that you want. Bummer.

If this is you, instead steer your thoughts in the direction of what it will be like to actually receive the salary you asked for! What will it feel like to have the offer letter in your hands with the salary and benefits you negotiated for? How excited will you be when you tell your spouse that you received your desired salary? Go ahead and even decide where you’ll take your family to dinner to celebrate once you are offered the salary you desired! Do you see the difference? In the second case you are creating mental pictures of actually having the salary you would like, whereas in the first case you are feeding yourself mental pictures of being stuck with the salary you don’t want…

Unfortunately, even if you are telling yourself that you do not want something you are still focused on it. Heard the example of a pink elephant? Right now, do NOT think of a pink elephant!! Whatever you do, do NOT think of a pink elephant!! You thought of a pink elephant, didn’t you? :) It’s the same thing when you’re trying to create your ideal life. Always put your attention on what you want to create, rather than on what you don’t want to create (or what you’re trying to avoid). After all, thinking about “don’t want” = creating “don’t want.”

Here’s another example: Say you’re trying to lose weight. When you think of your body, do you think of yourself in terms of how you want your ideal body to look (hot bikini!), or do you see yourself as how you don’t want to look (x lbs. overweight)? Gotcha again, didn’t I? ;) Remember, energy goes in the direction of your thoughts. Or, what you think about is what you bring about!

Trust me, this stuff takes time if you’ve just realized all your thoughts are focused in the wrong direction. I’ve been studying this stuff for years and it still trips me up on a daily basis… but that’s part of the fun! When you catch yourself in the middle of thinking a thought that is leading you in the wrong direction, simply change the direction of your thoughts and instead steer them in the direction of that which you are wanting to create. Visualize yourself as already having whatever it is you desire, and with those thoughts and images you are literally magnetizing your ideal outcome to you... faster than you can imagine!

Post in the comments below if you have experience with the above and a story to share. I'd love to hear what you think :-)

Being Your Authentic Self

2009-03-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

“Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.” Patricia Hampl

I stumbled across the above quote the other day, and it immediately spoke to me. I am definitely going through a phase in my life where I am learning to be more authentically me, instead of being who others want me to be or what society wants to me to be. I am taking the risk to be who I really am, and it certainly does feel like a risk sometimes!

For anyone who is a follower of self help or personal development, we know that the gold at the end of the rainbow is finding out what it means to truly be our real self and to live from that self as often as possible. As the above quote says, though, sometimes living from your authentic self can take some getting used to and can be an acquired taste.

It can be scary to be your real self, especially when your real self goes against the grain of society. Fortunately I have received nothing but positive feedback on my website since I launched it, but honestly it took a bit of a leap of faith when I first created it because I had no idea whether people would respond to it or not. When I was a little girl and began reading self help books and scouting out the best personal growth resources, it certainly wasn’t as “mainstream” as it is today and people hadn’t fully recognized the value of self help resources yet.

It can be scary to be your authentic self when you find out that what your authentic self wants is a little bit out there! For example, if your real self is telling you it wants to grow up and get married to someone of the same race, have 2.2 kids, a dog, a white picket fence, and work for the same company your entire life, then that person might not feel as much apprehension at being their true selves as someone whose real desire deep down is to own their own business rather than doing the worker-bee thing, or not get married, or not have children. Everyone has their own right to pursue whatever dreams their heart desires, but unfortunately society does not always remember that.

Think about Barack Obama when he ran for president. He’s said that he feels it was his destiny to run for and be elected as president. So far things seem to be working out for him, but I’m sure when his inner self first started telling him to run for president he probably felt feelings of apprehension and fear. I know I would! Just to know that I was meant to run for president of the United States, let alone as the first African-American candidate to be elected, would take me a little time to get used to. It takes a lot of courage to step outside the box that society has placed around us.

The good news is, our authentic selves know the bigger picture and when you are brave enough to truly live from your authentic self, doors will fly open that you never even dreamed were possible! Opportunities will fall into your lap without you barely having lifted a finger, and people will appear in your life seemingly out of nowhere who can help you fulfill your dreams. All of a sudden things will really start to fall into place in your life. You will be amazed at how much more “in the flow” you are, and will wonder why you didn’t start living from your authentic self sooner!

If you need help getting in touch with your authentic self and finding the courage to be able to live from it full-time, please check out Jeannette Maw’s Art of Self-Love. I highly recommend it! There are not a ton of resources out there that explain what self-love is and how to love yourself, but this one really gets the job done. I have been following Jeannette's work for years, and admire everything she does.

I recently published an article on self-love on ezines.com, and was surprised when it received twice the number of hits as other articles I had published that were not related to self-love. Apparently people are really resonating with this idea of loving and accepting yourself as you are, and living your life from that place!

Again, for Jeannette Maw's "Art of Self-Love", please go here.

Create Your Best Week Ever!

2009-03-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

The other day on Twitter, I sent out a tweet that said something along the lines of “Create your best week ever! What would that look like for you? Use your imagination… ”. It was the beginning of the week and I was feeling great and ready to seize the day! Then someone tweeted me back and asked, “SelfHelpGoddess, what does your best week ever look like?” and that really got me thinking...

I know what I think a great day would be: warm weather, lots of money in my bank account, emails from good friends, etc. But what would constitute a really great day for me, and more importantly, what would it take for me to have an entire week that is my best week ever? And that’s where things got juicy!

When I really thought about it and figured out what my best week ever would entail, I was reminded how important it is for us to be super clear about what we want in our lives. It says this in just about every self-help book I’ve ever read, but it bears repeating here: In order to accomplish a goal or make something happen in our lives, the first step is always to figure out exactly what you want to accomplish. Sounds pretty basic, but you’d be surprised how many people neglect this step, including me!

Without getting perfectly clear about what you want in your life, you are basically just leaving things up to chance. Sure, some things will work out to your advantage without a lot of forethought, but why not stack the deck in your favor by getting really clear about what you want and then going out and making it happen. I’m probably starting to sound like a broken record here, but our thoughts do in fact create our realities so go take control of your thoughts and start thinking good ones that lead you in the direction of your dreams!

Here’s how it works: Say that one of my goals for creating my best week ever was to attract 100 new subscribers to my bi-monthly newsletter. I was thinking about it the other day and visualizing what it would be like to have 100 new subscribers this week, and all of a sudden I had this idea to put a subscription box to the right of this blog. This may seem pretty obvious, but I’m a newbie to this whole on-line business thing and it just hadn’t occurred to me yet. So I immediately figured out how I could get a subscription box on my blog, and voila! Which reminds me, go sign up for my newsletter in that pink box to the right... :)

Do you see how I got really clear about what I wanted, figured out a plan, and took action? Chances are I’ll be a lot more successful in accomplishing my goals if I go about it that way, rather than just leaving life up to chance without any real direction and just accepting whatever comes my way.

That simple example illustrates how consciously creating your life works: a) Become clear about what you want to create, b) visualize and feel what it would be like to already have that in your life, c) let go of attachment to the outcome, and d) take action when an opportunity presents itself! And that, my friends, is all it takes… Easier said than done, I know, but that’s really the gist of consciously creating your life.

And before I forget, don’t be scared to really allow yourself to dream about what your ideal life would look like. Let your imagination run wild! I’m willing to venture a guess and say that the majority of our society is focused on current reality, or “what is”. Everyone is so caught up in what is going on right this very second, that they forget that things can change in an instant. If you get a phone call from an employer offering you your dream job, your life is instantly changed. If you happen to meet “The One” at a coffee shop while you’re picking up your daily coffee, I guarantee that your life will change overnight.

So go for it!! Right now, stop and think what it would really take to create your best week ever… Think about all the juicy details, figure out exactly what you want, and then formulate a plan and take inspired action when the time is right. Good luck!

Do You Really Want Money? A Lesson in the Law of Attraction

2009-03-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason, this past weekend I was freaking out about money. I think all the news about the economy was getting to me. Yet at the same time, I know how important it is to keep your mind focused on the things you wish to create, rather than those you don’t. Law of attraction dictates that whatever you focus on will attract more of that into your life, so make sure you’re focusing on what you want to see more of!

I was consciously trying to find thoughts that felt better with respect to money, when “out of nowhere” a new idea came to me that had never occurred to me before. I knew that selling stock I own probably wouldn’t be worthwhile given the current state of the market, but it occurred to me that maybe I had money sitting in my account that I could access without having to sell anything. I quickly called my financial advisor (remember, the Universe loves it when you act FAST) and low and behold I had $664.78 sitting in my account, which I could withdraw immediately without having to sell anything or pay any penalties. Woo hoo! My financial advisor told me he would mail out my check that day, and sure enough two days later I had the check in my hands… This is a great example of how quickly the law of attraction can work if you focus your thoughts on what you want and release your attachment to the outcome.

Here’s the funny part, though. After I got off the phone and realized I had this money coming to me, I didn’t feel any better. I was hoping to feel relieved and more secure, but I didn’t feel any differently. That’s when it occurred to me that it wasn’t really money I was after, but something else entirely… And this is what we all need to remember.

So many of us think that once we get a raise, or win the lottery, or pay off all our debt, or this or that, that we will finally feel better about money and about life in general. We will finally be happy! But a lot of the time, this just isn’t the case. It’s not really the money you want, instead it’s the quality that you think the money will bring to your life… In my case, the quality I’m after is freedom to be able to pursue my own interests and continue developing my website, rather than being forced to work a corporate job that I really have no interest in. Freedom to be able to travel when I want to, go out to nice restaurants often, and just be able to do the things I enjoy doing. A lot of people think money will finally bring them the security they’ve been looking for their whole life.

I’m here to tell you that you could have all the money in the world, but if you’re not expressing that quality in your life that you’re truly looking for, then the money won’t make you feel any better at all! Granted, you may get a temporary “high” from a raise, or a higher-paying job, or an unexpected check in the mail, but unless you learn how to cultivate that quality in your life on an ongoing basis that temporary high won’t last…

From now on I encourage you to figure out what it is that you’re truly after and place your attention on that, rather than trying to decide where the money’s going to come from. Figure out what you really want, deep down, if money wasn’t an issue for you. You’ll be amazed at how many different ways the Universe can deliver your desires to you! For example, say your main desire right now is to take a trip to the Caribbean. You’ve been working hard and you’re dying for a vacation. Normally you might start focusing on ways to find the money to be able to travel, but this time I urge you to focus on the vacation itself. Visualize what it would feel like to be laying on the beaches in the Caribbean, relaxing in the sun, without a care in the world… Pick up some travel brochures and buy a new swimsuit. How would you feel? Free, liberated, relaxed, calm? Focus on those feelings you would feel on your dream vacation rather than worrying about where the money will come from, and just watch! You may just win a free trip to the Caribbean in a contest you entered awhile back, or a friend may invite you along on all expenses-paid trip that her company is paying for… you never know!

So many of us get caught up in worrying how we’re going to make things happen in our lives, but if you steer your attention in the right direction you’ll be amazed at how the Universe can deliver things to you. I read a story once where a woman was dying to move to Spain and live in the countryside, but had no clue how she was going to afford it. However, she maintained her focus on living in the Spanish countryside, and not long after she was asked to permanently house-sit a home because the owners were never there. Not only was she able to live in the house rent-free, but they also helped pay her expenses. And guess where the house was? The Spanish countryside, of course! Not bad, right?

Here’s the even cooler part: When you start focusing on and expressing those qualities you really want in your life, there’s a very good chance you will start manifesting money anyway! In the Caribbean example above, say you do end up winning a free trip to one of the islands… There’s a high likelihood that you’ll also start manifesting more money to you in general, because you’ve shifted your vibration regarding money. You are no longer needing money to make you happy, because you realize that the Universe can bring your desires to you in several different ways, many of which don’t even require you earning more money. And as you release your neediness and attachment towards money, you’ll discover that money can flow more easily into your life! Try it, and you'll see:)

Have you noticed examples like this in your life, where money wasn't really what you wanted after all? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below!

The Self Help Goddess gets publicity!

2009-03-03T15:37:00.000-08:00

This article was just published by USNews. Check it out here or read the full text below.

In a Recession, Hiring Celebrity-Style Coaching Pays
Professionals pay experts to shape their image and careers in response to the recession
By Kimberly Palmer
Posted March 3, 2009

When Mary Knebel, a 30-year-old in Washington, DC, was laid off from her corporate job last December, she wasn't sure whether she wanted to find a new one or follow her dream of launching her own website. To help figure it out, she hired Kimberly Wilson, a yoga teacher, author, and business woman who offers one-on-one mentoring sessions for $150 per hour. "[Wilson] was helpful in giving me the confidence to go forward and say, 'This is possible,'" says Knebel.

Knebel is one of a growing number of professionals hiring coaches to help them achieve their dreams amid the recession. Whether it's to find a new wardrobe for a job search or to get business advice for a new venture, people often turn to coaches during times of transition. "The primary reason is that they're not achieving their goals in the workplace, and they want some help to position themselves for upward mobility," says Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office and president of Corporate Coaching International. One growth area has been from people affected by lay-offs. "We're finding that as people get laid off, they're trying to figure out why were they laid off and not someone else?" Frankel adds.

The most common goal is to earn more money, says Bill Dueease, founder and president of Fort Myers-based Coach Connection, which helps connect clients with coaches. "With people getting laid off and saying, 'I don't want to get back in the rat race,' that's the perfect time to hire a coach," he says.

Finding a good coach. All coaches, though, are not created equal. Frankel warns that when it comes to business coaching, it's important to make sure the coach has specialized expertise and experience. She recommends looking for people who have 20-plus years of experience working inside a corporation, masters degrees or higher, or a certification from the International Coach Federation. According to a recent survey by Harvard Business Review, the median cost for one hour of coaching is $500 and ranges from $200 to $3,500.

That warning also goes for life coaching, which is sometimes called personal coaching. "It's not regulated, so everyone can call themselves a coach. Maybe 50 percent of the time, they are not providing coaching," he says. Websites like his FindYourCoach.com, which has screened thousands of coaches, can make sure people find trained coaches.

Getting started. For business coaching, the first step is to give the client feedback about how others perceive them. "A seasoned coach can usually sit with someone for an hour and figure out why they're not getting promoted," says Frankel.

Frankel once coached a manager who was surprised to hear that his employees felt he didn't care about them. To fix that problem, Frankel recommended that he hold more staff meetings, offer personal development in the form of guest speakers, meet one-on-one with staff at least once a quarter, and walk around the office more for casual chats. Frankel calls that last technique MBWA, or managing by walking around.

Another client, an information technology professional, tended to talk too much in meetings and dominate the conversation. Frankel suggested that he never speak first in a meeting and that when he did speak, it should be to comment on what others' had already said. That way, says Frankel, he learned how to become an active listener.

Life coaching, says Dueese, usually starts with a conversation about who the client is and what his preferences are. "The coach asks questions about you to get you to open up and reveal things that you've never revealed before," he says. The coach might start by asking what the client thought about when he first woke up in the morning, for example. "You discover what all of your passions are, and what the self-imposed obstacles are," Dueese adds.

Looking good, feeling good. Rachael Shayne, a style coach based in San Jose, Calif., starts sessions by examining clients' current wardrobes. Usually, she says, clients come to her when they're at a crossroads: They have a new job, just got divorced, or are celebrating a big birthday. Shayne recommends purging some items from their closets and then helps them build a wardrobe that reflects their lifestyle. One common mistake she finds herself correcting is that people often have closets full of clothes, but too few high-quality pieces they love. "Buying the best shoes you can afford means they're more comfortable, they look better, and then you carry yourself well when you have some of that confidence," she says.

While some people might feel they can get this kind of advice by watching shows such as TLC's What Not To Wear instead of paying several hundred dollars for a coaching session, Shayne says the difference is customized advice. Sometimes, people need to be told that they can explore different color combinations or move away from a comfortable polo-and-chino pairing. Shayne says she often encourages working women to experiment with color. "If you get too matchy-matchy, it can be very aging. Instead of wearing navy with cream, try wearing it with lavender, or olive with mint," she says.

Making dreams come true. Before Kimberly Wilson meets with clients, she asks them to fill out a questionnaire about their goals and vision statement. She says the women she works often want to grow or start a business, but they feel stuck. A mentoring session can help them see what they need to do to move to the next step, she says.

That's what happened for Camille Moses-Allen, a 26-year-old yoga teacher based in Baltimore. She was feeling stressed out and underpaid teaching 15 yoga classes a week. Wilson pointed out to her that she was spending too much time in the car and recommended that she create a website where she offered yoga-related services, including workshops, which can pay more than classes. Moses-Allen recently arranged to teach her first workshop and is in the process of creating her website.

"She helped me find out what would be more lucrative instead of giving 110 percent of my energy for something that wasn't working," says Moses-Allen. Wilson also offered some personal advice: Moses-Allen had suffered a bad break-up, and Wilson urged her to use the personal ads on publications such as The Onion and Salon to find someone new.

Since meeting with Wilson, Knebel began working full-time on her website, www.selfhelpgoddess.com, which she is in the process of expanding. One of her favorite pieces of advice was to "act as if you're already living the life you want to be living," down to what she'd wear and who she'd spend time with. Says Knebel, "It definitely had an impact."

A Self-Love Exercise - super powerful!

2009-02-28T13:07:00.000-08:00

I first learned about this exercise last year when I was attending Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success conference in Scotsdale, Arizona. Most of you will be familiar with Jack Canfield as one of the co-creators of the mega-popular Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Jack is phenomenal, and if you ever have the chance to see him speak live or present at a conference, I highly urge you to take that opportunity! Jack taught the following self-love exercise, and does it himself on a daily basis. This was the one piece of homework we absolutely had to do every single night of the conference. I figured if someone as successful as Jack Canfield does this every day, then I should do it too! I’ve since seen variations of this exercise in several popular self help books, including Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

The exercise is called The Mirror Exercise, and you’ll understand why. Every night before you go to bed, preferably after you’ve washed your face, brushed your teeth, put on your pj’s, etc., find a mirror in your home that you can stand in front of undisturbed for a few minutes. If you’re married or have a roommate, you’ll want to ask them to give you a few minutes to yourself because you should do this exercise alone to get maximum results. So find a mirror, either in your bathroom or bedroom, and stand in front of it by yourself.

For the first few seconds, just stand there and really look at yourself, deep in your eyes. Chances are you’ve never done this before, so it will probably feel very uncomfortable or awkward, and you may find yourself turning away from the mirror! Rest assured that this is normal, and simply direct your gaze back to your eyes and send yourself as much love and acceptance as you can. Really look at yourself and see what you look like to the outside world. Look at your eyes, your skin, your forehead, your nose, etc. and if you’re standing in front of a full-length mirror look at the rest of your body, too. (If you’re brave enough to try this exercise naked, go for it! But it’s not required to get powerful results…)

After you’ve really looked at yourself for a few seconds, say out loud to yourself “I love you” and then your full name. So for me I would say, “I love you, Mary Knebel.” Again, you are saying this out loud, and this may bring up uncomfortable feelings. Do your best to just stick with any feelings that come up, whether positive or negative. They are just feelings and you can accept them and allow them to be.

Then you want to reflect over your day, and think of things that you are proud of yourself for accomplishing. These can be big or small things, but aim to find 5-10 things that you did during the day that you can appreciate yourself for. Here are some examples, “I’m so proud of you for eating a healthy dinner.” “I’m so proud of you for finishing the memo you said you would finish.” “I’m so proud of you for reading the kids a bedtime story before bed.” You get the idea! The idea is to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for things you achieved during the day. Again, aim for 5-10 things and remember you are saying these things out loud to yourself!

While continuing to look at yourself in the mirror, flow love and compassion towards yourself as best as you can. Now you want to find things that you love about yourself and acknowledge those qualities. For example, “I love that you have such pretty eyes.” “I love that you are such a loyal friend.” “I love how creative you are.” “I love how toned your arms are.” You can focus on things you love about yourself that are either physical characteristics or that have more to do with who you are as a person. The key is to find things about yourself that you can truly love and appreciate and acknowledge yourself for.

Finally, to finish this exercise, look yourself deeply in your eyes for a few more seconds and then say out loud one last time, “I love you” and then your name. So for me it would be, “I love you, Mary Knebel.” Really be with any feelings that come up, whether positive or negative, and just allow them to be there. Loving yourself means loving ALL of you, feelings and all.

And that’s it! As I mentioned above, this will probably feel uncomfortable or even awkward the first few times you do this. However, I guarantee you that this is normal and that you will get over it if you keep practicing! Here’s the catch: You should do this for 40 days straight, without skipping a day. If you skip a day, start over from Day One and do the 40 days all over again! After 40 continual days this will become a habit in your subconscious mind, and you will notice how much better you feel about yourself and how much more comfortable you are in your skin. The world will seem to become a much more loving and accepting place towards you, but in fact it’s your thinking that has changed the world around you. Remember, your thoughts become your reality… so the more loving thoughts you have within, the more loving the outside world will be towards you. Give this exercise a shot, and let me know how it went in the comments below!

If you're interested in learning more about the subject of self-love, I highly recommend the new Art of Self-Love product by master law of attraction coach, Jeannette Maw (known as the Good Vibe Coach). She has created an ebook, audios, and an accompanying workbook, which will truly get you to understand why it's so important to love yourself and how to do it, with simple yet powerful exercises like the one above. I was fortunate enough to read a preview copy of Jeannette's ebook, and it is fantastic! Not only does she teach you what it means to love yourself, but because she is a law of attraction coach she also explains how crucial self-love is in manifesting your desires. I mention Jeannette several times on my website, because I have been following her for years and truly believe in all her teachings and products. If you are serious about increasing your self-love, you’ll definitely want to grab your own copy of this product. To learn more, go here.

2009-02-25T15:22:00.000-08:00

Are You Stuck on Perfectionism?

I was going to write on article on perfection for my upcoming newsletter (have you subscribed yet?), but I decided I just can’t wait that long and need to write about this NOW!! So let me ask you this, are you stuck on perfectionism? Personally, I’m learning how to "un-stick" myself and not get caught in this addictive disease…

You know what perfectionism is, right? You think everything has to be absolutely perfect before you take a step in the direction of your dreams. You think, I’ll never find a publisher because my manuscript isn’t perfect yet. I’ll never find my ideal job because I don’t have the perfect resume for it. And he/she would certainly never be interested in me because I don’t have the perfect body, hair, whatever! Trying to better yourself is a good thing, in fact a GREAT thing, but often times our quest for perfection gets in our way and derails our plans.

When I started working on my website, I sent it around to a few friends to get their comments. I would preface my email by saying, "This certainly isn’t done yet, but take a look…". And the next thing I know they had forwarded it around to all their friends! I wanted to scream out, "No, no, it’s not done yet!!", because I told myself that it wouldn’t have any value if it’s not absolutely perfect. I wanted to add this section, or find a better picture for this, or a better graphic for that, or spell check it more closely, and on and on and on. And between you and me, there are still a TON of things I would like to add or change about my site until it looks “good enough” in my eyes to send around to people.

At this point, though, I’m learning to let go and release my grip on perfectionism (which has been an issue for me over the years). I realize that my website and other things in life can still have value even if they are not absolutely perfect. In fact, what really is perfect in today’s world? Nothing!! And that is what we all need to remind ourselves if we get trapped in the cycle of perfectionism. There is no such thing as perfection; therefore, there’s no need to hold yourself back by striving for perfection. You’ll never reach it, no matter how hard you try! ;)

Furthermore, have you ever noticed how many “average” people are succeeding and making their wildest dreams come true, while you’re still waiting to achieve perfection on the sidelines? You're good enough as you are, right now!

"The perfect is the enemy of the good." - Voltaire